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Would long term relationships flourish more if each person in the long term relationship deleted all their social media?

June 10, 2022
10 upvotes

I feel like social media is altogether toxic. I personally deleted mine because it hasn't helped me at all in my life except distract me from what I'm supposed to be doing. In a relationship, I feel like it would tempt you to cheat because of who you see on there and the DMs you would get from other people. It makes you compare yourself to other people in your personal life you see on there and the influencer crowd. I think the whole "I think I can do better than my SO" is toxic af and social media helps keep it alive.

Social media is a women's life... Likes, likes, and more likes. Empty dopamine hits. Could I depend on a modern women to delete their social media and keep it deleted? Idk, would be hard to trust her.

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Post Information
Title Would long term relationships flourish more if each person in the long term relationship deleted all their social media?
Author PaleoPimp
Upvotes 10
Comments 56
Date June 10, 2022 9:22 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-long-term-relationships-flourish-more-if.1116493
https://theredarchive.com/post/1116493
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/v9hy39/would_long_term_relationships_flourish_more_if/
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Comments

[–]Last_2_WorkNo Pill 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I use social media and my partner uses it. Neither of us post much and it doesn't really negatively impact our relationship in any way. It depends on how the people i. the relationship use it.

[–]SmakeTalk 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds to me like you're projecting a bit. Did you have a wandering eye in a past relationship via social media?

Social media is absolutely capable of being a toxic environment/medium, but you're assuming a lot here about women who use it. Not sure why you're doing that but I'm curious so I'd love to hear a bit about your dating history.

Also there are lots of amazing women in the world who don't use social media at all, or very sparingly. Maybe focus on finding someone like that :)

[–]BikerbatsNo Pill 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm sorry dude, but that's so naive it hurts. If you think social media is a threat to relationships, how are you going to handle it if she gets attention in real life? I'll tell you straight up that temptations online pale in comparison to the ones in the flesh.

[–]Blame_the_Muse{<my pussy tastes like pepsi cola>} 10 points11 points  (27 children) | Copy Link

No

Why do you guys act like all psychosexual problems were invented in the past 15 years

[–]ChessClubChick 1 point2 points  (26 children) | Copy Link

Have you met a modern woman? Most of their neuroses are extremely “current”.

[–]Blame_the_Muse{<my pussy tastes like pepsi cola>} 3 points4 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever talked to your grandma? Or your mother? Honest question

[–]ChessClubChick 4 points5 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Neither were concerned about the number of likes their latest selfie received.

[–]Blame_the_Muse{<my pussy tastes like pepsi cola>} 4 points5 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

But they were concerned about their looks and popularity. Female likes are a proxy for that

[–]Siukslinis_acc 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But they were concerned what the neighbour and other random people (that you might see once) think.

To quote my grandma "what would others think!".

[–]Hoopy223No Pill 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Social Media and Video Games are the “Opiate of the Masses”. I don’t see them going away anytime soon either.

[–]Short-FingersPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You forgot porn, the worst of them all

[–]PlayfulLawyerNo Pill 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it would hurt the relationship, unless of course social media is how one of the people makes their money

[–]sabiinvestingNo Pill 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you are with a not so desirable women, okay, I see what you are getting at. The thing is, desirable women know they are desirable even without social media. I can think of other reasons why social media could be bad, but I don't necessarily agree with your example.

[–]PaleoPimp1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Please elaborate.

[–]sabiinvestingNo Pill 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The ones who have plenty of options IRL are well aware of their options, and the addition of social media doesn’t change anything.

Just don’t date anyone who uses social media for validation. That’s a sad life, and I don’t think being around such person is going to bring anyone happiness.

I think you may be having troubles getting past the generalization though. An individual can contribute to generalizations, but generalizations should not necessarily be applied to individuals. It could be helpful to isolate the specific group that you may be worried about, even if the specific group seems very large to you in order to actually form a vetting strategy. And don’t expect someone to change easily. That’s just naive. What you see is what you get normally.

[–]Lateralanouncer 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not realistic. What is the actual issue with realionships, you don't like serial monogamy, why not accept that and enjoy your turn.

[–]funlightmandarin 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know who cheats?

