The first time I asked myself “Hey how are you doing?” I welled up in tears.

It was something I needed someone to ask me, but no one was asking it at the right time, and I didn’t trust the people who did ask the obligatory “Hows it going?”

Time to have a conversation with yourself. Get yourself whole again by putting it out on the table and speaking the Truth into your own heart, mind, soul.

As Christians we’re often taught the practice of conversing with God: prayer, and listening to Him. But not often do we hear the idea of self dialogue taught.

Shame causes us to have negative self talk that ends up being a pattern of behavior that we don’t even notice anymore because it’s so common. Positive thinking, meditation and positive self-talk are common concepts to combat this, but what I’m proposing is a little more in-depth.

Sit down and have a conversation with yourself, knowing that God is present.

“How are you doing?”
“What can I help with?”
“What are you feeling?”

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Ps 43:5

Speak the Truth to your own soul like David did.
Self-examination is a remedy for self-absorption.
Preaching the gospel to oneself is to bring redemption to the deepest part of you.
Re-align your shifted self and free yourself to come out of yourself and live fully.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

Renew your mind, preach the gospel to yourself.
Speak the truth in love to yourself.   Take care of your soul.

"No one is more influential in your life than you are. Because no one talks to you more than you do." - Paul Tripp

Conversation and dialogue is critical for the Christian man, and oftentimes we are hard pressed to find outlets that are conducive for it. A good male friend who is a safe person to share with is critical, but I would put forward that being able to be a safe person for yourself is even more important. Getting fully coordinated emotionally and mentally is vital to a man’s health.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”  Proverbs 23:7

I ain’t not psychologist but I’ve heard them talk about the positive self and negative self - our views of ourselves. The positive self is the “you” that you don’t mind people seeing, or that you thinks is doing well. The “negative” self is the one that holds you back, the one that you see as a screw up and you don’t want to see the light of day. 

Course, as a Christian, you’re all good. To your core, because Christ is in you. But we still hang on to that shame, that “negative self”, that “old man” that holds us back. And we need to drag it into the Light of God’s magnificence and let it fade away.

Meditation is one way. Sitting alone and being silent is uncomfortable at first because you’re forced to face your own nature raw and unmedicated by the slew of easy dopamines that make us forget who we are. Practice the presence of God in the room, and know that He is happy to see you. Tell yourself the Truth.

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." -Blaise Pascal

Another way is to simply schedule that time to talk to yourself and examine what is going on.  Old beta behavior kicking back in? Whats the root cause? Ask yourself. Tell yourself the Truth.

Find out what your heart and soul needs, and take care of it.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.” Prov 4:23