To the women in this sub, what are things to watch out for in other women?

charactorr · 2020-05-16T11:34:52+00:00

Most women are sweet on the outside, but ugly inside. Everybody has 2 sides, but you have to watch out for red flags.
Some christian women can be a feminist too, they dont value or respect men.
Watch out for women who complains all the time. (Anything with using their mouth like nagging, demanding, gossiping)
Women that sees sex as a disgusting act or only for pleasing the man. They are the kind that would accuse you of rape and call the police on you lol.
Personal opinion, women that says they can’t cook are actually lazy, and they dont grow up in a household that teaches daughters to be a women. You dont want a lazy woman taking care of your house and future kids.
Watch how she treat others, especially the elders. You can tell how she would treat you and your family.
Woman with bad finances. She needs to be responsible of her money first, or else she’d be wasting your money later.
Woman that don’t take care of their body. She should be mindful of what she eats, wears, etc. It’s only gonna get worse once a woman have children.

P.S. It’s easier to make ugly women attractive than dumb women smart.

sywonsmumu · 2020-05-16T16:10:17+00:00

For the men in my life, for them I would look for a woman who’s dedicated to a healthy lifestyle, can cook/clean, kind, small digital footprint, healthy outlook on sex, submissive, not a big spender, and believes in the biblical roles of marriage.

The cons I’d watch out for is flakiness, attention seeking behavior, competitiveness. If a job loss or stuff like that happens, you don’t want her to jump ship. Also competing with a woman is tiring, especially in public. Women in my life told me to complement a man when you go out (ie dress nicely, let him speak, touch his arm), but I see women cutting their men off in mid sentence, and it’s not a good look.

Anyway I think the pros of having a woman in your life is them being pleasant or childlike to kind of take you away from whatever the world throws at you.

edit: word

MyobPlis · 2020-05-16T11:04:33+00:00

I'd say if you are a very serious Christian and take your faith seriously, then watch out for women who are active in the church but not super serious about their faith or relationship with God. Saying this cus I was like that.

Women who are generally very sweet outwardly but have a cunning, manipulative side. You'll see it come out once in a while if you pay attention.

Women who are only attracted to you for money or other benefits.

Women who only like you cus you are a good provider. What I mean here is you should have good chemistry and attraction. Sure she can love you because you could be a good man provide, care and protect but if there is no "attraction" it can cause trouble in the bedroom.

This is all I can think of now. Hope this helps.

spankthegoodgirl · 2020-05-16T10:35:53+00:00

Things that are red flags for me:

Not being able to tell the truth/gaslighting/twisting the truth
Lack of boundaries and refusing to respect boundaries.
Gossip/oversharing. If they talk about someone else behind their back to you, they'll talk about you behind your back.
Shallow/nothing in common
Quick to get angry/quick to get into drama.
Can't admit when they are wrong.
Always talking about themselves. Never interested in you or asks about you. This includes turning everything you say into something related to them in some way.
Pettiness/negativity
No ability to look inward at their own motives and behaviors. No desire for internal self-improvement.
Want to control everything and everyone. Can't just fucking relax.

Most of all, I listen to my gut. If I have to come up with reasons to convince myself to spend time with a person...man, woman, alien, whatever...I would rather not force the issue. Gone are my days of wanting to be friends with everyone and thinking every relationship is worth saving. I pick quality people and those people have become true friends and are true friends back to me. Life is peaceful and fun.

AnnaAerials · 2020-05-16T12:06:23+00:00

I was told this by an older elder woman in my church. Watch out for wandering eyes. This concept goes along with something a user recently posted on here about women seeking validation through social media. My wandering eyes, see where her eyes are focused. When she walks into a room is she looking around to see who is looking at her? Or does she walk in with confidence, eyes focused on the younger generation of believers or older congregation, or simply her closest friends. Watch out for those making side glances at other men her age.

That and see how she responds to adversity in her life.

CommGeekGirl · 2020-05-16T22:33:32+00:00

Watch out for any woman who doesn't read the Bible on her own. If the only time she reads the Bible is at church or during a bible study, she may not have a direct walk with God and storge or obligatory community love is more important to her. Storge is dutiful love, but it's cold and expecting. Overtime she will be cold and expecting also.

Study the four different types of love. Knowing different forms of biblical love can help you spot where someone's heart is based on their actions.

