July update: https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/94j9dj/phils_july_update/

Stats

  • Weight: 233 -> 225
  • DL: 330 -> 350
  • Squat: 225 -> 250
  • OHP: 160 -> 165
  • Bench: 190 -> 195

The Ugly

  • After “ending” things with my oneitis (https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/98mspp/question_about_trying_to_love_and_be_there_for/), I’ve been doing a lot better, but there is still a lot of times that I find myself falling into a habit or making a decision based on the old order. And the times I do I regret it immensely as a whole. And while I’m recognizing this and working on it, looking at it from the front, I feel like this time will be different. So I guess that I’m struggling lining up doing what I know in my head is best for me, versus what my wicked heart wants.
  • I am still having a severe problem making the healthy choice over spending time with people (e.g. sleep, eating out, activities when I should be studying, etc). I guess in my head the argument is that all these things I’m working towards won’t last, where with people I can try to have some positive impact on them. Basically, I feel guilty for going off and doing my own thing, or not spending time with people when an opportunity arises.
  • I’m finding I have a lot creative hobbies/ideas that I want to pursue, but I am unsure of how to go about doing it, and which ones are even worth doing. If I should focus on all of them, just one of them, or none of them.
  • I find I am talking a lot for no reason, saying things for no reason, and just overall saying things to fill a conversation when I really have nothing to say about something or to someone. A lot of people are saying I’m closed off and repressed.

The Handsome

  • Combined with my increased time in the word, I finished 2 books in July: Principles, and The Measure of a Man. I’ve been listening to almost no music during my commute and instead doing audiobooks.
  • Mentally I feel a lot more stable and at peace. There’s not as many highs any more, but also not many serious lows. and I prefer that for some reason.
  • I don’t have any other specifics at this point. I just overall feel in a lot better place. And in some cases it’s true, but on the other hand, a lot of other aspects in my life have actually gotten worse. I guess the lease and the perspective I have towards them is shifting, and as a result they haven’t drug me down as much as they would have before.

God bless!