FRs: Blue Pill Husbands Make Their Wives Miserable

Several times in the last year my wife has made a point to earnestly thank me for my leadership in our relationship. While this is not uncommon, certain instances stand out to me. These are a few of such memorable instances where my wife learned how bad Blue Pill husbands are and felt the need to share with me:

Betty the Bridesmaid

My wife was the Maid of Honor in a friend's wedding. During the course of the wedding my wife got to know the Bridesmaids fairly well. One of them, we'll call her Betty, confessed that she hadn't had sex with her newlywed husband in several months. Betty explained that she had dated several of her husband's friends, but none of them wanted to commit. Sensing her lack of options, she settled for and married her now-husband. Betty told the group of girls that she didn't find him attractive at all and only married him as a last resort. I had a chance to meet Betty and her husband at the wedding. He was your typical stick figure limp soy boy. He was a nice and funny guy, but I've met toilet paper made of sturdier stuff. Seeing them interact at the wedding it was obvious that she did not see him as a sexual person.

Problem: You can't negotiate attraction. If Betty could will herself to being sexually aroused by her husband, I firmly believe she would. It just doesn't work that way. Betty can no more force herself to get wet for her soy boy husband than you can force yourself to rod up a stiffy over Rosie O'Donald.

Solution: Lift bro. The only way he will get her to genuinely desire sex with him is to become more attractive and raise his SMV. Betty was gushing at one point about some celebrity hunk. She isn't asexual, but she is for her husband in his current state.

Lucy the Leader

My wife and some girls went out to get dessert and celebrate Lucy's birthday. Lucy's husband, Seth, leads a bible study at our church. Sort of. Lucy confided that she is frustrated, scared, and constantly disappointed that Seth doesn't really lead much of anything. He is uncomfortable taking initiative in life and tends to defer to her opinion. He volunteers for leadership roles in church, work, and elsewhere, but just barely manages to fulfill the role. It's evident to most everyone that he is only barely qualified to lead himself, let alone his wife and kids. Lucy desperately wants him to step up and actually take charge of family matters. She is exhausted and worried about finances, faith, and other important matters. Apparently Lucy had recently asked him if he wanted to have a third kid. He said he didn't know and that he was fine with whatever she decided. This was a breaking point for her. How could a man be so passive? She tries to give him chances to lead, but then becomes even more disappointed when he doesn't. She feels trapped.

Problem: Drunk Captain. Seth has no mission. Lucy sees that and is desperately hoping he will sober up and figure out how to Captain the ship. She wants to be a dutiful First Mate, but she knows she isn't equipped to shoulder the both roles of Captain and First Mate.

Solution: Seth needs to sober up, figure out what he wants in life, and Own His S***. He needs to develop frame and begin molding his life around him as he sees fit. Lucy will fight him if he does this. It's how women are and it's understandable. She has no reason to trust him to own his stuff until he has a proven track-record. If he can buckle up and power through they will be happier in the long run. If he doesn't, she will either leave, cheat, or become a resigned shell of a woman who he won't even recognize anymore.

Rachel the Rebel

Rachel worked with my wife and is part of a women's bible study together. She has been married to her husband Mack for several years and they have a few kids. Rachel recently vented to the bible study that she is struggling to keep a cheerful attitude with her husband. She explained that during their marriage, her husband has never once asked her to change, given her critical feedback, or expected her to improve. He loves her, "just the way she is" he often reminds her. Rachel is frustrated. She wants her husband to leader her, to push her, to demand more of her. Rachel embarrassingly confessed that she sometimes intentionally leaves messes around the house to see if her husband will get upset with her and tell her to clean up after herself. He doesn't. He just cleans up the mess and doesn't mention it to her. It makes her respect him less. She shared that she is concerned that her attitude with her husband is increasingly negative and hostile. I've met the husband at dinner once. He is a nice, funny, fairly attractive guy. Too nice actually.

Problem: Several, but largely frame. Women want to adopt the frame of a strong man. It gives them comfort, direction, and stability. It helps them find safe harbor during their crazy emotion storms. He isn't providing any of that. If he doesn't start leading and making demands of her, sooner or later she will get fed up with him and find herself drawn to someone who will. Or she will become a cat lady.

Solution: Read and implement NMMNG. Have a spine. He needs to not let crappy behavior go and to teach her how to be the wife he wants her to be. In short, he needs to husband her.

Nora the Non-Orgasmic

Nora has been married several years. She and her husband have a child. Nora shared with my wife that she had never had an orgasm in her life until after her child had been born. Years of marriage went by where she and her husband had semi-regular sex and she got nothing out of it but frustration. Presumably things are better now, but who knows?

Problem: WTF?

Solution: DEVI. Read a book. Try. His saving grace here was that Nora was a virgin and had no previous sexual experience at all. Women talk. Sooner or later she will learn that her husband is a chump in the bedroom and she is getting the short end of the stick unless he learns how to screw her properly.

Bottom line gents is that Blue Pill behavior makes women (and men) miserable. We are doing a service figuring this stuff out and spreading it around. Despite some of the flak we get, the churchianity folks out there are in desperate need of this help.