Wife On Sex Strike Unless I Go Vegan?????

Deep_Strength · 2022-01-02T18:12:39+00:00

Like most other people asking for help, your biggest issue is mission:

Mission: My current mission is to have children and to build my family. For obvious reasons, I need my wife's help to achieve this.

Not a mission. Incomplete at best.

Since you're here on RP, you may have heard of Heartiste's 16 commandments of Poon. Well, not all of them are right exactly right theologically, but one of them hits directly to the mark for your mission here: III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority.

Your family and especially your wife CANNOT be your mission. Men who make this their missions are almost always going to have big issues.

Our mission as Christians is the Great Commission - Go and make disciples of all nations, teaching them all that Jesus commanded us. This includes but is not exclusive of:

What are your gifts of the Spirit?
How are you using your gifts of the Spirit to love and serve others?
How are you connected in with the Church and serving the body of Christ or evangelizing?
What is your mission in the context of the Church? Evangelizing? Teaching? Making disciples of men?
What are you passionate about to help the body of Christ grow in maturity? How can you implement that now and where do you want to be in the future with it?

I've been an active Christian my whole life (Church Camp, Mens Retreats, etc.) and pray before every meal and when I go to bed. I'm on the quieter side, so I tend to keep a low profile on my religion, but I'm trying to work on that.

Big yellow/red flag here as well.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

As a husband, you're responsible to God for helping your wife be sanctified. Praying a bunch? Ok, fine. Doing Church stuff? Great.

But how have you been spiritually leading your family?

The Issue

Well, it's kinda no wonder if you haven't been spiritually leading your wife and kids through Bible study, prayer, and other spiritual disciplines and teaching them it's little wonder if your wife may be persuaded by false doctrines.

So these are the two areas you should be focusing on. Drop the contentious topics at the moment. Focus on owning up to your deficiencies toward God's mission and the Biblical marital roles and responsibilities and start leading by example. Once you build up a good amount of trust and influence you can start diving back toward some of these issues.

Instead of obeying me, she told me that she wasn't going to have sex with me unless I go vegan.

The irony is she's making herself sin.

1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Praexology · 2022-01-02T05:32:54+00:00

but you have to understand

First off, delete this phrase from your vocabulary.

As the Captain of the home, I decided to put my foot down, telling her that we were going back to eating meat

You can't force people to do stuff without physically making them do it. And because we live in the 21st century, attempting to do this literally will land you in the slammer. Meaning: you can't "put your foot down" you can only voice your expectations and allow people to experience the fallout of failing to keet those expectations.

For your mariage, what is that fallout? You making your own dinner? Nobody guaranteed you a happy marriage, God included. All you can do is behave as you see right.

Rejoice7 · 2022-01-01T09:38:28+00:00

Have you had her try to explain where she is getting it from?

She may just not be well read in Scripture or teaching.

The example of Peter in Acts is pretty clear too.

If she’s still obstinate I would put her on mute and ignore her until she realizes its her fault.

Might need to start doing some meal prep or protein mixes.

Could also meet with the Pastor and go over it - a neutral third party that she cant accuse of personal attacks.

I would definitely not get angry or visibly frustrated anymore (easier said than done I know) - just be cool as a cucumber 🥒 and say no meat tonight? Ok ok and walk out, silence, do your thing. Youve set the expectation and shes deliberately defying it for no good reason and she knows it. They always know it.

She is also forbidden to use withdrawal of sex as a weapon and thats Scriptural too. So her whole MO is bunk.

But you cant get mad, thats all she can blame you for. Take that away and she got nothing.

Might also start a weekly Bible study with her if you arent already - maybe even better to do one with others, at the church or a house study. It may take 6 months to get to a relevant passage to your predicament, but it will come up and she will see no one believes what she does. This way, its not you “attacking her faith” its no, no one believes this and its absurd.

This Bible study also I think will be a way to still be committed together to doing something faith related together - and while it may be a struggle on the vegan thing in the meantime, you may grow closer (are at least not farther apart) in other areas.

Edit:

Pray together also - even when theres daggers every night, ask her to pray with you. She may realize she is hurting you and that is only hurting herself. Pray with her that God brings you both closer together.

It may even be revealed that its not about meat at all but personal control issues, communication issues, love language issues, etc. A lot of times these obsessions of women are about something totally unrelated, but its what they can control, so they fixate on it. Dealing with a loss, body changes, uncertainty about the future, media influence, “friends”, or something changed with you and she doesnt know how to say it, etc

2022-01-02T13:18:35+00:00

I would withdraw your attentions until she changes her attitude. Christ does not cooperate with the disobedience of his church. There are better things you can be doing with your time than with a willfully defiant wife. Btw you may need kids to physically reproduce but not to spiritually reproduce. Get a mission that does not require her. You can read more about that on the sidebar.

hobbestec · 2022-01-01T14:16:48+00:00

There is a 7th day Adventist Veganism conspiracy that promotes this way of eating. Animals are part of the carbon cycle and are here for a reason. I want people to watch films like Sacred Cow to understand the nutrition and ethics. Jesus ate fish and gave fish to thousands.

