I am reposting something I submitted over a year ago under the title “RPW 101: Cultivating A Feminine Frame Of Mind”. It was originally going to be part of a series that explored core Red Pill concepts. Unfortunately life got in the way and I was unable to execute the series in the way that I wanted. I’m so glad to share this updated version with the community, and in the future it can be found in the Essential Posts section of the wiki (which has a collection of the best RPWives content submitted to date!).



Psychological Femininity

Feminism has permeated mainstream society to the point where myths of equality, empowerment and entitlement shape even the self-improvement resources available to women. Rarely are women encouraged to embrace their nature; androgynous appearance and masculine behaviours are perpetuated as ideal for all. This is an enormous disadvantage to women who don’t have positive female role models in their lives because once discovering the truth about gender differences, there are very few places where women can receive legitimate advice regarding self-improvement.

While there are an overwhelming amount of websites that provide information on makeup, fashion, flirting and other elements of girl game, there is a noticeable lack of quality materials that focus on the most important factor when it comes to attracting and gaining commitment from high quality men: psychological femininity. Developing this trait is a critical first step on the road to permanent change. It makes you pleasant to be around, and creates harmony in romantic relationships as men can effortlessly assume their natural role. Once this foundation is laid, it will be easier to identify areas to improve in your own life and begin the process of adopting new habits and traits.


Before delving in to the characteristics that make one feminine, it is important to dispel some false definitions that are popular today.

  • Femininity is not a weakness. It is also not a failed or incomplete/watered down version of masculinity. To put it simply, men and women are different. Each gender has positives, negatives, roles, and responsibilities that complement the other beautifully. When these innate distinctions are embraced, both men and women are happier and more successful, going even further in life than they would have otherwise.

  • Femininity has nothing to do with being a doormat. Submission within your relationship is not equivalent to being walked over or mistreated. It means trusting your man to lead, deferring to his decisions and supporting him in the way he needs. It means being less aggressive, combative, snarky, and sour. Outside of a relationship, being feminine isn’t the same as letting everyone do whatever they want, simply because you’re a girl. Striking a balance between politeness, respect and assertiveness is key in everyday interactions.

  • Femininity is not acting ditzy or dumb. You do not have to act less capable than you are to be feminine. Men are not sexually attracted to intelligence, and are put off by argumentative know-it-alls, but this does not mean that you have to limit yourself if you are an intellectual. The way you express yourself: tone, facial expression, vocabulary, etc. is extremely important. These determine how others will receive you.

  • Femininity is not dressing up or being “girly”. A lot of women seem to think that altering their wardrobe, makeup or hair is sufficient when it comes to making changes. But no amount of skirts, blush or bows will make you feminine if you lack the disposition. Femininity is expressed through appearance but appearance is not the source of femininity. If you haven’t internalised the concepts, you are merely playing dress up. There are no shortcuts.


Now, how does a psychologically feminine woman actually behave inside her relationship? She is:

  • Yielding. To yield is to submit, defer, and/or relinquish oneself to a higher power. Too often women vie for dominance within a relationship, stirring up drama instead of simply allowing their man to lead. “Allowing” does not mean giving the man permission to lead, it means stepping out of the way so that he can step up. How to be more yielding? Say yes more. Be flexible and generous. Let go of the need to control everything.

  • Receptive. A receptive woman is open, interested and responsive to new ideas or suggestions. Some tips on cultivating this trait: don’t immediately shoot down his statements or insist that your way is always the best way. Create situations where he can share something he enjoys with you. Keep in mind that you don’t know everything -- humility is key.

  • Supportive. Within romantic relationships it is often necessary to provide sympathy, reassurance, information or help. On a daily basis you should be offering positive encouragement, listening more than you speak, and building him up with your words. Let your love motivate you to assist, surprise, and satisfy him regularly. Don’t keep score of who is doing what for whom, simply focus on the ways you can enhance his life.

  • Pleasant. The most enchanting women are socially adept, agreeable, and enjoyable. Everyone, especially high value men, would rather spend time with a friendly and happy woman over someone who is mean or dull. If you want to light up a room simply laugh and smile, easily and often. Make sure your body language is open (hands facing outward, no crossing arms, no frowning, no hunching, etc.). Tell jokes; don’t take everything so seriously. Speak highly of your SO both in his presence and when he isn’t there. And most importantly, don’t whine or complain; entitlement is not attractive.

  • Empathetic. The concept of directly identifying with another’s emotions, situation and motives is extremely important. Female solipsism is very real and it can prevent harmony within relationships when a woman refuses to consider other perspectives than her own. To combat this, consciously seek to understand where your SO is coming from. Consider how he would want you to respond, act, or treat him in a situation, instead of assuming or projecting. Be compassionate and a source of comfort, but pay attention and give him space when he needs it.

  • Poised. This quality is harder to nail down but it is the end result of psychological femininity. A sense of composure, dignity, grace, and self-assurance radiates from the woman who embraces the positive aspects of her nature. Remember that your choices affect how your SO is perceived, so always carry yourself with purpose and distinction. This means proper posture, presenting yourself well, speaking clearly and in a light tone, and not chattering aimlessly.

Authentic transformation can only occur if you legitimately want to improve, and put in the requisite effort. Take the time to develop your character and acquire new traits. Don’t get frustrated if it is more difficult than you anticipated, and don’t get conceited if you see the results that you want quickly.

The best way to attract someone of high value is to become someone of high value. This all starts with cultivating a feminine frame of mind, but self-improvement is a lifelong journey.