In the most recent Random RP Thoughts post /u/PhantomDream09 had an interesting comment about infidelity:
I'd like to know how others specifically define cheating in their own relationships, and what rules (if any) they have in place to make sure problems don't crop up. This would expand into a broader discussion of why it's important to not tolerate cheating at all when it comes to LTRs. I do believe there is a valid argument to be made that marriage can survive infidelity, whereas it's foolish to stick around if it's just an LTR. I think there are some people that would argue that LTRs can survive infidelity - and I agree that it is possible....but ultimately not worth the effort in any way.
Really the only thing that makes an LTR valid is the presence of absolute fidelity. You don't have a ring, or legal bond that ties you together - it is only a verbal contract. The minute that contract is violated, the legitimacy of the relationship is dissolved. Essentially my argument is that LTRs live and die on trust, whereas marriages (due to the added ropes of obligation, duty, and penalties upon separation) are in a better position to withstand the blows of infidelity (and rebuild) the relationship. Spouses can't just walk out the door and never return, an LTR can.
I do realize there are things like common law marriage as well - but I that's still not as binding as an actual marriage. People that marry go through a deliberate public ritual and they are recognized as family by the law. Even if it's just a courthouse wedding. It's also important to clarify that yes, lots of people get married impulsively, with no idea what they are doing, and marriages can be annulled. Just as couples that don't marry can still have relationships that last their entire lifetime. LTRs can bounce back from infidelity - the smarter option however would be to move on in the vast majority of cases.
I'd love to get everyone's thoughts on the subject of cheating. How do you define it? When do you think it is justified or at least forgivable? Do you consider escorts cheating? What about excessive porn use or "emotional" affairs?
Let's discuss!
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