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Advice Needed: Should I go back to work, for what reasons, and how?

February 2, 2017

Ladies, I need your advice.

I get the sense that I should start working again, and this is because my husband told me yesterday that he 'hates being so jealous' because I am at home. He told me a month ago that he was alright with me keeping up the home. Yet he is a homebody, always has been, and he's started a new job recently. I have a chronic illness that keeps me from being super awesome at most things, but I am definitely trying to improve! And I've been sick the past week. We are both enjoying the peace and the time we have together since I am at home--the meals on the table, the kinder and peaceful relationship we now enjoy, my availability to him.

Anyway, in reply I said, "I see," and we didn't talk about it further. I am nervous and simply don't quite know how to proceed as a RPWife. Should I communicate with him as to what specifically he is jealous about (since maybe I'm not living up to his expectations for being a housewife)? Or should I just go out and find a job again?

I hesitate to get another job because I am not sure how this new type of relationship will succeed as well when I am tired from my job and not available for him. By the way, he isn't as concerned about the money aspects. I am saving us money.

I look to you women because you both work outside and inside the home, and you're able to tell me how to balance the two, or how to simply think or approach this in a balanced way. How do you balance your own needs when you work outside the home, all the while being a RPWi? And doing it while you have a chronic illness?

Edit: Field Report - Getting Back to my RPW-Self

I think you all might be glad to hear that I have had a good evening, and there's still a few hours to go. Thanks to your advice, things went great. But anyway, here's what went down:

  • I got off Reddit and put on my cuter clothes, which I hadn't worn since two weeks ago.
  • I took a cookie recipe from some blog and made cookies.
  • I got up, cleaned up the kitchen, and made him some curry, which he loves.
  • I put up some Valentine's decorations from our dating days. (Helped me more than it helped him, I'm sure.)

When he got home, I stayed quiet but sympathetic, as he did have a rough day. Job requires more risk with less feedback. Then we ate dinner. Then we got romantic, and after that, I asked him, "Would you be happier if I got a job again?"
He says, "Oh, you've got to take what I say this week with a grain of salt, it's been so stressful." He talked about how much different this job is compared to his last one.
I said, "I know how hard this job could be when you took it, and I wanted to be there for you even more. I so appreciate being able to care for you in a more direct way. If you ever think of anything that might help you, since you help me with your job everyday, let me know." And he basically thanked me for saying that in a really genuine way.
Wow. That's all I can say. This whole RPWi and Surrendered Wife thing is pretty amazing, isn't it? I realized that I needed to amp up my RPW game. How easy it is to slide into comfort and focusing on myself instead of him. Note: I am personally looking into part-time work, as I would like to have work available whenever the need becomes greater.

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Post Information
Title Advice Needed: Should I go back to work, for what reasons, and how?
Author bettsdressed
Upvotes 21
Comments 11
Date February 2, 2017 6:37 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWives
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