I'm wondering if it's primarily doing a great job at domestic duties or if it's largely based on your individual husband's needs or his own definition.

We've been married 17 years, 6 children and I've stayed at home since our first (my second) was born, homeschooled all of them since 2004.

The kids are getting older and I'm having a harder and harder time knowing what my purpose is as they shift into more independent almost-adults. And I'm finding less and less satisfaction in doing those domestic chores. I know the kids could/should be doing some of them but getting the kids to do chores has been a struggle and I think that's part of problem - by me doing the chores I've assigned to them, I feel like I'm failing as a parent. Serving my husband is a large part of my purpose but the part of the day when he's at work is where I'm struggling.

But, if the domestic duties are the main goal of being the best red pill wife for my husband, then I need to shift my perspective on doing them and get back to doing them well.