At the risk of sounding autist, in light of the countless times I've had to say it on this sub, I'm making this an official part of the side-bar content. HAVE A MISSION.

In 209 I referenced how to develop a mission. Sure, it's a little juvenile. But if it works, it works.

Here's the thing: If you're rightly on a mission, nothing else matters. The church likes to throw out the three Ms as the most important things in your life: Master, Mission, Mate. Screw that. It's Mission, Mission, Mission. Here's why the other two don't matter.

MASTER

Jesus says plainly: "The one who has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me" (John 14:21). It's not a large leap to assume, then, that anyone who deliberately rejects Jesus' commands doesn't love him, and that instead that person will be subject to fiery judgment (Hebrews 10:26-31). There is no middle ground, as Jesus said, "Whoever is not for me is against me" (Matthew 12:30).

Jesus gave us the three greats: (1) love God, (2) love Others, (3) make Disciples (Matthew 22:36-38, 39, and 28:19-20, respectively). I already addressed these more fully in 110. Go read that for a refresher. The point I'm drawing from that post is simply this: You cannot claim your "master" is a priority if you're not making disciples for Him.

MATE

You cannot keep a woman attracted to you if you don't have a mission in life that transcends her. Making your wife your mission or a primary aim in your life is the definition of being beta. Alpha men have better things to do in life than try to get girls interested in them. Ironically, having better things to do in life than trying to get girls interested in you is what will get girls interested in you - including your wife.

If you have no mission in life, then you're not going anywhere. If you're not going anywhere, how can your wife follow you? If she's not following you, then either you're following her or you're standing still and she's walking away. Either way, it's not good.

If you do have a mission in life, she might still walk away. That's her choice. If your mission is God-given (like the universal call to make disciples), then her choice to go in any other direction is sin. Follow the Matthew 18 process, and if she refuses to repent you're to treat her as an unbeliever. If she continues walking away from you, 1 Cor. 7 gives you the freedom to let her go. You don't need that in your life - Proverbs has plenty of passages that makes that clear.

ALL-IN-ONE PACKAGE

In 110 I wrote a lot about pursuing your mission above all else. This is Paul's compulsion to us in 1 Cor. 7 - to live as if we were still single: wholly devoted to pleasing God by doing what he put us here to do. But here's why this works.

If your mission for disciple-making is your highest priority in life ...

  • DNGAF: You DNGAF about anything that pulls you away from that mission.

  • Amused Mastery: You have an eternal perspective and know that even if your girl leaves you, that won't interfere with your having an impact on eternity.

  • Shotgun/Sniper: You will have a wide social network, constantly meeting new people to share the Gospel with and potentially disciple, not wasting your time eyeing a girl from afar. You'll find someone who's pursuing Christ alongside you, you'll eventually get inflamed with lust for each other, and you'll decide it's better to marry than to burn with passion.

    • A note on evangedating: this is a "sniper" mentality. It targets all of your efforts into one specific girl. I have no problem with cross-gender evangelism. Just don't use dating as a context to do it. Keep a shotgun approach.

  • Fitness Tests: You will pass these with ease because you won't be concerned about placating your wife when you've got more important things going on than her.

  • Frame: You won't be lured into her frame because doing so would interfere with your mission. She will naturally fall into your frame because if she doesn't (1) that would make her a harpy, non-submissive wife, which she'll know is theologically sinful, and (2) because she'll want to share in the glory/credit you eventually get on judgment day.

  • Eternity: It's probably worth noting that you'll have maximized your glory in eternity for Christ's benefit because of your service to His Kingdom.

  • ONEitis: You won't care because you're interested in doing what God put you here instead of singling out some hypothetical soul mate.

  • DYELB?: You will have a natural drive to stay fit because (1) the gym gives you yet another context to meet people who need Jesus and increase your social network for discipleship purposes, and (2) you know that looks matter and staying fit will give you more of a voice in people's lives than if you were a fat slob they're disgusted by, and (3) because you can't disciple someone into spiritual maturity as part of the body of Christ if you're not taking care of the temple he gave you - so your motivation to your mission compels you to do all these things as a natural priority anyway.

  • OYS Type 1: You'll naturally have your act together because that's how you earn influence in people's lives. As 1 Thess. 4:11-12 says, "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: you should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you [i.e. OYS] so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

  • OYS Type 2: You'll naturally be owning up to your flaws because confession is an essential part of your testimony, which is how you'll defeat the enemy and take ground for the Kingdom (Revelation 12:11), which Paul modeled for us (ex. Romans 7).

  • Sexuality: I've already said a number of times on this sub, and I'll refrain it again: physical reproduction is a roadmap to help us understand spiritual reproduction. So, you'll be motivated to have lots of sex, as the physical ecstasy from this experience will remind you of the spiritual ecstasy you get from winning a new convert; and the joy of raising physical children will remind you of the joy you will have in raising spiritual children as well.

  • Dread: Because your woman won't be your primary focus in life, and because you'll constantly be spending time outside the house working toward your mission, engaging with countless people toward a mission, as a high-value man with a mission, and looking really good to aid in your mission ... you better believe dread will come naturally.

Pretty much everything you learn in secular RP as a pursuit in itself becomes a natural byproduct for the one who is living on mission for Jesus Christ to make disciples of all nations.

If you don't have that mission ... you're screwed. You can try doing secular RP things in the context of being a Christian, but it's only going to get you about as far as secular people get in the first place. If you want the real deal, live out these concepts toward the purpose for which God created you in the first place.