So for the last few months I’ve been visiting my grandparents weekly and me being there motivates them to go and have walks since it’s with me. I also just love talking with them and learning their stories, which I’m compiling together in a single anthology.

I was speaking with my grandmother today about families and she suddenly brought up a very interesting topic: men and cheating. For context, we come from a cultural background that does have stereotypes about womanisers. She did say, “Do you know why your grandfather never cheated?”

“How do you avoid men cheating?” Definitely he’s a great man and with her smile I can tell she’s joking a bit, since she knows he does have great character. It’s also referencing the culture we have. Guys do cheat a lot and it used to be more glorified but not anymore.

Here’s the reply.

“You bring your children nearer to their father.”

She doesn’t mean literally, she means emotionally. I know the stories, she was a housewife and she would always tell her children to pay more attention towards their father rather than her. They always had dinner together and my grandfather would call if he can’t make it, no buts and ifs. When he’d come home from work, she created a routine to a T, they would all come to the door, greet him and help put his jacket, shoes away and give him the newspaper until dinner starts. She would always encourage them to give him hugs and kisses and to thank him for his work. Even until now she always reminds me to be affectionate with my grandfather.

I asked her why and it made sense. Many people think about their relationships as just two people and if somebody cheats, it’s seen usually as an affront to the partner, but when the children are close to him as well, it truly makes a husband think before doing anything not-good, not just cheating. In general as well it’s just good for children to bond with their father and have a more respectful, understanding relationship, especially since he’s not around during the day at home, like the mother. He feels more valued and solidified as the provider/man/leader in the family. Apparently her mother (my great grandmother) told her this advice.

Not many people do this nowadays! The more I think about it, I realise it’s so healthy. Great advice for a marriage with children regardless.

(Note: Well, definitely your husband/partner must have proved himself a good captain first before all this. The advice is considering you already have a great marriage with two mature people.)

What do you all think?