Biblical marriage vows

votebrusky · 2019-03-21T21:55:05+00:00

Why reinvent the wheel? Use these very biblical (and non-feminist) vows from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer

M. I REQUIRE and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful. At which day of Marriage, if any man do allege and declare any impediment, why they may not be coupled together in Matrimony, by God's law, or the laws of this Realm; and will be bound, and sufficient sureties with him, to the parties; or else put in a caution (to the full value of such charges as the persons to be married do thereby sustain) to prove his allegation: then the solemnization must be deferred, until such time as the truth be tried.

If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Curate say unto the Man,

N. WILT thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

The Man shall answer, I will.

Then shall the Priest say unto the Woman,

N. WILT thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?

The Woman shall answer, I will.

Then shall the Minister say, Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?

Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner.

The Minister, receiving the Woman at her father's or friend's hands, shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth.

I N. take thee N. to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Then shall they loose their hands; and the Woman, with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand, shall likewise say after the Minister,

I N. take thee N. to my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

WarriorJesus1915 · 2019-03-21T22:21:52+00:00

Overall it's pretty good. Here's some critiques.

Man:

My [sappy adjective] [name], I choose you to be my wife.

Haha, awesome!

I swear to love you and to show you honor,

I ~~swear~~ vow...since these are vows and your yes should be yes and no be no. Not a biggie though.

To provide for you and to sanctify you by God's word,

As I submit to Christ and He sanctifies me...

so that I may present you to myself in splendor.

work in the parallel...as Christ sanctifies the Church and presents the Church to himself in splendor so I will also do this for/to you.....something of that nature. People might think this is selfish thinking without making you making the connection for them.

and we fulfill God's purpose together.

and you join my mission....Don't forget to make the parallel that we join Christ' mission when we become one flesh with Him.

and to be separated from you by nothing short of death.

nothing, but death.

Woman:

To support you with all my strength.

~~Strength~~ abilities. She is the weaker vessel. In more than one way.

To bring you blessings and to live a pure and reverent life,

so that I may draw you closer to Christ by my life.

Sounds a bit like she is the one that will be pushing you (subtle hint of leading IMO) to grow closer to God.

and we fulfill God's purpose together.

....I join your mission and purpose.

1 Pet 3:1-4 "wives... even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over... when they observe your pure, reverent lives."

I extrapolate this to imply that a godly wife can influence her husband/make it easier for him to be more godly.

This reasoning is contextually a LOT closer to a believing wife saving her husband via her godly behavior.

>and we fulfill God's purpose together.

"purpose together" - No direct scripture, somewhat inferred. All Christians have the purpose of making disciples (Matt 28:19), and wives are to be the helpers of their husband so she's joining in my purpose. I wish there was something more direct.

I could change this so I say "we fulfill my God-given purpose" and she says "we fulfill your God-given purpose" to be a little more precise.

Yep, change it. Noted earlier. Also, you might consider 1 Tim 2:13-14 and 1 Cor 11:7-9.

Red-Curious · 2019-03-26T01:01:37+00:00

Good stuff, for the most part. Just some things to consider:

I don't see anything in here about sexual denial or the importance of sexuality to your marriage covenant. If you want to sound all official-like you could say something like: "And as we consecrate these vows tonight, I vow to consecrate them to you every night and will not deprive you when you seek." 1 Cor. 7:5 is a good reference for that one. Your reference to 7:4 is weak, stopping short of the real meat there - and she could interpret "I give my body to you" in any other number of ways that would allow her to still deny you without breaking her vow. While I agree with /u/Deep_Strength that self-made vows are ultimately meaningless because she's going to break them anyway, that doesn't mean yo should make it easy on her by giving her plausible deniability - something women always look for in the first place. If it's there, she'll sniff it out and find it.
I also don't see any references to your actual mission. As /u/WarriorJesus1915 noted, you should clarify that she is to join you on your mission, just as you joined Christ on his. I would specifically spell this out by quoting the great commission in some capacity: "make disciples of all nations." This might be more of a challenge for you, if you haven't really adopted a clear mission yet or you don't even know what it means to make disciples (most likely because you are stuck with everyone else in assuming Jesus meant the church's vague notion of disciple-making rather than the specific strategy Jesus was referring to).
I don't see anything in here about the purpose of marriage. Malachi 2:15 says that the purpose of marriage is "to produce godly offspring." In light of the Gospel and passages like Romans 2 and 9, we now understand that the physical offspring of the old testament were a parallel to the spiritual offspring we would have through Christ. As such, the purpose of marriage is to make disciples (per the above), producing spiritual children, just as Paul called his disciples his "children" and Jesus said of those who were his disciples that they had to be "born again" as spiritual babies (Paul also references spiritual infancy). The physical children you will likely have are a guide meant to help you understand how to bear and raise spiritual children. This needs to be in there.

I'm out of time, but I hope that helps. These are just the most important things about marriage, so I wanted to make sure you didn't somehow miss them in your wedding. This all needs to be spelled out to a woman up-front, otherwise she will kick and scream: "This isn't what I signed up for" when you start living these things out.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-04-10T04:17:28+00:00

I.like them. If you have a wife who says and (tries to) fulfill them you have a winner imho.

Title	Biblical marriage vows
Author	PadlockHolmes
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	March 21, 2019 8:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/b3vlgu/biblical_marriage_vows/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/biblical-marriage-vows.301366 https://theredarchive.com/post/301366