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Own Your Slice: 7/26

July 26, 2017
5 upvotes

There was some discussion as to whether or not there will be regular official "OYS" threads here. On one hand, it seems beneficial to post in existing RP subs where there are many active participants ready to rip you a new orifice. On the other, there are some things that only pertain to Christians (such as family worship, personal bible study, prayer, etc.) that would be lost on the heathens (mostly kidding).

Since there is no official stance at this time, I am going to throw this out there for my own benefit and for the benefit of anyone else who chooses to participate. I don't pretend to represent anyone other than myself here so take it or leave it as you will.


OYS

As Christians we recognize that God is sovereign. By definition, this sovereignty means that everything ultimately belongs to Him (Hebrews 2:10, Psalm 24:1).

Like Adam we are each given a garden to tend. Beginning with ourselves and extending outward, we each have a slice of the Kingdom of God to steward (Genesis 2:15).

Whether it is how you manage your body, finances, family, or dog, you will have something you will answer to God for (Romans 14:12). This is our chance to examine both our successes and failures in order to become good and faithful servants (Matthew 25:23).

Unlike Adam, do not blame your failures on others and make excuses. Like Christ, take accountability for everything that happens within your domain.

Gentlemen, Own Your Slice.

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Post Information
Title Own Your Slice: 7/26
Author OsmiumZulu
Upvotes 5
Comments 7
Date July 26, 2017 9:55 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RPChristians
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/own-your-slice-726.302196
https://theredarchive.com/post/302196
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/6pn0o7/own_your_slice_726/
Comments

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Tulip Peddler | Married 6y[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fitness

Grade: B-

Since moving I have been out of the gym for a couple weeks. There is a great gym less than a mile from my new place that I will be going to next month. They wave initiation fees on the first Friday of every month so I am saving a bit by waiting. The only reason I am not giving myself a lesser grade is because I started biking to work and I was at the point of needing a break anyhow. My elbows give me issues from time to time and I don't want to injure myself. Focusing on winning for the long haul.

Spiritual

Grade: C

I do well studying the word on my own, but suck at leading my wife in it. I've lead great Bible studies, preached a few times, and feel very comfortable with apologetic conversations, but for some reason leading my wife in this area does not come naturally. Any advice or rebuke here would be appreciated. I need it.

Career/Finances

Grade: A

Killing it at work and have been for a long time. I earn more than most and far more than my peers age-wise. No debt and healthy savings. My wife has been in full-time school for the last several years and hasn't been working. Most of her peers are deeply in debt and stress about money constantly. I manage the finances 100% and she completely trusts and defaults to my leadership here.

Sex

Grade: A-

My wife has been 100% receptive to my initiation. I am trying but can't remember the last time my wife turned me down for sex. Well over a year ago. She is about as often as me to be the one to initiate, I'd say about 40/60. The only time we go more than a couple days without sex is shark week (despite her wanting to) or the occasional yeast infection. Quality is solid. I give it an A- because, while she is down with just about everything I want to do, she still isn't the one to push her own boundaries.

Time Management / Distractions*

Grade: C+

Here I am on Reddit when I could be sleeping and getting ready to seize tomorrow by the testicles. In all seriousness, I need to figure out a more consistent sleep schedule so I can get more done during the day.

[–]rocknrollchuckMod | 50M | Married 11 yrs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I do well studying the word on my own, but suck at leading my wife in it. I've lead great Bible studies, preached a few times, and feel very comfortable with apologetic conversations, but for some reason leading my wife in this area does not come naturally.

What has worked for me is just getting on a reading plan and reading together as a family. You don't mention kids, so if it's just the two of you then start with one chapter a day where you read out loud and she follows along. It will be awkward at first, but eventually she will ask questions when you get to certain verses. I usually stop after reading certain verses and ask my son to restate what the verse said in his own words, correcting him if he doesn't get it right. This has proved to be incredibly helpful, and my wife follows right along. I put a small dry erase board right near the couch where I would see it every day, and that has our readings on it for the week. I find that SHE reminds ME when it's time, although I don't forget. She's just excited to get to it.

Edit: Start with the gospel of John and just try one chapter per day, you will be surprised. And don't be shocked when things "mysteriously" come up to try and derail your reading time.

[–]Red-CuriousMod | 34M | Married 11 yrs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any advice ...

Find someone to disciple you. I cannot possibly overestimate the importance of personal one-on-one discipleship to your faith. Imagine if Athol or Rollo lived near you and agreed that they'd meet with you every week for an hour for free! not only to teach you everything they know about being RP, but also to help you implement it, invite you into their homes so you can watch them how they implement it, etc. Wouldn't that be amazing?

