RPWi weekly reflections: 8/29/16 the "I'm so in love" edition

2016-08-29T14:03:14+00:00

Good:

Worked out after a really bad week of allergies. Feeling good.
Slowly removing red meat from my diet. Super happy.
Hung out with one of my close girlfriends. We're going to try to make it a regular thing.
Joined a really big and active church and I'm planning to get baptized yay!

Bad:

Boyfriend broke up with me. No harm done. We both gave it our best shot and it didn't work out. He was a really great guy though. I wish him the best.
I'm single again! Blargh! That's a given. So I'm not happy about that. But weirdly enough, I'm not depressed over it. I look and feel great, I have a lot going for me, so I'm just working to stay positive and keep a forward-moving outlook.

Ugly:

Nothing really.

QueenBee126 · 2016-08-29T11:33:26+00:00

So the good. Everything. Lol. I was on vacation and usually I do one trip a year with a girlfriend or two to an exotic country to try local cuisine. This year we went to Greece. But while away I had a thought "I don't think I ever wanna do this again". All I could think while I was away was "oh my SO would love this" or "this would have been better with my SO". I was planning on telling my SO this but the second he saw me he gave me a huge hug and kiss and said "never leave me like this again!!!!!!" He was half joking but when I said "OK" I think he about melted into me. It was a touching moment.

Bad. Nada.

Ugly. Nada

Bonus. I knew I loved my SO for a while but what solidified it for me was a moment we had a couple months ago. I was under a lot of pressure to get some progress done in one of my houses for the bank to payout some funds. But my contractor was slackin heavily. My SO came to my rescue. We worked in that house until 2 am. He didn't complain once and when i wanted to quit he pushed me hard to finish. We got in the car and maybe I was tired maybe I was hungry but I started crying. For the first time in my life... ever... had I felt loved as I did in that moment. I owe this man and honestly he will never collect on this debt. He's a keeper.

Camille11325 · 2016-08-29T21:37:42+00:00

I've been sick so I was away from reddit, RPW, and the IRC for a little over a week. The break was necessary, and I'm not 100% better but I'm glad to be getting back to normal activities. I'll be reading and commenting on older posts that I missed, but I will be taking it slow and easing back into participation in the sub.

I'm very grateful for how understanding, patient, and helpful M has been throughout all of this unpleasantness. I knew I loved him and wanted to marry him on day 3 and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be with him. As far as how I knew, there wasn't anything he did or said specifically, something just shifted within me and I was certain he was the one.

MemoirsofaWife · 2016-08-29T15:29:51+00:00

So I just wrote a novel on how I first knew I was in love with Husband. For brevity sake, I've condensed it to this: I don't know when I first knew I was in love with Husband. It's been over 10 years and all our memories never come in chronological order for me. It feels like I knew the second I saw him.

The Good: We had our prenatal appointment this week. And I haven't gained any more weight! Wahoo! That's fantastic because I really gained too much at the end of the first trimester/beginning of second trimester when I realized I could eat without feeling sick. I'm so glad that our hard work of cutting out sugar and carbs really paid off. Oh, and my acne is clearing up! Thanks water! Husband even complimented how clear my face is getting. I just about died of happiness!

The Bad: Our little siamese attacked Husband in his sleep after I left for work (I start work at 3am). His face was all bloodied. I felt so terrible for Husband. I was feeling so guilty everytime I looked at his face. We looked into re-homing the kitty but Husband thinks it's a better idea to start the transition to outdoor living with us.