Cheaters. They manage to do that with or without social media.

And no, social media isn't "women's life".

[–]Lysa_Bell 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You could say that about everything. Porn, social media, video games, hobbies, work. Everything distracts you from a relationship and that is good. Codependency isn't healthy. Being obsessed with anything isn't healthy.

[–]YoviQ 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You cheating is not the fault of social media.

[–]IWillKeepYourSecret 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't want to delete my social media, even though I barely use it. My Insta has a handful of pictures with the last one dating back to jan 1 2021.

In my mind, if social media tempts someone into cheating, they were a bad apple to begin with. I don't want to put restrictions on my partner's life if it means they'd otherwise be tempted by someone else.

Loyalty shouldn't be forced upon one another; it should be expected. It's not my partner's job to ensure I don't stray, nor vice versa. If it ends up coming to light that my partner did cheat, then I couldn't blame social media for that. My partner is responsible for their own actions, and I should trust them with that responsibility. If I feel like I can't, then no amount of restrictions would help either of us.

[–]MelodiousTones 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is social media, and you are posting on it.

[–]HighestTierMaslow 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not all women, I don't care about it much.

[–]relish5kYang Pilled 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I only really use social media to post pictures of me and my husband and baby...so no, it is not a threat to our relationship.

It is a threat to my mental health tho because of shit like PPD

[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you don't genuinely like/trust women.

[–]BlackPorcelainDoll🌹 ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴄʀɪᴍᴇꜱ 🌹 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If social media is hurting you, you aren't using it right any way. Social media is the key to strategic networking and $$$. It's one of the best tools to date. I have 3 social medias for multiple purposes and it's never caused an issue. Likewise with all my friends.

It is laughable you think socially active women with a presence even answer their unimportant messages from male randoms, let alone notice them. I've written up some self tips for women/men 'addicted' to electronics harmfully and turning it into a utility tool without necessarily having to cold-turkey something that can serve you well.

[–]Financial_Leave4411 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think so. Myself and most people I know use social media to keep up with friends and family that live far away. I think it has more to do with if an individual is trustworthy or not rather than if the technology is around or not.

[–]Barneysparky 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I follow antiques and plants on social media. I doubt this affects my relationship.

[–]funlightmandarin 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You know.. all these kitten videos.. being a cat lady does look tempting.. 🤔

Wandering eyes confirmed.

[–]Barneysparky 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dam straights, he knows you will leave him for those cats one day.

[–]funlightmandarin 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Inevitable. He never stood a chance.

[–]AloneOnTheStrange 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Also a huge amount of other personal problems would improve as well. Social media has magnified almost everything shallow, neurotic, and selfish about how we interact. And I challenge anyone to tell me a way it's improved anything.

[–]TotalTravestyNo Pill Male 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m glad that you recognized the potential problem social media would have in your life and removed yourself from the situation, but a lot of people are perfectly fine with the presence of social media.

You’re not describing problems inherent or exclusive to social media. Those are symptoms of low self-esteem. You remove social media from your girl’s life and eventually you’re going to wonder, “What about her real life friends? What about her male coworkers?” Other men exist. Deal with it.

Social media is a women's life... Likes, likes, and more likes. Empty dopamine hits.

You’re describing either a professional social media personality or a social media addict. Either one is rare and easy enough to avoid.

[–]oflbtbs 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wives on there posting a whole bunch of pics of themselves in yoga pants doing lots of poses. Its good eye candy and good to get them competitive over their looks so they dont get fat.

[–]Play_MutedPost pic or didnt happen. -1 points0 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

Definetly. I only follow my close friends and people I know. I dont understand why would anyone add strangers, I also dont understand public profiles if all you do is posting your pictures.

[–]studentoftheworlds 0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy Link

we make money from posting our pictures you don’t

[–]SpiritualEnemaRed Pill Man 1 point2 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Sure you do.

[–]studentoftheworlds 1 point2 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

I have 50k on tiktok and 12k on instagram, did you seriously think people were vlogging and taking pictures of everything they do for fun? LMFAO.

