Check out A and B below. Help me reconcile? A- When does my need for my space become important then? Never, just in case his head gets turned? B - where his career tanking has required her to step in and take on these responsibilities... Does not the woman’s burden shoulder become a concern?

something seductive about the idea that it is actually all our fault...we women can make or break a relationship

I see this as a theme sometimes when women talk about relationships- my ex actually conceptualized our relationship , in so many words, as a power struggle.

What if there is a hunger for agency, self-efficacy, empowerment, in everyone, and it can be completely satisfied by exerting oneself to be the best person one can imagine, while allowing others the freedom to pursue that life for themselves? What if that hunger for power is simply misconceptualized and misdirected - outward against one's mate, instead of inward, toward one's own growth process? That is one of the pillars of the Married Red Pill for men: Own Your Shit: lift, think about what you're doing, pick up the slack, focus on your own blind spots.

Or is it seductive because you actually want to have ultimate power in the relationship ? Of course, women can make or break a relationship, that's why MGTOW refuse to expose themselves to divorce rape at the hands of a mercenary woman. It's true that the one with power in a negotiation is the one who can walk away: that's why marriage is a Prisoner's Dilemma. You both have to say "nope - not walkin' away" to get any reward, confident that the other party knows how to backstop a trust fall. Choose wrongly, lose bigly. That's why people are said to 'fall' in love - it requires letting go of security; you're giving the other person power over your happiness to a certain extent.

And this is the substance of my assertion that the Cock Carousel damages men in parallel to the damage it inflicts on women: it reduces a man's ability to fall/trust in love. In fact, MRP men have a monument to their belief in hypergamy as the wolf at their own door, in their saying : "She's not yours; it's just your turn". This is too smart by half. They've gone so far into the ways of cynicism, exploited for their own aims, that they can't let go of it, and that's why so many of them are stuck merely passing comfort tests when they could go much deeper into the rewards of a dominant role. There are a few unicorn men who have made it to the Elysian Fields of deep and loving and supercharged D/s in their marriages, and they are in love with their wives at last, and it's truly breathtaking to see- it's like looking at a closeup view of the weather on the sun.

lots of Christian women hate the book because they believe it encourages wives to manipulate their men, which isn't true submission

I believe that's a misinterpretation of the techniques. It's not manipulative to give people what they need when you are in a relationship with them. Otherwise, why is there a book called the 5 Love Languages? It's not the "5 Foolproof Ways to Get Others to Do Things for You, In Spite of Their Best Interests".

Why are you trying so hard to make your life fit into the framework of that book?

Like they say, 'don't knock it if you haven't tried it'.

Personally, I don't like the way it made me feel, like I had to strain very hard to make myself fit a mold that just isn't me.

Yes, that is exactly what most women say about the first steps - humbling themselves, forgiving their mate, and appreciating his good qualities. They don't like the way it makes them feel. Giving up power and self righteousness feels threatening, and is hard to do, if you do it right. Not saying that was your sticking point, I don't know you - but the whole process is hard for anyone, it goes against natural human narcissism. And MRP men refer to waking up and resuming their proper role after being a Drunk Captain as 'the grindingest grind you will ever grind'.