This is a true story.

I’ve been married to this guy for a little over 5 years now. Let’s call him Dick.

Life married to Dick started in 2015. He and I have two children (4 yo and 1 mo).

It was January 2020, I was 1.5 months pregnant when Dick decides to quit his job (without discussing it with me). I bit my tongue and waited for him to get a job. Finally, mid April, he got a job. During his job hunt, I had terrible morning sickness so I stayed at my mom’s most of my first trimester and to be away from him (he is very angry when stressed). During this time, I was working on a school project and my laptop wouldn’t let me convert something, so I decided to drop by home, use Dick’s laptop, and pick up a rug that I ordered. I pull up to the house and DUN DUN DUN Holly’s car is parked in the driveway. Holly’s a church member that has been hanging out with Dick for some time now (I had no idea until a month after I decided to vent to my church elder and Kid #1 chimed in and told me that they went to Chuck-E-Cheese and McDonald’s playground together). After all this, I still go on with life as it is. All I could do was complain. 1) I was finishing up my credential program (2nd career move), 2) my mom being super Christian, 3) I was in shock/denial? Baby on the way, no energy? I don’t know what emotion I was feeling. I was becoming very short with him and then he tells me he wants a divorce. This is my chance out (according to the Bible), so I agree. We agreed to talk through things and be as civil as possible for the sake of the children and I didn’t need any extra stress on Baby. He and I agreed to give me full custody, $ per child, and help with down payment. He dragged out getting a down payment since April and so I took matters into my own hand. I started trying to get things taken care of. Knowing I will need a job to pay mortgage, I took a job in August and didn’t take any time off even after Baby was born. Now that I’m getting things moving, he’s changed his mind about EVERYTHING. He’s talking like I’m crazy when he and I both have the texts to prove that he’s full of it.

Baby is born! The day of, I was dropped off at the hospital and had Baby. I didn’t want him there nor did he say anything. He receives soc sec card in the mail last week and keeps asking me who gave Baby’s middle name. Dick is bugging me about this because he says it’s tradition to have his dad come up with the middle name. His nagging is like 5 girls nagging while on their period. It’s no joke annoying af! He accuses me of letting my dad name Baby’s middle name and states that I took a right away from his dad. Dick didn’t bring this up to me during my entire pregnancy and so I ask him how I was suppose to know that he wanted to be a part of anything Baby when he’s been going around with Holly.

I just want to get away from this psycho! 5 years of him has drained me. This man child will be better off with someone who can love him better. I am not the one. Why is everyone still telling me to pray, to read the Bible more, and to listen for God’s voice? I prayed for 5 months to hear His voice and read Matthew over and over again to get some answers. Nothing. What was suppose to happen? Was my heart suppose to change? Was I suppose to grow spiritually and forgive him and love him like God loves us?