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8 Resolutions for Christian Husbands (fixed)

OsmiumZulu
October 11, 2020
86 upvotes
/r/RPChristians

Several years ago The Gospel Coalition put out an article titled "8 Resolutions for the Christian Husband" written by Trevix Wax. I was only recently made aware of this article. Upon reading this short article I couldn't help but mentally correct it as I went along. Below is the corrected article, point-by-point.

1. I will tame my tongue. When it comes to my wife, I need to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

FTFY: I will speak the truth, lovingly but without apology, even when my wife doesn't want to hear it. I will not cower before her tantrums nor shirk my responsibility to wash her with the Word.

2. I will talk to my wife the way I would if a special and important person were visiting my home.

FTFY: Just as Sarah called Abraham her Lord (1 Peter 3:6) I will teach my wife to demonstrate similar respect and deference toward me with both her behavior and words.

3. I will always be upbeat and positive in my interactions with my wife. I am not called to critique her. I am called to love and accept her.

FTFY: As her husband, my wife belongs to me. Tending to her personal growth is one of my responsibilities. When she is out of line or exhibiting destructive, or otherwise sinful, behavior, I will be patient, but clearly and directly correct the behavior.

4. I won’t use my words to try to take from her. I will just give and bless, thinking about what she needs, not what I need.

FTFY: My wife is called to be a helpmate. I will give her guidance on how she can best serve me, our family, and the corner of the Kingdom I have been given by God to be responsible for. I will praise her for being capable and when cheerfully carrying out her role.

5. I will strive to serve my wife every day.

FTFY: I will strive to serve God every day.

6. I will win my wife’s heart so she, in turn, will want to be mine.

FTFY: I will strive to realize my God-given potential, and as a pleasant side-effect, my wife will eagerly desire me as I grow in strength.

7. Just as divorce is not an option with me, I want that same reality to be true for negativity or harshness with my wife. It is not an option for me to be harsh with my wife. Not under any circumstance. Ever.

FTFY: I will patiently teach my wife to approach me respectfully whenever she is concerned about my judgement or decisions. As my first mate, I will value my wife's input when it is presented appropriately and effectively.

8. I will sow seeds of righteousness by consistently committing to walk with the Lord. God will give me the power to bear this fruit and love my wife wholeheartedly.

FTFY: I will sow seeds of righteousness by consistently turning to God's Word and not the ignorant babbling of politically correct feminized "pastors" and teachers. The most loving thing I can do for my wife is to strive to order our marriage in accordance with God's revealed design, in scripture and in nature, no matter how unpopular it may seem to modern minds.

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Post Information
Title 8 Resolutions for Christian Husbands (fixed)
Author OsmiumZulu
Upvotes 86
Comments 28
Date October 11, 2020 10:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RPChristians
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/8-resolutions-for-christian-husbands-fixed.318597
https://theredarchive.com/post/318597
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/j9emg2/8_resolutions_for_christian_husbands_fixed/
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Comments

[–]OrlandoTheAxe23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact that the original list came out of a major Christian media outlet is a perfect example of how feminized the church has become.

[–]NoFaithInThisSubMission-Minded17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

good stuff, I was going to write a harsh satirical version myself, but na, I like yours.

[–]mysterious_75 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with everything you wrote, however that’s going to be quite hard to apply in a Western Society.

I grew up in Egypt, then I moved to Australia on my own for tertiary education when I turned 18, I am 30yo now, and decided to settle in Australia after finishing my studies.

And I found out that women in Australia are vastly different to women in other parts of the world. Western women grew up in a society where they saw their mothers scream and yell at their fathers, and they now think that that’s ok.

Christian women in Egypt grew up in households with a strong Christian and dominant father figure that managed the house (kingdom), and had submissive mothers as good female role models.

It’s an upbringing issue as to why women these days are just so rebellious and so hard to deal with (Christian or not).

Having dated many Christian and non-Christian women from Australia over the last decade, I am not sure I can ever settle with a woman that grew up in a western society.

It seems like it’s going to be a life of constant head-butting and arguing, and I am not ready for that. Nor do I want that life! I’d have to really like her to take on the difficult task of reprogramming all her wrong presumptions about gender roles to match what God’s word says. And she’d have to be a strong Christian to accept God’s word and not call it “old fashioned, from the dark ages blah blah blah”. The Bible is for all centuries and ages, it doesn’t expire!!!

I think when my time comes, I’ll probably go visit the some of the churches in Egypt (and other mediterranean neighbouring countries), and see if there are any women I could be interested there.

AND DO NOT for a second think that those women are oppressed, they’re not! They happily know and understand their role in society as Christian women, they were brought up correctly, according to God’s word by good mother and father figures in their household.

