I don't want to be miserable anymore. This is causing me issues holding me back in life. No matter which ways I try to serve her she is never happy and she complains when I do exactly what she wants. She has the complete inability to point out what exactly is making her unhappy so I can only assume its me. She refuses counseling and is already taking anti-depressants and is her own person. I want to do the Godly thing so I'm looking for advice because I can't go to church right now and I am the most wise person in my life which is not good. I am making the assumption here that my actions actually matter to God. I dont want to continue in sin and break the laws of marriage or adultry. I dont want to go to hell abandonment so if I do leave my wife I want to do it correctly by providing financial support. I would be living in a really small cheap apartment for as long as possible until the improvement of her mental health or until I catch her cheating again. She isn't going to be doing that anymore according to her but I still don't trust her because I don't understand why she thinks I am always being mean to her. She can never tell me what I did wrong and I replay these scenarios in my head to try and figure out what I could have done or said to make her upset and nothing makes sense other than she is just starting fights because she is unhappy. The very moment I leave my home and start praying my productivity goes through the roof, my depression and sloth goes away, I exceed at work even in the face of extreme competition, but when I go home I feel like a perpetual failure. I dont need advice consider this a rant because I know there is no help for me.
Mission: I dont need a women for anything. I have no mission in life.
Stats: 235lbs body fat near 30%, injured for about 3 years now. Partially disabled. Need HRT but I can't financially afford it right now. Bodyweight exercises are heavy for me due to lack of range of motion causing severe muscular imbalances.
Reading: I think I've read the whole sidebar?
Finances: Currently a medical cannabis grower and processer. Soon to open a dispensary and some food trucks. Right now we are waiting on harvests and licensing. Big plans this year.
Spirituality: I pray everyday and read the Bible but not as much as I feel forcefully compelled that I should. And I'm not sure how God feels about this.
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