99% likely you have someone in your immediate sphere of connections who is the spiritual equivalent of Athol or Rollo. Go find that person. The great news is that these guys are so passionate about helping others grow for Christ and lead faith-based relationships that they don't only consider it their duty in Christ to do this for free - it is where they find their greatest joy! (3 John 1:4 and all).

The hard part is finding someone who's going to be intentional and proactive with you about discipleship and not reactive, letting you run the show on how you want to be discipled (compare that to your wife trying to run the show on how she wants you to lead her). But I've found that most men can actually overcome this trait if they are godly enough and you're forward enough.

[–]rocknrollchuckMod | 50M | Married 11 yrs0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fitness / Diet

Grade: B

I've been hitting the gym religiously (heh) 3X per week, every week, without missing a day. StrongLifts has been awesome, the compound lifts really increased my strength and size. We went back east a few weeks ago to visit our son and his family for 10 days. He's 26, a Certified Personal Trainer, and ripped with 10% BF. He set me up with a better routine than I've been doing, and it's really made me sore and I've seen some gains already so I know it's working.

I asked him about diet and said "I'm doing pretty well with eating, but it's always the desire for snacks on the weekend (late in the evening) that seem to derail me. I know I need to be strict until I get to the BF I want (12% or less - I'm 21% right now), but is there a place at all for snacks?" He said something I'll never forget: "There's a place for snacks - when you're lean. When you're lean, your body can handle them. You'll get there, but the less snacks you eat the sooner you'll get there. That's when you can enjoy the occasional snack." A light bulb went on for me when he said that. When I came back home, I started slowly reducing my calories. My TDEE is 2,436, and I've been averaging 2,300 per day before vacation. I've dialed it down, and so far I'm averaging 1,800 per day this week.

Spiritual

Grade: B

My Pastor really encourages us to read the Bible through once per year, every year. My church hands out a reading plan at the beginning of the year, and this is our third year going through it. I've read the Bible through about 15 times overall, so I'm pretty familiar with it. I bought an 8-1/2 X 11" dry erase board that I hung in our living room, and I write our Scripture readings for the week on it along with a memory verse. We read together almost every night, with me reading out loud and my family following along.

My Pastor has also had me teach his men's Bible study a few times. I've spent a lot of time learning different apologetics topics (I have over 2,000 documents saved on a flash drive that are faith-based) so I can provide something of value on almost any Biblical topic.

My prayer life is weak, however. I pray every morning on the way to work, but that's it. I need to Own My Slice in this area, no doubt.

Frame

Grade: B-

My frame has been decent. My wife fitness tests me regularly, usually about my mom (she's 80 and lives with us) and our son. He's 15, a good kid, but has kind of a smart mouth toward her sometimes. Honestly, she brings it out of him by being harsh with him all the time. I've taken a firm approach toward him as far as discipline, but I'm trying to help him think for himself and do the right thing so I don't discipline as much as she thinks I should. I've given him copies of many of the recommended books on the MRP sidebar, and he's devoured all of it so far.

With my mom, she just cannot accept her living with us - even though we talked several times and she fully agreed at the time. My biggest challenge here is just to SHUT UP and not engage the hamster. I'm doing a lot better, and she hasn't gotten me many times recently, but I need improvement in this area.

As far as Amused Mastery and Agree & Amplify, I'm still hit or miss in that area. I'm still working on the mindset of not letting it affect me, but I'm not there yet by any means.

Career/Finances

Grade: C

I've been at my current job for 7 years, and only worked 2 places total in the last 20 years. I know I can make more elsewhere, but I've prayed about it and the Lord told me He wants me to stay put for now. I make a decent amount of money, but would definitely like to make more. My wife is very frugal, and I'm good with keeping track of and paying the bills on time, so we do pretty well with what we have been given. My wife also works 30 hours per week at a local church, so that definitely helps. I only have my car and our house to pay off, all other debt has been paid (Dave Ramsey fan here).

Sex

Grade: B+

My wife has always been willing to give me what I need, no question. But she is very shy about initiating. She does all the things I like including oral / swallowing (hope that's ok to say here), and is always very enthusiastic once she gets going. The only time I've ever gotten starfish in 9 years of marriage is if she's tired and I'm really horny - probably less than 10 times total. I'm 48 and she's 55, so we definitely don't have as much sex drive as we did when we were younger, but I'm pretty happy with the sex except for her lack of initiation.