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Western women present a difficult option. I can't disagree with you that many (most) are deeply impacted by feminism; even the so-called Christian trad women. If you have the ability to find a woman from another culture, that may be a prudent option. Keep in mind, however, the fact that women are highly influenced by their culture. There are countless stories of guys finding a traditional woman from a foreign culture, bringing her back to the West, and watching in horror as she adopts Western patterns of belief ans behavior.

At the end of the day frame (the micro-culture of your worldview) has to be strong enough to counteract Hollywood, the media, academia, etc. Not an easy thing to do, and there are certainly no guarantees, but unless you plan to go MGTOW there are few other options.

Essentially, each of us is presented with different soil to start with. Some of it is fertile (pockets of traditional cultures) and some is rocky, arid, and hostile to life (Western culture). We can either not farm it (MGTOW), look for better soil (expatriation, import wife, etc) or make the best of it and work hard with the soil in front of you.

[–]unefilleperdue2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is lovely :)

[–]CarelessBowler52 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How is #6 not a covert contract?

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a generality backed by observable patterns. Attraction is not negotiable, meaning you cannot talk, bribe, or manipulate someone into finding you attractive. That said, across the board the vast majority of women find jacked muscular well dressed (or undressed) guys to be attractive. Especially if the guy demonstrates confidence in his speech and body language.

Add on other elements of a well developed man (high income, formed worldview, accomplished in various other areas, track record of success, etc) and the odds of such a guy being unattractive to his wife are pretty low.

In the same way that "studying hard leads to getting a passing grade on a test" is not a covert contract but a reliable generalization, "becoming a powerful man leads to being attractive to women" is likewise a generally reliable statement.

[–]Nodeal_reddit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Top tier.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Love this.

The only one that maybe seems a little off is #1 as it seems like you're going against the principle of STFU but obviously there's going to be nuances with anything. Thanks for sharing this.

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To shed some light on that, STFU is a square 1 beginner move intended to help prevent men from engaging the hampster and digging themselves into a deeper hole. AM, AA, Fogging, Pressure Flips, negs, or even straight up disagreement and stonewalling are all viable moves, but take stronger frame and more experience than most guys have just starting out. In other words, STFU is a basic tool used a lot to start, but is largely replaced by better tools once you learn to use them.

[–]dude777five1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am interested in becoming a better husband and when I read your post here it seems like you have a philosophy about what a real husband are. Where can I read more?

[–]TheInventor496 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you read the sidebar? That has a lot of information.

[–]TAUTJ1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

My question is, how and where do people come up with this stuff? Feminism truly is an abomination and a major torn in the church. And #5? Are you kidding me? Is Genesis 3:18 that difficult to understand?

[–]Deep_StrengthMod | Married | deepstrength.wordpress.com4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Servant "leader." With emphasis on being her servant.

Basically, chivalry in action. Instead of king and queen it's more or less she's still the queen but he's a knight.

[–]TAUTJ0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

I suppose I can somewhat understand, but completely disagree, with that viewpoint. How much twisting or misunderstanding of the scriptures do you have to reach that conclusion? If that's how most Christian women think, it's no wonder I haven't found one that's decent...

[–]Deep_StrengthMod | Married | deepstrength.wordpress.com3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Because feminism has covertly infiltrated the Church with chivalry being more overt.

It's kind of like the frog in the pot analogy. If you slowly raise the temperature they don't know until they're cooked. Same with many in the Church now. Jesus in Revelation 2 and 3 talks about how different errors that have infiltrated His Churches. The same still happens today. You get garbage like complementarianism and egalitarianism being pushed instead of what the Bible advocates.

Taking off the feminism and chivalry lens is hard for most men though, and when your worldview gets shattered like in the manosphere for many men it makes them angry that they were lied to all their lives.

[–]TAUTJ0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agreed on all points. It's just maddening to see in person even when you explain it. About the anger, how long did you stay in your anger phase? I wonder if that's half my problem because I haven't truly left it? It is irrational getting frustrated with truth or facts but I am frustrated seeing time slip away from me. Not sure how to reconcile that.

[–]Deep_StrengthMod | Married | deepstrength.wordpress.com0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

About the anger, how long did you stay in your anger phase?

I think the anger phase depends on how much you were lied to by people, especially those in the Church and women about how great a catch you are but they don't want to date you or that godliness is sexy and so on.

My anger phase was pretty short, but it seems like some people can get angry for years if they don't address it head on with the Scriptures.

It is irrational getting frustrated with truth or facts but I am frustrated seeing time slip away from me. Not sure how to reconcile that.

At the end of it all, God is still in control and can work things together for good (whether a wife or single serving God). We shouldn't dwell on the past but what we can do to serve God more effectively now and in the future.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]TAUTJ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I'll give those a read

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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