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Want Respect? Treat Your Time With Respect

February 12, 2021
65 upvotes

Money.

Muscles.

Minutes.

All three are examples of resources of value; that women value especially. How a man manages these resources is what ultimately sets him apart from other men. Of the three, a man's time is the most precious, but least respected.

Certainly, it requires an investment of time to build a strong aesthetic body, but this is a wise investment with excellent returns. Once built, only a small investment of time is required to maintain an great physique. If tarnished or lost, strength and form can be forged once again, though much faster than before. Ultimately, strength and form are renewable resources that are worth the investment.

Money is much the same. The initial time investment to build a stable financial base for your life (learning high-value skills, establishing a great reputation in your field, making intelligent investments, etc) is considerable. Once established, your ability to earn, save, and spend wisely, allows you to keep filling the war-chest with relative ease. If lost, fortunes can be rebuilt, often faster than the first time around since you have already developed valuable skills and connections. Riches too are a renewable resource.

Time is not. Once a minute is spent, there is no renewing it. You will only be young once. Your son will only be a toddler learning to walk once. You only have this calendar day to live once.

"A person's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed." - Job 14:5 NIV

God is sovereign and has allotted you a fixed number of years, months, days, minutes, seconds, to live. Time is a finite and non-renewable commodity. This fact should lead us to be more judicious in how we spend our time than our money. Yet the vast majority of people, Christians no less, show little respect for their time and treat it casually.

For reference, if you are 25 years old at the time of this post and live to 80 (slightly higher than average life expectancy in the US) you only have 481,609 hours left to be alive. Take 8 hours out for sleeping and another 5.5 for working each day (accounting for weekends and two weeks vacation) and you are left with only 270,095 hours of discretionary time. (calculator)

The stoic philosopher Seneca wrote a letter titled On The Shortness Of Life. It is well worth reading. In it he writes:

"Men will never allow anyone to take possession of their estates, and at the slightest dispute on boundary lines they pick up stones and rush to arms; but they do allow others to trespass on their lives... men are very strict in keeping their patrimony intact, but when it comes to squandering time they are most lavish of the one item were miserliness is respectable."

Your time is the most precious resource you have to manage. Do you treat it as such, or are you a spendthrift casting your pearls before swine? Our culture has been constructed to extract your most precious possession, time, with minimum effort and without payment.

When you are scrolling endlessly on social media, reading yet another news article that will be irrelevant tomorrow, and whacking it to "free" porn five times a day, you are selling your time to corporations that do not give a singular damn about you for $0.00. I ran the numbers and did the math. Here is the analysis of that investment.

How do you spend your time? If someone were to observe your average day, would they come away with the impression that you respect your time? If the answer is no, why on earth should they respect you?

Withdrawing Time And Attention

A man providing and withdrawing his time and attention to a woman can be an effective way to discourage bad behavior and encourage, reward, and reinforce good behavior... if his time is worth anything. Turns out the man who regularly sells his time for $0.00 does not have a lot of impact on a woman when he withdraws it from her.

Why should it matter to her?

A woman who sees a man constantly squandering his time as if it weren't worth anything very well may come to the conclusion that his time is indeed as worthless as he treats it. Not only does his withdrawing his time and attention mean little to her, but his giving her his time and attention is nearly insulting.

"If the man who spends his time on worthless things spends it on me, does that make me worthless too?" - her hamster

Contrast this with the man who respects the value of his time and spends it carefully. He doesn't waste it on useless frivolity. He demands a high rate of return from any employer wanting to purchase his time from him. He is selective in who he spends time with. When he recreates it is not mindless idleness but an active pursuit of leisure. When such a shrewd man spends his time on something or someone, he is making a statement: this is valuable and worth spending my precious time on.

"The frugal steward finds nothing worth trading his time for; that is why he has enough of it." - Seneca

That is the sort of man who can remove his time and attention and it be felt as a loss, or give his time and attention and it be felt as a gift. Consider Elon Musk's recent investment of 1.5 billion dollars in Bitcoin. Like him or hate him, Elon Musk is a heavyweight in the market and by giving his attention and resources to Bitcoin, the market responded and greatly upgraded the value of the commodity.

