In trying to develop my understanding of frame, I've struggled mightily. I can't even remember the nonsense I thought about it when my brother pointed out my wife's hypergamy was spinning up 10 months ago and reminded me of TRP, but it has gone through many iterations of understanding over these months.

A week or two ago in church my pastor preached on the 91st Psalm, which Satan cited when tempting Christ in the wilderness. You may recall in the fourth chapter of Matthew -

Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, "'He will command his angels concerning you,' and "'On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.'" Jesus said to him, "Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.'" Matthew 4:5‭-‬7 ESV

My pastor pointed out several things from this text, but the chief thing is that when Satan tempted Christ, he didn't really lie. Scripture does say those things he quoted. Christ really is the only one who has ever filled all the requirements of the 91st psalm - a Messianic Psalm, at that.

Our Lord knew His mission, and didn't get caught up in the nonsense - "throw yourself down and show off by not letting your foot strike a stone!". See, the promise was true, but it was true in the context of the mission.

But our Lord not only refused to get sidetracked by the nonsense, He also stayed on mission. His mission, of course, was to live a perfect life in perfect obedience and to be the spotless lamb that was the only man in all of history who lived with perfect active obedience and passive obedience. His mission was to crush the head of the serpent, not avoid dashing his feet against stones, although both of those promises were true.

It struck me as I was listening that this is literally frame. And what better example of frame has ever existed than Jesus?

  • Hassled by Pharisee and Sadducee trolls constantly, sends them away speechless or raging time and again sinlessly
  • Deals with disciples arguing over who is going to be the greatest
  • Attempted manipulation by Mary, Martha, scribes and teachers (Flattery), and so on - never once manipulated successfully
  • Not only vets but prepares people who want to follow Him - calls some effectually, others express interest but do not have the regenerate heart and He sends them away with the realization that they don't have the heart for it (rich young ruler for example)
  • Put before the court in the middle of the night for a trial that lacked any real justice, and look how He handles it? Of course being God this isn't fair to Caiaphas, since Caiaphas is so unshakeably in Christ's frame that his unjust trial is actually central to the plan...
  • Has a bride that is just a wicked mess, but transforms the bride into something glorious and presents the bride to Himself for His purposes and by the counsel of His will. Not by our doing, that's for sure.

Frame is just staying on mission and not getting redirected into someone else's mission or distracted from the goal; this is why all of mankind is in Christ's frame whether they realize it or not, because there isn't a square inch of creation - anywhere - that Christ isn't completely sovereign over.

But how does this apply to us?

Watch Jesus keep frame from His first recorded words:

Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the group they went a day's journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. [46] After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?” And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart. (Luke 2:41–51 ESV)

Check this out:

  • Attempt at manipulation by Mary (the attempt to instill guilt - 'why have you treated us so? we were in great distress!')
  • The deft and perfectly accurate riposte ("Why were you even looking for me?" - The appeal to personal responsibility - "did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?")
  • The owning His responsibility (Then he went with them, came to Nazereth, and was submissive to them -- because children are to obey their parents in the Lord for this is right, and Christ obeyed perfectly in all things)
  • Finally, the response from Mary - "And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart".

Perfect frame.

Or watch Jesus keep frame with Mary and Martha:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38–42 ESV)

How did Jesus keep frame here? Well, first, where was the temptation to break frame?

Here we see Martha being all type A and trying to serve Him - not a bad thing to serve God, of course, but her sister Mary was the one who couldn't get enough of Christ's words and teachings. Martha asks Christ to tell Mary to come help her instead of continue ministering to her. Christ is not distracted, is not made to feel guilty (though there was a definite attempted manipulation there - "do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?", and instead points out that Mary has chosen the good portion while refusing to redirect His mission.

So what can we learn from all this?

Well, we see a lot of it already spread throughout various excellent posts by people with a far greater understanding of it than myself. But for me at least, watching how Jesus handles these manipulations has been extremely helpful in understanding how I can handle them rightly. I almost feel like I've got a cheat code now between this and the post from a few days ago about marriage being a 'higher authority' that doesn't exist.

I feel like this could be expanded into a book on its own, honestly.