Reposting this from married rp, they suggested that I come here for advice. Editing my original post for language.

Hey guys. I am not married but I have a LTR in the works; sadly I am at a crossroads and unsure of how to proceed from here, because the relationship isn't smooth nor progressing in the direction I'd wish.

Backstory: I'm soon to be 32, she is 30, together for almost 5 months now. I am 1.92 tall, on a good career path, financially self reliant, an introvert with impulsive tendencies, critical and sometimes preachy, not the most disciplined and easy going dude out there. I have strong Christian values which have been an incentive in the past years to sort myself out and I have made good progress but still a ways to go. Fighting a predisposition to melancholy is no easy feat especially after my father's death less than 2 years ago. My goals are to marry a woman with similar Christian values and start a family together.

The plot twist is that my girlfriend doesn't share these values and is in many ways my polar opposite. She likes to party, hang around with her girlfriends, hop bars & co although to my knowledge she has been loyal and I have no reason to doubt her. But our relationship is often rocky, with many conflicts stirred out of nothings. I am frustrated with her ways, I often criticise her behavior in an impulsive, unkind manner, then she gives me the cold shoulder and we gotta start over again. She also does nice things for me and has somewhat settled a bit since we are together. We have good days and bad days. Despite everything, I care for her a lot, I believe she has great potential to be a long time partner. And I told her I loved her.

Disk scratch She didn't reciprocate. She told me she has a colder heart, which needs time to really know someone before she warms up to love. Right now I'd kick myself for dropping the love bomb too soon but what is done is done. She sometimes has hissy fits and acts jealous though it all appears to be overdramatic and theatrical. I do not currently have other romantical prospects.

I can feel that her respect for me wilters and I can't blame her. I have only spoked about this to my 36 yo sister (married with children) who is a psychiatrist. She told me to stay out of my girlfriend's frame and improve myself, no longer react emotionally to the shallow displays of affect of others, to develop a steady frame of my own and focus on other things. Basically stop being petty. Being insecure and impulsive this will be one heck of a task that I do not know where to begin to tackle. She suggested getting into fitness or martial arts or finding a hobby. Another issue was that she sees no future for this relationship and thinks I'm dissonant for not picking the kind of woman with more traditional values from our religious circles, if I say I want a family. She is not entirely wrong but the heart wants what the heart wants.

I am also bummed because although we've already met each other's families and it went well, my girlfriend would be perceived by anyone in my circles as lesser value and a wrong choice of woman for me. "Immature, shallow, chaotic, waste of time". It hurts to hear this because I do love her and I want to make this work long term. Life long.

I realize I am so hopelessly deep into her frame, completely owned like a tool at the moment, a thrall that feels like shit. I need advice to pull myself together. I know I can't change her through criticism and preaching, nor am I the best example of a balanced, well rounded Christian when we have arguments. But I'm willing to put in the work and get better and maybe at some point she will turn as well, if I become the man to guide her.

But dear Lord I am at a loss where to start.