SkimTheDross · 2022-01-06T11:12:42+00:00

Buy 8 pounds of meat and meal prep your food for the week.

Also, read Never Split the Difference and How to Win Friends and influence people. You’re handling of the conversation with your wife is a problem. You acted like a nap-deprived, 6 year old whining he didn’t get his toy.

You acted like her kid.

2022-01-03T00:48:14+00:00

Just about everyone likes to pet dogs. That doesn't make her feminine. You had oneitis rose colored glasses on when you put a ring on this one dude. Now her true colors are coming out and you don’t know what to do because you didn’t swallow the red pill. You lifted some and sprinkled a bit of RP on your blue pilled wet dream & called it a day.

So here’s what I’d do. Cook your own meals and tell her she can eat like a rabbit. If she doesn't want to bang like a bunny and dress like one for you, then she can go bleed on someone who gives a rip about being a vegan cultist.

If she doesn’t like it then I’d say go ahead put on a sex strike. I will do whatever I want and eat all the meat I want. Maybe go hunt some deer for good measure and bring it’s corpse in to clean & eat later. Maybe shoot a rabbit or two just for kicks.

I think you need to learn DGAF. Because based on your reaction you are butt hurt about things she does and you let her have power over what you eat because you won’t even get your butt out of a chair to cook what you want to eat. Does that sound like a man or a boy waiting for mommy to feed him?

Don’t be that guy. Take control of what’s yours and let her beat off in the corner on her crazed vegan fetish until you get your ship together. If she wants to bleed on the non meat products before eating them let her do it and you pick up a red stake & eat it. If she doesn’t like it too bad. Men do what they want in their house. And that’s the end of it no matter how much she whines about political things or how “mean” eating meat is.

2022-01-01T13:46:13+00:00

Veganism is complete bs, the reason people in third world countries are shorter on average is because they had less access to quality protein (meat, fish, poultry, eggs … all animal based) my dad is 5’4 and when we spend time back in his country of origin I can’t help but notice the amount of protein intake there throughout day can’t possibly surpass a couple grams. Now so called “scientists” are trying to force this bs with unrepresentative statistics and bunk studies for some reason

JabberWookie_77 · 2022-01-01T09:20:46+00:00

You forgot rule 2. Mods lock this please.

1 Timothy 4:1-3 KJV

"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;

Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth."

PhilosophiaChristi · 2022-01-02T12:12:50+00:00

u/BlueJacket_Fan1995 - most likely your wife has been caught up in vegan media on her phone, her computer, wherever. You will not be able to fight the conditioning with a quick conversation.

Begin by having an open conversation with her so you can fully understand what she is thinking and where she learnt this stuff. You will almost certainly find that she is distraught over the quality of life that industrialised farming and animal husbandry has given to our livestock. It is right for anyone to decry these conditions, don't confuse it with the moral question of eating animals and don't let your wife confuse that question either.

If I'm correct about where this is coming from, the next step for you needs to be in taking charge of handling these issues for your family. In other words, given that your wife might be motivated by genuine moral struggles, what should you as the patriarch of your family do? I recommend you lead your wife in studying the issues Biblically and with the help of scholars who have written on the question of vegetarianism and the Bible. Other commenters here have dumped a bunch of verses on your head, but I fear the manner in which they have done this will lead you to bludgeon your wife with them to get what you want. This would be neither loving, nor intellectually honest.

Here's an idea of what you could do. Begin by compiling all the verses you can find on God's attitude to animals and the ethics of eating meat. There are many examples in the comments on this post. Ask your wife to join in and help you do so. Then do a Bible study through these together. Then move on to secondary literature around the issue. I recommend What Would Jesus Really Eat?: The Biblical Case for Eating Meat by Copan, Jamison, and Kaiser. But remember, this is about showing your wife you are understanding and open minded, so get her to recommend a book as well. Then read through these together and discuss the arguments. Do not be close minded. The most essential thing here is to model for your wife intellectual humility. You will feel threatened, your blood pressure and heart rate will rise. You must control it. Remember, the aim is not to convince your wife but to lead the both of you to truth as the patriarch of the home.

Now if I am correct about her concern being with the way in which meat is produced (industrial farming/husbandry), then you might end up concluding (as I have) that eating meat is perfectly justified and Biblical, but that there are moral constraints on how to procure it. You might feel convicted to change the relationship your family has with food. I recommend books on homesteading. I recommend listening to this podcast with Aaron Renn and John Moody on homesteading, and then getting Moody's book on the topic.