The Ugly: I've been super needy with Husband. He's been working so hard at finding a new job that will support all three of us since it's his dream for me to be a SAHM. And when he hasn't been looking for work, he's been working on the renovations so we can finally start the nursery. But all I want is to be held by him for a few hours. So ungrateful! :( :(

cats_or_get_out · 2016-08-29T15:49:45+00:00

The Good

Ran the gnarliest trail with my husband yesterday. My goal was 11 miles. I hadn't run over 10 miles in a stretch. This trail has insane hills, and my total gained feet was 962. Up and down and up and down! I was proud that I dug in deep and persevered. My husband said that he was really impressed with my performance. He makes everything look effortless. Men have such an advantage when it comes to athletics that it can feel like being a kid with your dad when we go run. Haha. Overall, I've been running about 20-25 miles a week between my running club and solo runs. I love how running makes me feel.

The Bad

I catch myself being judgmental when I am out and about in public. It's like a bad reflex. I need to work on that. Not only is it counterproductive, it can affect my attitude and disposition (also RBF). It's not my role to critique everyone else in my head. Plus, I find that people who are very critical like this often are very, very hard on themselves. I think it is a self-destructive behavior, and I sometimes slip into it. I want to find the good and lovely in everyone. It's easier for me to knee-jerk react and find the ugly. Our ugliness is so obvious. Plus, I notice that I am often projecting my own fears and anxieties onto others when I am "disgusted" with others. I guess I want to seek to understand more than anything else.

The Ugly

My eyebrows. Dude, I looked in the mirror and saw Grandpa Munster looking back at me. How do I let this happen? Same with shaving my legs. I'll think that I'm just skipping a day, and before I know it, it's been a week or longer. I grew up in drought country, and shaving feels "wasteful" of water to me. Dumb, I know. Also, I'm used to my husband being gone for weeks or months at a time. I feel like it's a waste to have soft legs if no one is going to touch them. No more excuses....going to work on my legs and my eyebrows now....

roserose91 · 2016-08-29T16:45:03+00:00

First time I'll ever post here!

Good: We're moving across the country in a few weeks and planning our wedding for next year. This past weekend we had an Engagement/Farewell party with all of our close family. It was hosted at my future MIL's house and our families got along famously. Made me feel happy and loved!

Bad: I've been feeling pretty bad about my weight lately whenever I think of wedding dress shopping. Despite this I have yet to actually start doing anything about it and it just makes it worse. Need to work on this.

Ugly: Nothing that I can think of.

Bonus: I think I realized that I was in love about a month and a half into our relationship. I was telling him some details about my childhood and they weren't all happy memories (it was by no means a bad childhood but my father and I are very similar in our tempers and it occasionally got out of hand) I had never opened up to anyone about it before and my SO just sat and actually listened to me. When I was done talking and thoroughly balling my eyes out he just hugged me and told me something along the lines of "it's ok I'll protect you now, that's all in the past". I knew right then that I loved him!

2016-08-29T19:05:51+00:00

Good:

I got a job offer this morning! I started looking for greener pastures a little while back once I realized that things were not going to be getting better any time soon at my current place. I interviewed last week with a firm that had expressed their desire to have me on board a few months back during a seminar, we're still negotiating things right now but I'm confident we're going to reach a mutually beneficial agreement by the end of the day.
Fiance and I came up with a great plan this weekend to be debt-free by the time we're married (with the exception of his student loans, but I mean, whatever). We're going to start up the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University soon too.

Bad:

Nothing really, other than feeling bad about leaving my employer. I really do love my boss and my coworkers, but I can't handle this kind of workload and be a good partner. I decided against becoming an attorney for this reason, I don't want to work 55-hour weeks unless it's a very infrequent thing.

Ugly:

The backyard looks like a jungle and that's got to be dealt with here in the extremely near future.

