I've been trying to stop engaging in a fetish I've had for 2+ years. For 2+ years I've been in a cycle of PMO to fetish, feeling ashamed, shy and nervous, and doubtful for about a week, get urges, not want to relapse but follow the will of my body. For most of this 2+ years the fetish has caused extremely detrimental damage to my life. I stopped going to school because it made me so nervous after I relapsed. I was diagnosed with psychosis, but the real cause of my psychosis was PMO. I had a huge problem with obsession after PMO. I could not stop doubting my faith, overthinking every thought that came into my head, forcefully trying to be masculine among other things. When I go 7+ days without PMO I feel amazing. Deeper voice, more confident and assertive, way less obsessive.

I'm wondering if anyone has advice here about how to help me. There is something in my mind (demons) that really want me to keep PMOing and feeling ashamed. Every direction I turn I seem to hit a brick wall where I end with PMO. I work out for a week, something in me (demons) inspires anxiety so I have no appetite to eat after I work out, then I have nightmares that night because of it, and this creates a series of events detrimental to my life. I need to stop PMOing.

I have another question as well. Is it wrong to rebuke my parents when they're being immoral? I know you're supposed to honor your parents, which I had barely been doing until recently, probably has a lot to do with my problems, but is it wrong to rebuke them if I see them doing something immoral? I don't understand the dynamic of parent and child. It might just be my family but I am well aware of the fact that I don't respect them as I should.