Honestly, this could be the start of something very exciting and I wish you the best in finding it.

kevin-t- · 2022-01-18T15:44:05+00:00

I literally would continue eating meat and not say a word to her about her veganism. When she threatened no sex, just say, no problem... and don’t let it upset you. If she actually withholds sex from you for a few months, I’d have the divorce conversation. Being stoic and walking away are your only tools to solve this one. She is making a manipulative ultimatum. Not good.

PhilosophiaChristi · 2022-01-01T12:50:27+00:00

Happy New Year!

This is a very promising start to 2022 for RPC.

Spriggs53 · 2022-01-01T14:22:59+00:00

First and foremost, think about what it means to love her in this moment, because when we are called to be like Christ that includes in how he loved his people; that was unconditional love, so even through its unbiblical and goes against your belief, you make it clear you can’t support this lifestyle, that would be hypocritical, but on the other hand it’s not your place to change her, it’s not our job to change people, thats God’s job, and have to trust that he will do what he does best; he cares for us. What she is doing is very clearly wrong, she should not be forcing you to go against your beliefs just like she doesn’t want you to force your beliefs on her. She is in the wrong in this scenario, but that doesn’t make it ok to retaliate, thats not what love is. Remember the verse that says all the wonderful things about love, that is what marriage is supposed to be. I agree with whoever said to bring the pastor into the situation, thats a good third party to mediate, because clearly she isn’t willing to listen to you. But remember she is still deserving of love and respect, this certainly doesn’t warrant a divorce. Marriage is a commitment, we make it work no matter what until what I believe is absolutely rock bottom. God’s heart reflects this. Remember to stay in the word, pray, and look at how God’s heart is reflected in the teachings of the Bible. God tames care of his people, he will certainly take care of you and your wife, this is your chance to be connected with God and learn more about him all the while growing your marriage and in the end becoming more intimate with your wife.

rocknrollchuck · 2022-01-01T15:24:19+00:00

EDIT: UNLOCKED

~~Locked until you provide stats. Message me when you add them and I will unlock the post.~~

ItsMeMarlowe · 2022-01-01T10:47:42+00:00

Sounds like your wife has strong convictions and doesn't want you to support the most evil industry on the planet.

F_Reaper · 2022-01-02T09:10:12+00:00

Remind her of the Cain and Abel offerings. God rejected the vegetables and accepted the animal offering.

Veganism is Sin.

Also how many meat offerings did the Israelites did at the Temple.

Heck Jesus himself gave fish and bread to the crowd, if she says that Jesus did wrong by feeding his people meat then she has no logic left.

ChadThundagaCock · 2022-01-07T07:10:16+00:00

What the heck do you do, man. Like what part of tech

NoWakeZone7 · 2022-01-13T01:24:03+00:00

There is this funny graphic in the book Man in the Mirror. It plots women on an axis that is rebellious / submissive and men on hate / love. How does your marriage score?

Your entire post is all about works, not faith. You wield the law over your wife like a Pharisee. You failed to lead your wife well and now she is carried away by some strange teaching.

Reverse course and pursue a relationship with Jesus. Let the Holy Spirit guide your ways. Once you fix yourself your wife will follow.

Lumiere91 · 2022-01-16T18:43:48+00:00

Can you get counseling? I think it may help give a different perspective.

Newbiefd · 2022-01-19T20:03:50+00:00

Cook and buy groceries for yourself?

GretaVanPeat · 2022-02-03T06:31:24+00:00

You’re not seeing gains because you’re not taking B12 sups on a vegan diet. Protein isn’t an issue if you watch macros closely, but most vegans are deficient in b vitamins, vitamin D and calcium. Easily supplemented. Maybe you’re not lifting enough?

PRW63 · 2022-02-21T14:50:51+00:00

Obey God Eat meat.

Genesis 9: 2-3

PRW63 · 2022-02-21T14:52:26+00:00

I know it's probably my fault for putting up with all this BS in the first place

Yes, you kind of "made the bed" sort of speak. You are in and probably have always been in her frame.

Crazy_Lawfulness_582 · 2022-04-21T02:52:56+00:00

Remove attention. Don’t talk about “needing sex” ever. Her duty as a wife is to give her husband sexual access. She’s not being a wife. It’s like you telling her: “if you don’t do what I do I’ll stop paying the bills and I’ll stop protecting you”. It’s madness. Be cool about this and remove attention asap..if she doesn’t change her ways and fulfills her duties, then my friend, she doesn’t respect you enough as the leader. Fulfill your sexual needs elsewhere and so be it. She broke the marriage not you. Imposing her vegan beliefs on you was more important than her marriage and family.

Title	Wife On Sex Strike Unless I Go Vegan?????
Author	BlueJacket_Fan1995
Upvotes	42
Comments	37
Date	January 1, 2022 9:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/rtfsb6/wife_on_sex_strike_unless_i_go_vegan/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/wife-on-sex-strike-unless-i-go-vegan.1093527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1093527