This is the follow up to /u/Camille11325's relationship dynamics post that you can read here.

This was originally posted over two years ago, so if you're interested you can read the original RPW discussion around it here

General Thoughts

  • Remember that the descriptions in Part I are generalities, and they only apply to long term relationships. There is also an intentional, more extreme representation in the hypothetical descriptions that are used to explain the concepts. It is easy to see the dynamics in action when describing a man who is an 8+ on the dominance scale, with a woman who is a 2 and prefers a 4. That doesn’t mean that all HLL dynamics will look exactly like that scenario.

  • Every dynamic has the potential to be harmonious, some require more work from both parties than others. No relationship is inherently RP; if a woman doesn’t respect the individual man it doesn’t matter if they are LLL or HLH. Even LHL dynamics can by RP, yes this is rare, but it is possible!

  • Men don’t really have a dominance threshold (or submission threshold), they overwhelmingly prefer a woman who is less dominant than them in general, and psychologically feminine towards them. This means that L men pair well with L women. H men can work with either H or L women, but since most low dominance women also have a low dominance threshold, there are more HHH relationships than HLH.

  • I estimate that 80% of women are low dominance, and 20% of women are high dominance. Of course it may not seem like this because there are a lot of L women with bad character, and L women who act as if they are H because they think it is superior (thanks feminism!). This of course does not mean that all H women have bad character, just that the traits that L women tend to adopt in order to seem less feminine, make them unpleasant! Naturally high dominant women can be lovely.

  • I believe that 80% of women have a low dominance threshold, most of them preferring men with 30% - 50% alpha traits, and 50%-70% good beta traits. This means that 20% of women have high thresholds, and an even smaller proportion are suited for long term relationships with men who have the greatest amount of alpha traits.

  • H women are more likely to have high thresholds because they need a man who can command their respect.

  • A lot of women who are LL think they are LH because they assume that good beta traits = alpha traits. While I do think that there will be more LH women on RPW simply because of the nature of this subreddit, most here are LL and in LLL dynamics with greater betas.

  • Don't confuse someone's disposition with their dominance level! A man can be laid back and high dominance, he can also be boisterous and low dominance. Similarly high dominance women can be reserved, and low dominance women can be bold. Hopefully the examples below and in future posts can clarify the matter further.

Dominance levels and thresholds are just one aspect of what makes a couple compatible and successful. This system isn’t meant to replace any other means of assessing compatibility and it works very well in combination with looking at the MBTI and love languages of each person.

It also meshes nicely with the female archetypes theory that Dr. Toni Grant developed*. She believes that women have a primary and secondary role that they naturally operate in. The archetypes are:

  • The Mother (The Nurturer): "The Mother is a caretaker, a woman who thrives upon her attachments to others. She nurtures not only her own children, but other relatives and female friends, as well as the men in her life."

  • The Madonna (The Counselor): "The Madonna is reflective. She embodies the quintessentially feminine virtues of patience, silence, and faith... men enjoy her because she is so reflective of their own moods and feelings... she inspires the man in her life to greatness, supporting him unconditionally in his quest"

  • The Courtesan (The Lover): "The Courtesan... operates primarily in personal relationship to man on intellectual and emotional as well as sexual levels."

  • The Amazon (The Warrior): "The Amazon Woman is highly focused, ambitious, assertive, goal-oriented, and self-sufficient. She relates to the men in her life as companions, co-workers, and competitors."

Low dominance women are more likely to be nurturers and madonnas, high dominance women are more likely to be warriors and courtesans. Low threshold women are more likely to be nurturers and madonnas, high threshold women are more likely to be warriors and courtesans. More specifically, I believe these pairings are accurate when it comes to the roles each type of woman naturally fills:

  • LL = Mother and Madonna

  • LH = Madonna and Courtesan

  • HH = Amazon and Courtesan

  • HL = Amazon and Mother

*= The four archetypes were originally shared with this community by /u/readlovegrow in an awesome post! I will see if we can get that post on this sub, it will lead to so many great discussions :)

Examples in Fiction (Spoilers Below!)

Beauty and the Beast

The Cosby Show

The Office

  • Roy and Pam are a great example of a non extreme HLL relationship. It is not abusive or violent, but Roy cannot make Pam happy by simply being himself.

  • Jan and Michael Scott had a dysfunctional LHL dynamic. The episode "Dinner Party" highlights everything wrong with the pair, and the clip I selected is just a small sample of how controlling Jan can be.

  • At the start of the series, Ryan and Kelly are in a dysfunctional HLH dynamic that suits their unstable personalities. I couldn't find any great clips online but this fan made video is just so fun!

  • There are a lot of LLL relationships such as Jim and Pam, Holly and Michael Scott, Phyllis and Bob Vance, or Erin and Andy.

Goodfellas

Hope all of that was interesting and made sense! Looking forward to discussing it all with you guys, definitely suggest more fictional examples of the dynamics if you can.