How can I become a "catch"?

Flame_Tigeress · 2018-08-20T08:46:52+00:00

This is a great question! Becoming a catch actually differs depending on the stage of the relationship. What makes a woman great during the initial phases of dating won't be the same attributes as what makes a great wife. This is why I'm not going to throw out specifics like, "cook for him" and "show you can keep a clean house." Those are important, but I think how a woman conducts herself and aligns her expectations play a more significant role in commanding a man's respect (which really, then determines if he views her as a catch or not).

When first dating: Men look for women who are whole and complete, independent of their presence in her life. A catch is a woman who can have her pick of men, but based on her strong moral compass and high standards, she doesn't settle easily. She takes care of herself and has her own unique style. Nothing about the way she looks comes across as insecure or attention-seeking. She listens well, and frames conversations to elicit a talk in which he feels good about himself. She reciprocates his gestures but never gives more than she gets. She is kind. She makes no demands of his time and attention knowing it will get him to go in the opposite direction. She has a strong backbone and walks away from disrespect and/or manipulation. She waits before sleeping with the guy and when it happens, she's confident about her body and enthusiastic. She is joyful and doesn't take life too seriously.

When in a serious relationship: She indicates fiscal responsibility and pays her own bills. Her girlfriends/hobbies are still as much a part of her life as when she was first dating. She is kind to his friends and family. She is thoughtful of her boyfriend's needs and gives him the benefit of the doubt. She is in the relationship out of desire and not need. She does not live with the guy, but when she is at his house her presence makes him wish she could be a full-time staple in his life (be it her cooking or cleaning skills).

When in marriage: She never keeps score. She upholds her duties without complaint, whatever they may be (it's clear cut in traditional marriages but still up to the husband and wife). She thinks in terms of the good of the whole and not herself. If husband and wife choose to have kids, then she prioritizes motherhood. She tends to her marriage with as much discipline as her career, diet, exercise, school, etc. She's unafraid to point blank ask what she can do to be a better wife, and is willing to conform certain aspects of herself to please him knowing he will do the same for her. She builds him up around other men, friends, and family. She gives her husband a chance to rectify issues before griping about them to anyone outside. She maintains the same high standards for herself in her own appearance as the day they first met.

toolate4redpill · 2018-08-24T10:53:30+00:00

Older guy here, use what you want with this info.

Become a complete person. What I mean by that is develop hobbies.What do you like to do? Read books. Educate yourself. Being a "catch" means you are bringing something into the relationship other than your looks.

Research.Research.Research. Lurk on MGTOW forums and see examples of how NOT to become a catch. If you look behind the hate on there you can see guys "going their own way" and what they like to do. It gives you insight into what guys like. I'll tell you right now one of the best hobbies you can have is hiking, you stay in shape and I hate to say it but you meet the best people "out there". Alot of times its hard to find the "best people" on the internet.

Finally stop blaming yourself. Your human. You get to be upset about family issues. A good analogy is if your trying to build muscle, you have to break down that muscle so it can repair and grow. So don't look at bad or failed relationships as "wasted time". When you are young and dating you are going to school, you are finding out what you like and want in a person - plus you learn about yourself. Often time societal pressure forces women into bad relationships, if your young there is always time.

BTW I'm 50 and I'm still a work in progress, part of becoming an interesting person is you never stop learning.

Brap_Sugoi · 2018-09-05T19:55:42+00:00

You have to be more specific. What was the exact breaking point? We're you being too nagging, too controlling, or disrespectful?

Men are simple in their needs - they need to be fed, they need sexual stimulation, they need your compassion, faithfulness, love and absolutely most of all your respect.

Above all else a man wants to be respected. Compare this to women's want to be seen as desirable. A man's need and want for respect is absolutely on par.

You do all of these things, practice self control, swallow your emotions down in the heat of the moment (we women are far too emotional creatures and have been spoiled into placing said emotions above all else) and realize that he has feelings too that need to be respected.

There you go, that's how you become a catch.

EmotionalSupportRat · 2018-08-20T21:11:56+00:00

How long was your last relationship and how long are you single? How did you change and grown (please give some examples) and what tools did you use to do so? I think it is easier to give you a response with a bit more background info :)

Title	How can I become a "catch"?
Author	Flame_Tigeress
Upvotes	27
Comments	12
Date	August 20, 2018 7:17 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/98ribv/how_can_i_become_a_catch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/how-can-i-become-a-catch.208403 https://theredarchive.com/post/208403