Hello! This is my first original post on this sub, but one I have been ruminating on for months. So here goes.

Something women today could do with is to stop viewing the world through a lens of power struggle. The dynamics between people, and between men and women especially, are complex, for reasons we often discuss here. But I bet that they would not need to induce so much angst if they weren't so damn adversarial!

Let's consider feminists as an example. They may rail against legitimate issues (women weren't allowed to vote until... blah blah). But at its base, feminism is a toxic ideology, because it frames everything as men vs. women. Couldn't find a good physics study group in your mostly-male class? Disgusted with the guys' constant fart jokes? Clearly the men have all conspired to freeze you out, even as they lecherously undress you with their eyes. Now, you could just go and solve the problems through adult communication; but having a Struggle is so much more interesting!

Unfortunately, to some extent, non-feminists do this too. We look at our men as our pets and children, to be trained and domesticated. We think about how to manipulate them into X (buying us stuff) and weasel out of Y (anal sex). And I admit that this adversarial dynamic is obviously ages old and time-honored, exists for historical reasons, etc. But in the modern setting of non-arranged marriage, it serves more harm than good.

So, my (not-so-) easy solution to all this is: stop thinking about it that way. In your life, you will probably deal with a groping creep on the train, a low-balled salary offer, asshole plate-spinners, or a boyfriend who doesn't wash his dishes. You deal with these using your ingenuity, femininity, approaches such as those discussed here, and other strategies informed by your reason, nature, and existing social norms. But you don't let the strategies warp your perceptions into permanent hierarchies that are not only false and simplistic, but that will also completely poison your relationships with the men in your life.