You’re nervous.

That’s it. If you’re nervous, you’re in her frame.

This observation applies to any situation involving a woman. Whether you haven’t even approached her, plating her, dating her, or married to her, it doesn’t matter; if you’re nervous, you’re in her frame.

The reason for your anxiety around her is thus: Your masculine instinct is telling you that something is dreadfully wrong. Men are built to lead women. Women are built to be followers/helpers of men. If this order is broken, or you believe it'll be broken (approach anxiety) your instincts will tell you.

Take a moment to reflect on your past interactions with women. Whenever you’re confident, strong, and your masculine-self, chances are you’re not nervous at all and your relationships with women are great. However, when you’re nervous, the relationship or interaction is falling apart because she’s in control.

Women are not built to be in control. Women are built to be led. If you forget this and let her take control or submit to her frame, your instincts will punish you in the form of anxiety.

Disclaimer: The following example is taken from when I was dating as an agnostic, however, it illustrates my point well.

I was at a family gathering with my now ex-girlfriend. I was sitting at the table scrolling through the photos on my phone and I scrolled past a nude photo of a girl I was dating before her that I forgot I had. But of course, she was looking over my shoulder and saw it.

“Woah woah, scroll up.”

I felt my stomach flip and my heart sink. I didn’t want her to cause a scene in front of her family.

Read that sentence again. I didn’t want her to cause a scene in front of her family.

I was in her frame. Realizing this I quickly got back into my frame, scrolled up, tapped the photo, and said,

“This? She’s pretty cute huh?” I was still nervous, but was regaining composure rapidly. I was getting myself together and thus pulling her back into my frame. I changed my focus from her and her family to me, my masculinity, and my dignity.

She gave me the silent treatment and kept drinking beer. I got up and enjoyed the food her family prepared. After a while, she asked me if I wanted to “get some air.” We excused ourselves, went outside, and I answered her questions honestly. She confessed how insecure she felt because the woman in the photo was "so much prettier than her" and I "deserve better." She was thoroughly back in my frame. I comforted her through kino and reassured her that she was good enough for me or else I wouldn't be dating her.

When I look back upon all of my relationships I see this trend; I was only nervous if I was in her frame and being led/controlled by her. The instant I gripped back the reins of the relationship (as men should do) the anxiety went away and the relationship became joyous.

So the next time you’re nervous around a woman just know the following…

You’re in her frame and you need to get out of it.

You’re a man.

Act like one.

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Closing Statement: In the past, I wrote posts dedicated to fornication. I do not condone fornicating anymore, however, the posts will remain up for people who believe they can learn from them. Sooner or later I will talk about my conversion to Christianity. And yes, I got rid of all the nudes on my phone.