Stats: 6'1 220, somewhere around 325, 445, 495 bench/squat/dead. Bodyfat is under 20 but above 15. I have a good paying job, but the work is terrible, so I'm actively job-hunting. Currently my mission is clear, I need to build myself up in Christ and form a stronger relationship with God in preparation for the next stage of my life which will likely take me into the government sector. I also feel a strong calling to help out guys I perceive as whimpy, I currently 'mentor' 2 guys in lifting, and I got both of them to stop watching porn. The feeling I get from seeing them get stronger is amazing. Still haven't gotten them to come to church, but I think the one guy is close.

Theres a girl at the gym who works out every day the same time that I do. She's so hot that I've decided I won't even look at her because its my best defense against impure thoughts or actions. She dresses in basically nothing, and what she has on is skin tight. Not the kind of woman I hope to marry. We've talked a few times before in passing, and we both play volleyball. Today as I was squatting, she squatted in the rack next to me and we had a short conversation, in which she mentioned she is going to a volleyball game at a local university and she asked if I wanted to go.

I told her I am busy this weekend (which is not a lie, but if she were a christian I would be the free-est man in the world), and just kind of kept lifting, leaving it at that. Secretly hoping she would either gain 100lbs or spontaneously turn into a wildebeast so my raging hormones would not melt through my skull. I left without saying anything, because I am not sure how to most effectively turn her down if she asks me to do something else in the future.

Thinking simply, the most appropriate response would be to say "I'm not interested in a relationship, I'm a christian and in my experience dating non-christian girls causes me to compromise my morals". In reality, I don't want to come off as a judgmental prick, and maybe she just wants to be friends (or at least will hold to that plausible deniability). The implication there is that she is too morally deficient for me to date her. Which, while true, is maybe not the best way to express it. How would Christ handle that situation? Its almost certain he had to handle similar things.

Sitting at my desk, now, though, all I can think about is how single I am, and how lonely I feel. The verse I am meditating on strongly recently is Hebrews 10:23 - Hold fast to the confession of your faith, for he who promised is faithful. The implications of that verse are so far reaching and give me a lot of strength at times when I am plagued by doubt. I quite literally 'burn with passion', and ask God every day for the right woman to come along, but my search for a godly proverbs 31 wife has been fruitless.

Maybe I just needed to vent a bit, brothers, because I am already feeling a bit better.