(1) Eros: erotic love and observation of beauty. This kind can be a bit objectifying. If the focus is on what you look like, have, or how things look it's a shallower kind of love. It usually does not last long.

(2) Phileo: brotherly love. This is the kind of love we're called to have for other Christians. This kind can be found when someone is genuinely happy for your successes. A lot of people will be there when you're down. But do they celebrate when you're up?

(3) Storge: dutiful love for family, community, and causes. This love has a lot of requirements from you. Storge love is when a lot is asked from you or you ask obligations from others. It can be a cold kind of love, and sometimes gets in the way of spiritual growth.

(4) Agape: sacrificial love. This is the kind Christ has for us. It is the kind of love we should strive for. It's doing for others in a Christly way. It also means being honest and not letting your loved ones walk off a cliff with their decisions.

My interpretations of these are from Pastor Tye Tribbett's sermons, but there are many examples of these out there.

EDIT: added numbering.

HaveABucketList · 2020-05-17T02:23:54+00:00

Being a man, there is that “spider sense” (for a lack of a better word) that goes off, whenever I meet some women, alerting me to be careful dealing with some of them.

It’s difficult to describe the feeling in words.

But by experience, generally, women who wears too much makeup or too many jewelries/accessories worn, are to be cautious of. Their insecurities are through the roof and can be the “me me me” type. Everyone’s experience may be different.

AnnaAerials · 2020-05-17T06:07:51+00:00

Obviously the following isn’t gender exclusive but I believe is probably some of the most common downfalls and positives for women.

Cons; Envious, sensitive, emotionally abusive, manipulative, gossipy, fake, easily lead astray, following her eyes, vanity, selfishness, arguing with authority, wanting to gain authority, using sexuality, mocking

Pros; Caring, loving, understanding, kindness, having an amazing ability to fix things, supporting, encouraging, gentleness, bearing children, creativity, femininity, beauty, pure motherhood, home maker, comforter

Willow-girl · 2020-05-17T00:22:36+00:00

Dishonesty. Someone who lies about little things will lie about big ones, too.

persephonv · 2020-05-21T18:37:07+00:00

22F, married.

I might get hate from other women for this, but I would advise that a Christian man never marry a woman who is not a virgin.

Even if she lost her virginity before she became a Christian, even if she only slept with one or two serious boyfriends. Obviously, if she repented and confessed her sins to God, she is forgiven by God. That doesn’t mean that you have to ignore such a big red flag with someone you are considering marrying.

LouiseConnor · 2020-05-16T21:48:17+00:00

I didn’t read all the other comments yet but off the top of my head I’d watch for a few things in a woman, knowing that these things can still be overcome and the Holy Spirit is able to grow anyone who is Willing to become more like Christ. (Assuming you are male and looking for tips on future spouse? Correct me if I’m wrong.)

Some hardships in my own life that carried into my marriage were:

Dad issues. Hands down. At least know where the woman comes from regarding her relationship with her father. It cannot be ignored. It’s a huge impact.

Childhood emotional neglect. This took me over 10 years of knowing my husband for us to pinpoint that I was debilitated in multiple ways... from connecting with my husband and children.

Coming from a female power, feminist run home. It’s hard to work out, but it can be done like I said, if she’s willing to see unbiblical ideas in herself.

Others in general (to avoid):

Complaining (I mean, have you read proverbs? Lol find a complaining woman, you better find a comfy rooftop)

Unteachable heart

No desire for children (this comes and goes, but still)

Lazy/expects to be pampered

Let’s too many guy friends too close into personal/emotional space

And all that being said, the most important quality is only that she’s a committed AND growing Christian, bc there is nothing too hard for the Lord. I and my husband are living proof! I came from an absent dad, woman dominant broken family, he came from similar except his dad was present and very passive/explosive. He was a super super “nice guy”. It’s been a road for sure! But by God’s grace, we have been willing to learn and grow and it’s so great.

Title	To the women in this sub, what are things to watch out for in other women?
Author	agoodcrayon
Upvotes	26
Comments	51
Date	May 16, 2020 8:53 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/gkriki/to_the_women_in_this_sub_what_are_things_to_watch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/to-the-women-in-this-sub-what-are-things-to-watch.668318 https://theredarchive.com/post/668318