[–]SpiritualEnemaRed Pill Man 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Good for you. Enjoy the McDonalds value menu with those royalty checks

[–]Play_MutedPost pic or didnt happen. 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

post pics or didnt happen

[–]cowfishAreReal -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on how those people use social media, me and my partner literally never had any issues due to social media

[–]Orange_PaisleyDowager Empress -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We live in California. My family is all mainly on the East Coast and my sister lives in Europe; my husband’s family is all in Mexico. Social media is an efficient and easy way to keep up with everyone and I do not think either of us will be deleting it. I’m watching my lil niece and nephews grow up via the magic of Facebook.

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[–]baresquad 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean maybe if you’re like 19 then I guess social media is a big bad boogeyman for dating. If you’re enticed to cheat or scared your partners is gonna cheat or wanna be an influencer, safe to probably bet you’re immature.

Most well-adjusted adults treat social media like second fiddle. Yeah we’re active, but we have lives now that we didn’t when we were teens to actively engage for it to mean something. People have work, grad/med school, hobbies, activities, it’s summer time.

If anything this sounds like projection. Likes and dopamine sound like stuff you care about so you might apply that to women based on stereotypes? Idk. But at the end of the day, no. No relationship is worth me deleting social media and I’ll never do it. I wouldn’t expect my girlfriend to either because again, this is something most adults effortlessly balance in their already-busy every day lives.

[–]ashpr0ulx 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

having social media in itself isn’t always bad, my partner and i both have some forms of social media, he uses it more than i do but we’re both infrequent posters.

if you’re using social media for entertainment and sharing memes and dumb shit with your friends, i don’t think that’s particularly harmful.

i do think it crosses a line somewhere and becomes harmful, but i can’t say exactly where that is. i think oversharing, drawing and engaging with romantic attention, or being generally obsessed with an online image/persona is where social media can potentially tank a relationship.

[–]Khanluka 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Delete social media does make relationship beter but not for the reason your saying it. That lost time can then be spend together and bond better. And you could get more enjoyment out of real life effect. Sociaal media is bad due it cause mental illuse in lots of poeple healthy poeple live happier lives leads to beter relationships.

[–]DorianneGrey 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t have any social media aside from LinkedIn for business and Reddit (not sure if Reddit counts). I understand that it’s important for the younger set but I personally don’t see any benefit 🤷‍♀️

[–]mandoa_sky 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

depends on how you use it. i got Instagram because most of my friends are artists and they use it to show off their projects.

i use Instagram for craft and DIY tips. some of my best recipes came from there too.

[–]RealNiceLady 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Would long term relationships flourish more if each person in the long term relationship deleted all their social media?

That would only be true if someone is prone to cheating or retroactive jealousy.

Could I depend on a modern women to delete their social media and keep it deleted

Usually no.

[–]EulenWatcher 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not really. If a person has insecurity/insecure attachment style/validation seeking behavior, they'll find another way to indulge in it even without social medias. They'll find attention or people to compare to in real life.

Cutting off unnecessary temptations is a smart move, but I'm not sure for how many people social medias are a temptation to start with. I have a few pages and I don't post any photos there. Neither does my husband. We follow mostly our relatives and close friends, so...what's tempting about it?

[–]sarkington 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe, but at the expense of your other relationships

Depends on how immersed and dependent you re to begin with, like, oh, pretty much everything

[–]xsurferdude123x 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. Social media is the cause of many many problems and until society wakes up and sees that. We are all in trouble.

[–]Over_Noise3530 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some people are only in a relationship for the sake of posting it on social media

[–]extrachromozomes 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m mature enough to use social media without it clouding my judgement

[–]ProseccoIsLife 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The cheater always finds a way - be it social media, party at the disco or simply meeting a rando in a cafeteria. For me sm is just another way of interacting with my SO - we share funny memes from shitposting groups, get ideas for trips together, see nice events in neighbourhood. It's not the tool but how you use it that's dangerous.

[–]Frosty-Gate-8094 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The very fact that you are on reddit, that means you haven't deleted 'social media'.

Technically, reddit is also a form of social media.

[–]Stunning-Potato-1984 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do people think like that?

I really love it. Great for sewing groups and I even had a Japanese friend I hadn't seen in over a decade notice I was there and we reconnected and it was amazing!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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