~ archived since 2018 ~

Update: Thank you, planning on ending it

January 18, 2019
6 upvotes

Stats: 8/10 Body Fat is 15%, 6'2, weight 170 and lifts about every other say, max is 155, hope to increase by 175 in a month. Bought dumbbells just in case, I'm not able to go to the gym, so I'm doing better

Reading: 9/10 Improving on reading Bible everyday and I have NMMNG, but I have not been consistently reading NMMNG. Now I'm currently reading the 100-200 series on the sidebar, I need to swallow the red pill--and fast.

Finances: No job, currently senior at college but graduating with a bachelor and minor; I do have promising prospects in my field, most likely will be earning 60,000 1st year with what I have set up

Spiritual: 8.5/10. I read bible daily but not enough quiet time, want to be more spiritual and grow closer to God. Its rare for me to go a day without prayer. I never go a day without thinking of God. Getting better with meditation and reflecting on scripture.

First I want to thank everyone who replied to my previous post, I want to reinstate---my girlfriend is not your typical sleazy American girl, she has a good heart, she is just immature and naive. She's 18 and I see that her lack of experience (being homeschooled) and poor parenting from her parents side (who are Christian) didn't teach her anything about relationships or interacting with the opposite sex.

What broke the camels back was when she gave out her number to a random older man (early 50s?) she was apparently clueless that the man was hitting on her. Later on, the man texted her nice to meet you, lets go out for coffee sometime and and she replied saying sorry she has a boyfriend, maybe we can all go together. When she began telling me how this happened, she first apologized and told me she needs help with saying No to people (in this case, I guess saying no when someone is hitting on you?, she doesn't have this problem with people her age, as I've seen her reject guys advances but apparently with older man she says it's a respect issues, she's not used to seeing older guys as her peers)

Eh, bad explanation and I don't buy it completely, I don't see where respect is an issue when it comes to giving an older man your number....this is really strange folks. She's going abroad sometime later this year and I'm thinking if she gave her number out this easily, what could happen when I'm there.

Now, she felt bad and guilty and asked if I could help her in this regard, but I don't know....I feel like I'm training a child in this relationship. She seemed so mature at first, but I see she doesn't know good boundaries when it comes to guys sometimes, the last issue we had was with the dude at a christian retreat.

Another thing, I feel guilty about us being sexual in the relationship. I don't know if I should consider myself a virgin because the act couldn't be completed WARNING: FOLLOWING TEXT MAY BE GRAPHIC [penetration couldn't be completed, but we grinned while we were nude](/spoiler) if we do break up, I would feel intense regret knowing I have to explain this to my future wife, but it is better than being in a bad marriage where cheating could occur. What's worse is that I feel like a hypocrite because I still desire a virgin....is that wrong? if so, I would like to be corrected.

So, unless God magically intervenes like He did with Joseph when he was planning to end things with Mary ( I know it's different, they were engaged) and God shows me that I was wrong about everything then I would reconsider the relationship but as things are, there are many red flags saying she is immature and that I should end it soon.

Any thoughts?

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Post Information
Title Update: Thank you, planning on ending it
Author StrivingforTruth116
Upvotes 6
Comments 12
Date January 18, 2019 3:10 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RPChristians
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/update-thank-you-planning-on-ending-it.301475
https://theredarchive.com/post/301475
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/ahbdbn/update_thank_you_planning_on_ending_it/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]Jalakee6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man, she's just a gf and she's 18. Women are like buses. There's always another one coming.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelEndorsed, MRP Mod6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've already weighed in on this. Let her go. It IS a respect problem - she doesn't respect you, and she is immature.

[–]redwall924 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy cow. yeah ... I just looked at OP's post history...

Let her go, man. Let her go.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/acuosv/update_on_my_situation/

[–]StrivingforTruth1162 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re right. I let my feelings blind my logic. This is a big lesson for me. :/

[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You also need to start applying plate theory. Read rational male by rollo tomassi. Plate theory can be applied without ever having sex and the book will explain how.

[–]redwall925 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Looked at your post history...

https://www.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/acuosv/update_on_my_situation/

Stop posting about what you're going to do, man.

I need to swallow the red pill--and fast

No, you don't need to do anything fast. The pill can't go down fast. There are no shortcuts.

Next time you want to post about this girl and update us go back and read all of your own post history here.

Read all of your own post history. Read about how immature she is. Read about how she doesn't respect you. Read the responses that people have given you.

And then don't post about this girl again.

[–]StrivingforTruth1163 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I won’t. You have my word. The way I’ve been going about this sickens me, and prior to all of this, I thought I was a sound man doing well in life. this ordeal revealed that I have a lot to work on, Men just do, they don’t talk the talk. Thanks for the tough love man.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You might be "a sound man doing well in life." However, the mindset you want to adopt is that even if you are "a sound man doing well in life" there is always more to do, more work to put in, more life to live. That's the pill you need to swallow. And it doesn't happen quickly. It doesn't ever happen fully in such a way that you some day find yourself "a sound guy doing well in life" that doesn't have a lot to work on.

If you want to find yourself thinking some day "I'm a sound guy with no problems" then go watch a Disney movie.

[–]Stryker72002 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This goirl clearly is immature and has terrible boundaries. And she does NOT respect you. Have enough self respect to dump her man. Her behavior with the guy on the trip would have resulted in an immediate dumping if I was in your shoes. That was as close to straight up cheating as you can get.

[–]StrivingforTruth1160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

to clarify and maybe I should update the post, we were not officially dating but there was something between us, still it felt like a betrayal of sorts.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

People normally marry about equal across the field of the sexual marketplace. If you were more of a high-value guy, you could easily fetch a equally high-value woman. Problem is, you're a guy who's not out of college yet, with no job, no money, and not much self-control. You hate yourself for taking actions that you thought you shouldn't have taken with this girl.

You're either going to grow from this or repeat the same thing in your next relationship. Or maybe you'll just get married really quickly so the sexual temptations aren't a problem anymore. That's called getting married for sex. And that's not a good idea.

You're just like the rest of us man. You do you. Do you want to be married to a girl who doesn't know how to say 'no' to other guys who happen to be older? If so, let me know her number. Or maybe just where she'll be while she's abroad. I'm sure I qualify as older.

But you do you. Become a man that attracts high-value women. And take your pick from that bracket. It sounds like you're settling for the bracket you're in. And if you look at the examples of 20-something's in the RP subs, that's not a check you want to stroke at 20 years old.

Lift. Read. Grow. Get some serious hobbies and some serious friends. Lead. Life it up. Raise your SMV. You've got time to do so in such a way that will pay off in huge dividends down the road.

But as in everything else ... you do you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, who cares. Do whatever. Just stop pussyfooting.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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