Time Management / Distractions

Grade: C+

My work schedule is 6 am to 6 pm Mon-Thu, and 6-2ish on Friday with weekends off. That doesn't leave me a lot of time, but I make the best of what I have. Sometimes I feel like during the week it's wake up, go to work, work, come home, eat, shower, spend an hour or so with my family, go to bed. But per my comment above, I'm waiting on the Lord as far as what to do regarding work. And I'll wait as long as necessary, but I wish He would give me a position with more money and less hours :)

[–] points points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]rocknrollchuckMod | 50M | Married 11 yrs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's the routine - each exercise I paired is supersetted together, the numbers listed are the reps per set:

Day 1. - Shoulders & Arms

  • Warmup 5-10 min on Elliptical or Treadmill

  • Overhead Press 15/12/10/8

  • Shrugs 15/12/10/8

  • Dumbbell Side Raises 15/12/10/8

  • Rear Delt Fly 20/15/12/10

  • Standing Dumbbell Curls 15/12/10

  • Dumbbell Tricep Extension 15/12/10

  • Hammer Dumbbell Curls 15/12/10

  • Tricep Cable Extension (rope) 15/12/10

  • Barbell Curl 15/12/10

  • Tricep Cable Pushdown (handle) 15/12/10

Day 2. - Chest & Back

  • 5-10 min warmup on Elliptical or Treadmill
  • Decline Press Machine 15/12/10/8
  • Pull-Ups - 4 sets (as many as possible per set)
  • Barbell Bench Press 15/12/10/8
  • Barbell Row 15/12/10/8
  • Cable Crossovers 20/15/12/10
  • Dumbbell Row (1 Arm to Hip) 20/15/12/10
  • Lat Pull-Downs (shoulder-width grip) - 20/15/12/10
  • Rowing Machine (cardio) 30 sec at max effort / 90 sec at slow "resting" speed - 8 sets
  • Stair Climber Machine - 10-30 min

Day 3. - Legs & Abs

  • Warmup for 5-10 min on Elliptical or Treadmill
  • Squats - barbell 20/15/12/10
  • Deadlift 5/5/5
  • Ab Complex - 20/15/12 for each of these three exercises:

-The Reach - Lie on back, Straight up reach with both arms, lifting your back off the floor slightly for each rep

-Leg Raise - hold onto a frame/post above your head and raise your legs up/down without touching the floor

-Mason Twist - use medicine ball, sit on floor, feet raised in the air, twist with the ball from side to side

  • Leg Extension Machine 20/15/12

  • Leg Curl Machine 20/15/12

  • Ab Crunch Incline Bench - 4 sets of sit-up crunches on an incline bench

  • Leg Press Machine 20/15/12

  • Calf Raises on Leg Press 20/15/12

  • Stair Climber Machine - 10-30 min

  • Bicycle 15 min.

Start at a light weight for the first set of each exercise, increase 5 lbs for each set. Don't go too heavy - you should be more concerned with getting the form perfect than with how much weight you are using. Move up in weight each time you do that routine, for each exercise, until the last set is as challenging as you can handle without sacrificing form.

[–]Red-CuriousMod | 34M | Married 11 yrs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

FITNESS/DIET

Grade: A

I'm around 17% BF, but have come down from 27% in the last 5 months (lost over 40lbs so far). I'm lifting 5 days/wk and cardio 6/wk (only for 20 minutes on days I also lift). I take one Sabbath per week. I've jacked up my protein intake and simplified my meals. I probably still eat out a little too much, but have cut virtually all of my snacks down to Whole30 approved (i.e. fruits/veggies, unflavored meats/jerky ... that's about it). Portion control has been insanely better than in the past too.

SPIRITUAL

Grade: A-

I usually gauge my spiritual health by the 7 basics. This deserves a post of its own, but the basic concept is that there's always 2-3 that should be really strong; 2-3 that should be fairly weak, and 2-3 that are just in flux at any given time - and which falls where should be rotating as God leads (for most men I've discipled, that ends up being around every 6-12 months):

  • Gospel Engagement: 5/10 - I tend to make big breakthroughs, then taper off in how I understand the application of the Gospel to daily living. My last "breakthrough" was about 3 weeks ago and I haven't revisited this aspect of my faith recently, still coasting off the revelation from the last time.

  • Quiet Time: 10/10 - I'm loving my daily time with God. It usually involves Scripture and prayer, but mostly just enjoying God's company.

  • Bible Study: 10/10 - I'm one of the volunteer writers for gotquestions.org, so I'm constantly getting interesting questions that stem further study. I'm also constantly being asked to produce new content for my church, which really engages me in the Word. I've scaled my involvement in other Christian subs here back quite a bit since discovering RP and creating this account, but still participate in that angle of Scriptural study and discussion periodically as well.