A man who has a track record for not wasting his time and spending it wisely can likewise confer value on people and things when he deems them worthy of spending time on. This, ultimately, is why the time and attention of an alpha is so craved by women. By attracting his attention, she is proving herself valuable enough for a guy like him to spend his valuable time on her.

Do not hoard your time, but invest it wisely and spend it well. Length of life is not a substitute for quality of life.

"You cannot, therefore, accept a hoary head and wrinkles as proof of a long life; the man has existed a long time, he has not lived a long time." - Seneca

Last year one of my aunts died at a relatively young age. She was the youngest of her siblings and she was survived by her mother. Her death was made less sorrowful because, while she hadn't lived a long life, she had lived a lot more life than most people twice her age. She invested her time on important and enriching things. She never counted on having more time later in life and she was blessed to have had lived with this perspective.

Respect the ultimate non-renewable resource in your life. Do not let other break into your frame and steal it from you, or worse, give it away for a pittance.

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." - Psalm 90:12

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Post Information
Title Want Respect? Treat Your Time With Respect
Author OsmiumZulu
Upvotes 65
Comments 22
Date February 12, 2021 12:13 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RPChristians
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/want-respect-treat-your-time-with-respect.741338
https://theredarchive.com/post/741338
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/lhyvim/want_respect_treat_your_time_with_respect/
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Comments

[–]Tpetplayr14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was a needed and timely post. I wasted my day today, and as a Christian, and self employed, it's a travesty. Thanks for the kick in the pants.

[–]Lil_Doll4044 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just want to thank men for all their hard work and the effort put into being a provider and protector. I understand that things like depression or anxiety can cause anyone to allocate their time badly. Forgive yourself for it. Feeling bad about it will make you lose more time and ruin your mental wellbeing. Think about what motivates you. What motivates me is that one day my husband and child will be counting on me to keep the house in order. The thought names me happy enough to get up every morning.

Despite what modern society tells us, a house cant stand without a strong and organized man. So, know that your efforts are appreciated.

[–]arjungmenon6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve wasted so much time in my life. I’ve spent thousands of hours watching stuff online (Netflix, YouTube, etc), browsing Reddit, etc.

This post almost makes me want to cry.

[–]PredestinedPat9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

stop crying, get off reddit, and go to the gym

[–]Wimba641 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent post my brother.

I live by this Thomas Jefferson quote:

“Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time, who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done, if we are always doing.”

[–]alekhine211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why are you so afraid of running out of time my friend. Did Jesus not promise you eternal life? For you and all your loved ones? God bless.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]PredestinedPat1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Quit worrying and start allocating your time wisely.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes.

[–]Kara_youtube0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Saving this for when I can read it later!

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

How in the world did you end up at this sub?

[–]Kara_youtube0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have no idea. I guess bc it’s Christian...should I not save it for later?😂😂

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Read it if you want. In fact most of this sub will probably offer a new perspective on faith (Churchianity vs. Christianity for example). Judging by your post history you're just not the typical demographic that winds up here.

r/RPCWomen may be of interest to you as well

[–]Kara_youtube0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cool beans thank you:))

[–]Torn4_0250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly I only really learned to value money for most of my life and didn't consider muscles or time that important. I've started to understand the value of muscles, but time is something I haven't cared about. Even when hearing time is money that's not really an idea that my head easily raps around.

This is a post I'm saving for later and will read again for sure.

[–]KaimuraiX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow this is a great post. I’ve been a life long gamer so this explains why my wife had no respect for my time when I wanted to teach myself programming.

[–]trapper_bub0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Define "worthwhile and enriching" things because I have found that what I find worthwhile and enriching isnt really respectable at all. So I'm left not sure where to invest my life.