BONUS! Our first baseball game together. There was a lot of tension as he's a Cubs fan and I'm a Cardinals fan. He was trying to teach me how to take a panoramic shot with his phone and I could not figure it out for the life of me (I blame the Bud Light) and he was leaning over towards me to show me and I just had this weird feeling like I've never had before, it's hard to describe. It was like a combination of warmth, safety, and this sense that I could relax totally and it was totally okay. I had never felt so protected, which is weird because we were just drunk and watching a baseball game while he teased me about my team losing to his stupid team. I love him completely despite the fact that he's a Cubs fan. <3

frozen_strawberry · 2016-08-30T12:44:18+00:00

good:

finished a paper last night
got my vaccines updated today and it didnt even hurt plus they gave me awesome dinosaur band aids
edit: totally just forgot about doing my laundry ahead of schedule, yay for that.
bad:
should have finished that paper last week
i was almost done with all the green card paperwork and just had L double check everything today when he noticed i messed up his social. thank god for strict gun laws here or i would have put one to my head.
ugly (literally):
i was so tired this morning that i could barely function walking out of the house. i was 30 minutes into an hour long drive when i noticed i completely forgot to do my make up. didnt even cross my mind this morning. i even got up early enough and everything.

bonus: when i hugged him and the world just went silent in a really good way.

2016-08-29T15:38:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Trauma_Burn_RN · 2016-08-29T18:05:08+00:00

Good: We're in our new house! And we are so stinkin' happy! We don't have much furniture, so it's pretty sparse, but hey, less to have to vacuum around, right? :) Both of our families offered to help, so we were almost completely moved in after 6 hours.

Bad: Bad? What bad? My life and my boo are great!

Ugly: The stress and excitement and junk food that invariable accompanies moving has turned my face into a zitty pizza. Bleh. A few weeks of low-carb dieting will have it all cleared up, though.

I swear I fell in love that first date, even though I'm sure sure it was just infatuation. But we had plenty in common, which is unusual for the city I live in, and we spent most of the date doing our Christmas shopping together! It was just so comfortable and not awkward that I deleted tinder that night, sure I found the one. As for a specific moment or reason? I had been steadily paying down my student loans for months before I met him. I was hellbent, man. No new clothes, no coffee out, no Internet, no trips or fun or anything. I saved every penny and sent it towards my loan, and when I finally paid that suckered off, he celebrated with me as if it were his burden he was free from too. He bought me a beautiful bicycle, and made a point to remind me often that I was debt free :) It seems like such a dusty, dull old topic (personal finance), be he was so enthusiastically willing to dive in and celebrate with me... I knew he was the one :)

BellaScarletta · 2016-08-29T19:41:34+00:00

Good: Haven't missed a gym date with R yet! Feeling super duper proud and being that he is a personal trainer, I can see how happy it makes him that I share his passion with him. And it's a passion that makes me feel good so woo!

Bad: Diet not on point, but we've agreed baby steps so I'm not feeling too beat up about it, I'm seeing it improve.

Ugly: Nothing really (:

Bonus: Not single but also not really there yet with R. I will say this is my idea of love as it relates to new relationships;

. .. .... .... - -- --- ---------

Like my ghetto graphic?? Lol! But for real. I think the feeling of love comes as a brief moment at first, some split second thing where you just get a rush of it. Then it's gone. Then not too long later, another. Then they happen more frequently, until they stop being split second moments and start being measurable periods of time. Eventually those measurable periods of time turn into a consistent feeling you can stand on, and that is what gets stronger over time. (Hope graphic makes sense now, or may stay dumb hahaha).

With R, I feel like I am in that area right before the brief moments turn into longer experiences. Sometimes it's something he does, or says, or just a look that makes me think he's feeling it too. I wouldn't feel comfortable actually saying the words until the point where the feeling is constant. And that takes time and there's no reason to rush it.

But yeah, it's been interesting paying concious attention to it and being quite a bit more self-aware than I was in my previous relationship beginnings before I was RP-Aware.

2016-08-30T02:20:42+00:00

The good and the bad feel all mixed up together! But I'm going to try and separate them...

The good: these past few weeks have felt extra loving and harmonious. I've been working on being a better communicator -- getting over my passive aggressive tendencies and being more direct. It's been wonderful. I feel freer, my husband and I have been closer and happier and, wonder of wonders, my husband has become extra helpful around the house. I'm back to exercising regularly and have started meditating.