  • Scripture Memory: 1/10 - 2 months ago this would have been 10/10. Last month was mostly a review month. Now I'm in an off month, although I still keep fluent with my mastery of Scripture in my heart by frequently testing myself with passages that would apply to daily life situations (even if I never announce verbally in the conversation what I'm doing).

  • Prayer: 7/10 - Praying with each of my kids individually (as well as collectively) has really prompted me to engage with God in different ways and has revitalized my own personal prayer life. That said, frequency of my personal prayer life could use improvement, although quality has gone up as I've learned to spend more time just listening, as my kids have taught me this through their incessant: "I just want to hear Jesus talk!"

  • Evangelism: 2/10 - I've still got some non-Christians I'm engaging with periodically, but a lot of these relationships have slowed down due to the business of summer. I tend to have a much easier time connecting with neighbors and co-workers outside of work during fall/winter. That said, I'm starting to build relationships at the gym, now that I'm there frequently. So, maybe this is a new avenue, nixing the "where you work, where you live" for "where you play" (the WLP trifecta).

  • Fellowship: 4/10 - I cancelled my small group back in February because everyone was ready to start leading their own small groups (3 of the 4 couples actively are now). Instead, I'm helping run a new "planning committee" for a 2-day seminar on internal healing, but this "committee" has turned out to be more of a fellowship group than anything (I'm usually the one who has to keep us on task). I'm still meeting with other believers periodically, but nowhere near as often as when I was leading a small group. Also, I used to disciple my pastor, but haven't seen him for a few months since he went on a sabbatical, so that's still kind of weak.

CAREER/FINANCES

Grade: C-

I'm getting apathetic. I go in cycles. I recently finished a major trial that my boss threw on me at the last minute without giving me any real prep time. Once that finished, I needed to take a break, but had a bunch of other stuff slam me that I had been putting off (having a new baby just before all this didn't help either). So, now I'm in "I don't want to do anything" mode. I control my own hours, so instead of a 9am start time, I'm hopping in at 10:30 or 11, rationalizing that I just got over a huge hump and caught up on most of my stuff, so I don't have as much to keep me busy now. Sure, there are a few things that could get done, but they're not time-pressing, so I'm starting to feel lazy. I have another trial next month that'll kick me out of this lull in about a week, but I should probably start now. Nevertheless, the paychecks are still great ... just got a client to pay on her back bill, which was pretty large, so that's going to be a sizeable paycheck in a couple weeks.

FRAME

Grade: B

My wife is testing me much less often, which is a positive. I feel like I'm passing the tests. My biggest need for growth here is in learning to delegate and making my wants/needs clearer. I'm effectively standing my ground (playfully) against her efforts to take charge, but I'm still reluctant to tell her to do things that matter to me. I've rationalized this as OYS - if I want it done, it's my responsibility; it's not her responsibility to make me happy or cut up a melon that I'm going to eat and she won't. I need to get over that mentality without being demanding. My go-to techniques are A&A and fogging/broken record, both which work perfectly for my wife.

SEX

Grade: B-

Coming up from an F as recently as 3 months ago, this B- is actually something I'm pretty proud of. For the first time in years, she's responsive to physical touch and actually engaging back. She still has very strong boundary issues, and there are physical limitations right now due to her post-op recovery from giving birth, but as of lately the bad streak is over. We're also talking more openly about sex, which helps a lot. She still comments that she's worried my expectations will be too high come Monday, when PIV is back on the table, and brings up excuses about going back on the pill and breast feeding messing with her hormones, mostly trying to buffer the increased energy we're both experiencing with her expectations that returning to our prior DB ways feels inevitable to her (we've had small good patches before that didn't last) ... but I accept there is a real truth to a lot of it as well, especially the birth control part - that usually just kills her libido. I didn't even know she was planning on going back on birth control until she mentioned it in passing today ... will have to talk to her about this soon. The vasectomy consult today also raised some interesting conversation (including the passive comment about birth control).

TIME MANAGEMENT/DISTRACTIONS

Grade: A-

But for the stuff I put in my work section, I'd give myself an A+. I've never been so productive outside of work than I have been in the last few months. My home is improving and I've been reading and re-reading so much it's been insane. Rather than tiring out, like I expected, all the lifting has actually motivated me. I used to be a TV junkie, but noticed that after a few weeks of abandoning almost all TV, I don't even care anymore (to my chagrin, I still watch Big Brother with my wife - it's her "thing").

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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