You probably heard about the Pastor from Hillsong Carl Lentz' affair. This was his mistress talking: https://nypost.com/2020/11/10/celebrity-pastor-carl-lentzs-alleged-mistress-ranin-tells-all/
Couple things come to mind immediately:
- He was actively looking for trouble and he found it. He asked for her number knowing he was a married man. Even worse, he hid it in his phone to cover it up - right out of King David's playbook.
- He needed a woman for validation. “He’s a professional narcissist” she says. And a narcissist who needed constant validation from the church, celebrities and women.
- He's addiction to Dopamine. “He hadn’t been doing anything for so many months, he hadn’t been onstage, what else was going on in his life? He needed to do something that would excite him.” she said. This is the problem with men who are addiction to money, fame, social media, alcohol, drugs, working out, porn, texting or any other dopamine producing activity. Spending time with his wife of 17 years and 4 kids, or spreading the gospel wasn't enough to satisfy his dopamine addiction. Once Satan gets his hooks in you with dopamine, you need supernatural help with rehab.
- She had every intention of ruining his life and career. He had more to lose than she did, she had more to gain than him. She was calculating and manipulative from the beginning. After he left, she paid an app to do a background check based on his phone number. “Everything came out,” she said. “It hit me so hard.” Once she realized he was famous, she didn't care if he was fat and bald, the rush was the goal to own him and bring him down.
- He kept up the facade. During their 5 month long affair, he was still the perfect daddy, doting husband, and strong confident church leader. His wife's instagram and his own account is full of photos of his ministries and flowery, biblical language because even in the midst of horrendous sin, he kept playing the role he was taught to play.
- 1 year ago Pastor Carl and his wife had marital "issues" and decided to renew their rocky marriage with regular date nights, committing to spending more time together and other very good ideas that the self-help marriage books tell you to do. They even hosted a marriage conference where they mentioned their marriage growing distant and their efforts to make it better.
Takeaways: This didn't happen by accident and it wasn't a one time mistake. It didn't blindside him and come out of nowhere. This was a series of hundreds of small decisions over the last few years that culminated in a life-changing sin. Pride is the sin that tells us we need validation, Pride tells us we need excitement outside our mission to make disciples. Pride says their is nothing wrong with being friends with a women who is not your wife because you have self control and wont let it become sinful. And pride is what causes a man to act like a Godly leader on the outside while having an extramarital sexual relationship for 5 long months.
I hope Pastor Carl turns out like King David and repents and does wonderful things with his life. God uses sinful mistakes in people's lives for his glory.