The bad: I've had too much work to do. I have a work-from-home job that's usually a breeze but sometimes it gets demanding. That, combined with the normal demands of kids and housework, made me feel really tired and made me revert to my cranky habits a few times. My husband took it in stride, though...he didn't take it personally, he just found ways to cheer me up. Still, I'd like to do better. There are always going to be busy times -- I'd like to find ways to deal with them better.

Also, I have been a little lax with the housework. Maybe very lax. Things are clean enough but the CLUTTER has built up. But I would almost rather be a little lax than go berserk trying to tidy when I'm already feeling overstretched...

Edit: I forgot about the bonus question! I knew that I loved my husband almost right away...I remember, even under the surface of that early infatuation, feeling a calm certainty. But we had known each other a long time before we got together. Then again, who can really say when love begins? Because my feeling now is much deeper than the feeling at the beginning...

2016-08-30T07:45:01+00:00

Good My diet and exercise are so incredibly on point right now. I got serious about strength training and now have that in common with my SO! (Yes, we discuss progress with regard to our lifts together :P) I feel like my current fitness regime is highly sustainable, so that means I can focus on other aspects of my life henceforth!

I've been reading a lot. It's so nourishing for the soul ... I'm trying to take better care of our plants, work on my skin care routine, want to up my eyebrow game, be creative and decorate the house a little more.

Bad I can be bad at phrasing a question, making it come across as some sort of a demand. UGH. And I have been complaining a bit too much lately. I have to think twice before I say something.

Ugly I am starting to feel disconnected from my job. I won't go into detail about this. So far, I have been able to keep a happy demeanor once I'm home, but I feel like that won't last if nothing changes at work soon.

BQ This is a tough one. We had been friends for the longest of times before we started dating. I think the first time I realized was when he insisted on moving in together. I was uncertain at first, took the plunge, couldn't be happier. Many of those "I am so in love with you" ("Let me hug you to death") moments followed :-)

MemoirsofaWife · 2016-08-29T14:49:59+00:00

Good

Okay, I did awesome this weekend sans husband. I only freaked out once when the dog barked and turned on every freaking light in the house at 3am - improvement from last time :)
I also practically completed 2 sewing projects while still keeping on my other weekend chores

Bad

I still can't seem to get through a weekend without him with out freaking out when the dog barks? Legit, I'm a scardy cat :(

Ugly

um... I got nothing :D

BONUS

oh man, okay -- hmm....I thought it was really early on in the relationship because the whole relationship was so different, but I there have been moments along the way that have hit me like -- I love you SO much - holy crap and I thought that was love -- Kind of a "I Thought I Loved You Then" by Brad Paisley thing I suppose.

2016-08-30T09:35:26+00:00

Goals for next Week: ( - start beging a better Mother. That means dialing back Housekeeper time and Wife - Time (No, Husband will not know it.) I fell into the same trap my mother fell into. She always wore an Apron to show that I was not allowed to demand her Time while she worked and then she took it off and my father came home and she was Wife. But never Mother. She never was there for me. Until she began working part time. Suddenly everyone was happy. (Father confirmed this yeas later)

Another 10 Books. 5 of them about Nordic Lore.
More reading with Son. I think it is a Mothers Duty to convey the Love of Books. Even if the children do not take to it.
more Me Time.
We (Husband is still of the opinion psychologists and Therapists are something for Weaklings and Women but has grudgingly accepted that he needs to change for the better) are looking into the possibilities of "Recovery Vacation" (or "Kur" in German).

Title	RPWi weekly reflections: 8/29/16 the "I'm so in love" edition
Author	CoochQuarantine
Upvotes	11
Comments	65
Date	August 29, 2016 10:59 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/504g39/rpwi_weekly_reflections_82916_the_im_so_in_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/rpwi-weekly-reflections-82916-the-im-so-in-love.209639 https://theredarchive.com/post/209639