Everything I think of is utterly stupid and a waste of my potential. But the paths I've followed which have been laid before me by others (parents or ex fiancee) seem to me to be fruitless.

So yeah how would you define enriching and worthwhile. Cus on paper I've achieved this but I dont feel it.

[–]OsmiumZuluMod | Trapasaurus Rex 🦖 | Married 8y[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

To a large degree the answer to this will be subjective because you are unique. God put you here and now with talents, desires, and opportunities, that may or may not be aligned with what modern western capitalistic consumerism places value on.

Part of the answer to this is how you will look back on what you spent your time on. Ten years from now will you be proud of the game of League of Legends where you pulled off a great play and dominated the other team? Probably not. Does that mean you should never play? No, but I don't make a habit of pretending a donut is anything other than a tasty but useless / counter productive food choice. Moderation is key. If I decide to eat a donut after church I will enjoy it for what it is and move on. If I started eating a donut every day, I would be wasting my health on something stupid and trivial.

Leisure, properly defined, is terribly undervalued in our society, which is somewhat comical because leisure is what built the culture that no longer values it. Consider music, or any other artistic pursuit. The great artists who shaped our cultural heritage were investing themselves in non-essential / "unproductive" work. This pursuit of active leisure provides us with everything from nursery rhymes and campfire stories to entire schools of philosophical thought and world-shaping works of literature. Civilization is built on discretionary time spent on "enriching" things, many of these things are not easily given a price tag or an easily calculated ROI.

Hope that helps.

[–]trapper_bub0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

So I'm only 27 but I already feel like I've wasted most of my life. Part if it is mix leisure and work too much I think, or at least have very blurry boundaries between the two. I dont really do the video games but your League of Legends thing makes me think of my football career which has contributed greatly to my feelings of wasted time I think. I played for 13 years in middle school, high school, then I decided to play in college cus my dad always talked about how much he regretted quitting even though I was truly over it by then. My parents also suggested I go to the school that wanted me for football cus I would have a built in social life (truthfully they're right on that point). In all 13 years I look back at that and think how utterly useless and stupid and waste of time that sport is, I was never even on a winning team, in those thirteen years I was a part of 14 victories. So all that time I spent being a looser I could have spent working to pay for school (I have massive debt from going to school for football) or joining the military which would have made me a better man or killed me in the process which are both ideal outcomes honestly or even just pursuing what I would call my passion which is hunting, trapping, and fishing. I didnt even really enjoy football in the moment either, it was just the only way for me to fit in socially and even on the teams I was on I didnt really fit in socially and did all kinds of dumb stuff like drink, do drugs, have sex with strangers, and commit acts of vandalism in an effort to fit in with my teammates. I honestly dreaded football and would find myself looking out the window on the bus rides thinking off all the critters out in the farm fields and woods that I could be hunting.

I made great plays in football too but yeah I dont really think about them often. But when I look at the deer antlers on my wall and think about the effort it took to achieve those feats, the knowledge I had to acquire, the thiusands of hours practice I had to do with the bow to pull of clean shots, waking up early and enduring the cold and so on I wanna feel proud of that. But most of all when I think about that I was able to feed my parents, sister, grandparents, and exgirlfriend the highest quality, most ethical, most nutritious meat on the planet straight from God's forest to them through me I do feel pride, or at least I want to take pride in that. It's really something to wake up hours before the sun comes up and go out in the woods, manage to actually find and get close enough to kill an animal with a bow and arrow (or even a rifle, the tool used has less bearing on the outcome than non hunters realize), then take that animal home and honor it in the butchering process by doing it yourself and laboring late into the night to ensure no meat spoils and then giving it a place of honor in your home in the form of the antler "trophy" and hanging that on your wall (cus you cant eat them), and most of all to then cook that animal for people you love to eat and enjoy is, idk there arnt enough words to describe that experiance and that right there is what I find enriching and what I want to share with the world so more than just I can experiance it. But hunting is stupid and childish, and theres more to life than hunting and if I would just buckle down and became a professional football player/take a higher paying corporate job I could hire guides to take me hunting anywhere in the world is the argument I got in return...

