TL;DR - As a Bay Area Christian in his 20s, I'm glad to have found this subreddit. I've always had cognitive dissonance between feminism and Biblical principles throughout my Christian journey, but never had a great way of framing my thinking and articulating it until I found r/RPChristians.


Hello RP Christian community,

Some background about me: I grew up in the SF Bay Area, went to university here, and have been a Christian since I was in middle school. I am now in my mid-twenties and work in the technology industry. I currently attend a Charismatic non denominational church.

This is what my Red Pill history looks like: I didn't have good social skills in high school so I started reading r/Seduction in my senior year of high school. My social skills, especially with women, started to improve, so I kept lurking in that community. A little later, I discovered r/TheRedPill in the middle of college and saw there were some theory posts that clarified interactions I've seen between men and women. I resonated with much of the concerns around women and male leadership in those subreddits, but always found a lack of cohesion with my Christian values. I'm now glad to say I've found a community that seeks to discuss red pill ideas in the context of Christianity.

To get started on this sub, here are some anti-red pill examples that I've come across but had a hard time articulating until now:

  • Lack of Male Church Governance: Whenever I would have discussions with church leaders about male headship/ female submission in the area of church governance, I would never get satisfying answers. Most of the time I got a "that was descriptive of the apostolic times, but not prescriptive for church today". This plays out strangely in my church, because the Executive Pastor / Founder of my church has clearly articulated that he is against feminism. Furthermore, he clearly is head of his household, his wife is submissive to him, and he exhibits a masculine frame. Put all these together, and he makes a great male role model that men in our church, including me, respect and follow. However, we'll have women at the pulpit and we have a woman on our board of directors, so the cognitive dissonance is hard to reconcile.
  • Unfeminine Women: There's a lack of complementary relationships between men and women. I see women complain about the "lack of good Christian men", but they generally don't show the value that they could bring to a relationship/marriage. Pair this with the strong career-culture in the SF Bay Area, and we have many women that are in their 30s that are having a difficult time finding a good spouse for themselves. They've focused a lot on their careers and subsequently are generally unwilling to submit to a man's frame unless that man is a very powerful corporate leader or wealthy engineer, who also happens to be a strong Christian. Needless to say, those men are very rare. Therefore, given the dating marketplace, there is a lot more demand than there is supply. I don't see it getting any better in the near future.
  • Emasculate Men: Many Christian men further exacerbate the problem. The men I see generally try to find Christian relationships but either find the women not feminine enough or the men are too weak to clearly communicate attraction because of the social stigma around sexual desire. Specifically, one of my male Christian friends (call him Jack) got shut down by a Christian woman (call her Jill) that exhibited strong signs of attraction during a first date. Noticing these signs, Joe went in to give her a small kiss at the end of their date. Jill reciprocated, but later regretted it because it was not "Christian" of her to "give herself too quickly" like that. She escalated that to her church leadership, who then communicated that to Jack's church leadership (Jack and Jill don't go to the same church), who then reprimanded Jack for his "un-Christian-like" behavior. I was very disappointed by this because this perpetuates the stigma around healthy sexual desire, shames men for exhibiting those desires, and doesn't teach women to own up and take responsibility and consequences for their own actions.

That's a lot for now, but I'm glad that there is a space for me to share and discuss my thoughts around red pill thinking paired with Christian values. From the discussion that I've read so far on this subreddit, I've been able to gain a frame work and vocabulary to properly process and organize my thoughts around the experiences. I look forward to engaging with the rest of the community as time goes on.