I started my RP journey about 12 weeks ago when I first read STLSM by BluePillProfessor over at the Married Red Pill subreddit. I've been reading so much sidebar material, I haven't had time for much of anything else. I've learned alot and have already experienced some positive change in my marriage and most of all, in myself. I still have a long way to go.

Anyway, I have been an avid Bible student for many years, and the RP has made alot of things make sense in my Christian worldview, but it has also challenged some of what I thought was my Biblically-informed Christian values. I don't attribute any of the psychological explanations as a result of evolutionary progress for the survival of the human race. Screw evolution, I believe Genesis 1-3. I see most of it as God's design or a distortion of that design by way of the fall. So, This post is both assertions and questions. I hope some of you who have been RP for sometime can help me refine my thinking a bit. Here we go...

Affirmations

Frame A Woman is to enter a man's world, not vice versa. He is to be an emotional rock or oak for her to depend on. As a leader, he is to define the terms of the relationship and she is to submit to that. All of this is perfectly compatible with Christian marriage. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Submit means to arrange one's self under another. So, she is to arrange her world and her life within the frame of her husband.

Polygamy and Hypergamy: RP asserts that men are naturally polygamous and women are naturally hypergamous. On the surface based on human behavior and experience, I can see that. However, I think that these two characteristics are post-fall/curse. After the fall, the fundamental nature of human beings changed from the way God created and intended for them. Polygamy was one of the first sexual deviations from God's original intent that men engaged in. Hypergamy is also a fallen, sinful nature that characterizes women.

Mark 10:6-7 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife.

One man / one woman for life was God's design for a sexual strategy called marriage. It is still the best institution to curb the fallen tendencies of men and women. Yet the sexual revolution and feminism have attacked marriage and the institution itself is in a huge crisis.

Men are the Prize, not Women Marriage was created to give us language and personal experience of the love of God for His people. Thus the analogy is found in Ephesians and we as Christians follow it...

Ephesians 5:26-28 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

This passage is often quoted to re-enforce how husbands need to provide beta comforts to their wives. But the point of the passage is that Jesus is the prize for His bride. The church/bride is presented to HIMSELF after he has groomed her to become what pleases Him. The church is not Jesus' prize, Jesus is the church's prize. The idea of self-love preceding wife-love is seen here as well. The way we love ourselves is the standard for how we are to love our wives. Work on you, and she will respond.

Further, we see that Jesus prays that the church will enter into the joy of His glory: John 17:24 Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for you loved me before the foundation of the world.

This is Jesus, being the prize. He's our model. We are to be the prize for our ladies as well.

The initiating leadership of the husband is also seen in the actions of Jesus toward the church. John 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you...

Dread This one was a little harder to justify. But, I can see the concept in Revelation 2: Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.

Jesus tells His church, that their "first love", which would be equivalent to the attracted passion of a woman to her new husband, has grown cold. If she doesn't return to it, there will be consequences. This is not negotiated desire, because Jesus is perfectly attractive as a husband. His qualities never diminish like ours do. He doesn't need to develop a better MAP.

Could this be seen as an analogy of dread when we know that God divorced Israel, and has given Himself to the church of Gentiles?

Remember, in Jeremiah 3, God says that he "divorced" Israel: Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce. Romans 11:11 I say then, have they (Israel) stumbled that they should fall? Certainly not! But through their fall, to provoke them to jealousy, salvation has come to the Gentiles.

BluePillProfessor wrote in his book STLSM that in the Song of Solomon there is dread found in Song of Solomon 3:1-2 By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him.“I will rise now,” I said, “And go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love.” I sought him, but I did not find him. Solomon withdraws and she feels dread, looking for him in frantic desperation.

Although, I affirm the doctrine of perseverance of the saints and the assurance of salvation; I am not suggesting that Christ would threaten His bride with the loss of salvation as the same as dread. However, the loss of fellowship is certainly a threat if the church loses interest in her husband.

Questionable There are a couple of concepts that are common terms in the RP manosphere that I have a little bit of difficulty squaring with my Christian values. I'm wondering how to reconcile them.

Spinning Plates I like the idea of abundance mentality. Nothing wrong there. I also understand that even Rollo Tomassi says that you don't have to be f*ing your plates either. As a single man, no problem. However, as a married man, how does one justify spinning plates even if it doesn't involve sex. If a husband committed to the Biblical view of marriage is putting himself out there to provoke interest in other women, I can't see how that's allowable. Someone help me with that.

ONEitis I understand not being so needy, that the one woman that you're married to becomes your ultimate source of happiness, security, validation, etc.. No other person can do all that for you. I also buy in to the idea that there is not ONE special soul mate out there that was made for just you. Tim Keller says in his book The Meaning of Marriage that there are no perfectly compatible people and he rejects the whole "soul mate" idea as well. There are people that we are prohibited from marrying (unbelievers), but to say that there is only one that God has specially chosen just for you...I'm not so sure. There's many special someones that would make good wives and we just need to use wisdom and RP awareness when we're ready to pick one to settle down with.

However, my question or confusion lies in my disposition toward my wife. As a Christian, we are to view our wives as our only love until death do us part. We are not to emotionally share our affections with other women or even be open to that. Maybe I'm misunderstanding what not having Oneitis actually is. I have always made my wife the sole focus of my affection. Is that ONEitis?

Any of your collective wisdom would be appreciated!