I should also note I work as a forester partly so I can know the woods so well that I'll hopefully be a better hunter in the end. Also I find some fulfillment in my 9 to 5 job being that of a hands on boots on the ground steward of God's forests. But now this may be the capitalist/materialism you touched on at the top of your comment talking but my exfiancee had a real point that forestry doesnt pay as much as "some corporate job" and if I also feel called to be a husband and father their wellbeing should come first and foremost, now, before they're even born (her exact words were "if you really loved me I think you would take some corporate job that pays better so we can have a better life)

She is right because I have debt, 80k, and my degree doesnt qualify me to be anything more than a field working grunt. My degree is not in forestry, which is an actual hard science, but rather in environmental studies which is a touchy feely liberal arts degree I knew I'd never use but was the closest thing to forestry that the college I could play football at had to offer. I coulda went to more affordable schools that actually offered the degree I wanted but then my dad wouldnt have gotten to see my play football and at the time everyone around me told me I'm too smart for forestry and could still do it if I wanted cus that degree was "better" in some way that I still havent figured out.

The worst part of it all is I recently met a girl who was like a mirror to me on all these things, like our conversations just clicked... but she just isnt in to me "that way" cus she met someone better.

So I'm kinda like what do I do?? No matter what I do it's never enough for anyone. Even when I am pursuing that which I find enriching I'm still mostly alone with no one to share this life which I have been given which I find so amazing with.

So maybe what I think is enriching isnt really truly enriching at all but is actually childish.

What does it mean when Christian's talk about "fruitfulness" ? Like what is "fruitful"

This is very helpful, sorry I sound like the devils advocate it's just how I problem solve (think sheldon cooper from the big bang theory, that my personality in a nutshell)

Edit: my father and I havent spoken at all this year. It's not the first time a blow up between us has led to us not talking for months. But when my sister was home for Christmas we all went out to his bar and grill and got drunk (cus that's the only way my family knows how to have fun) and she rolled a car and didnt die but when I found out I was livid. I was so angry at myself for being drunk and not being able to stop or otherwise protect my sister. That caused a massive fallout when my dad told me "nothing happened, you shouldnt feel bad at all" I havent been able to speak to him without screaming at him since then but continually argue with him in my head daily.

[–]UshankaDalek1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your post is way too long and I only read about 10% of it, but remember this. Time spent in football was hardly wasted. Keeping yourself in shape, doing teamwork with other men, and learning how to win and lose gracefully are vital life skills.

[–]trapper_bub0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That a understandable. I can turn out pages and pages of writing and talk until I've talked in circles so I kinda accept that no one reads or listens to everything I write or say (this mindset is actually something I'd also like to change cus I recognize how it hurts me). So thanks for taking the time to comment.

Also, i really really wanna believe in my heart those things you say. I'm actually reminded that my time wasnt wasted there every day. Because every day I wake up next to a pitbull who was picked out for me by a former teammate who operates a pitbull rescue operation. And if I'd never gone there and played football I'd have never met that teammate which means I'd never get to have the love of this dog or make his life better by taking him home with me.

I'm kinda haunted by the off field behavior though and the financial circumstances attending a school for football put me in (which I only did cus my dad always pushed me to admittedly because he had given up on his college football career before it was over). Also the act of giving into something I new at the time wasnt going to make my life better to please my human father is something I have been wrestling with for literally 10 years.

The wins and losses is a tough one too. I'm not sure if I got the right message. Or how to reclaim a better message. We rarely won. Once or twice a year. So those wins are things I cherish, I even was responsible for the block that secured one of those few victories, but I think all the loosing (and playing about 40lbs undersized for my position) instilled apathy in me, as it was the consistent ziefiest of our teams. It's like I learned that no matter how hard you work someone better will always come next week and rub your face back in the dirt... cus your worthless, so screw it.

I wanna drop the "cus your worthless so screw it part" part of that though. That's why I'm really here I guess.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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