Soft Place to Land

santarosa2020 · 2021-05-22T21:37:59+00:00

My husband has 2 days a week that he works from home now because of covid. When covid started, I made the home office a more comfortable place by adding a new comfortable chair and some plants. We now have a rule that the children are not ever allowed inside the home office. This makes it easier to keep them away while he is working and also keeps them from leaving messes in the office. We also purchased a small refrigerator for the home office so that my husband can keep drinks and his lunch in there so he doesn't need to break his concentration by walking to the kitchen.

For the children, I try to schedule 10 minutes of one on one time each day with each child to check in. I've accomplished this by keeping the other children occupied with activity baskets. The activity baskets are only allowed to be used at special times, so the children are very happy when the baskets come out. For the one on one time, I usually try to sit with the child on our porch or in his or her room, so that he/she can feel free to tell me anything away from other siblings overhearing. We resolve a lot of conflicts and worries this way.

Every husband is different. My husband does not like a mess. During covid, the children have had extra chores to keep the house looking even better. No allowances/special snacks are given until chores have been completed. Because of extra stress during covid, my husband hired someone to take over lawn care. This provides a job for someone in need and gives my husband one less thing to do.

A soft place to land means something different in each family. These things might work for you, but most likely you'll need to adjust them to fit your own family needs.

Kind_Entertainment_6 · 2021-05-23T00:55:18+00:00

Self discipline is not an act of will but of habit.

Start with today, today when your husband gives you a kiss, you will receive it. With everything you have, you will fight the inner urge to reject his love. Once again, self discipline is not an act of will, but of habit. Waiting around for will to come is a fools game. Inner will does what it wants. Inner will is what has us eat cake when we really know we shouldn’t.

But discipline, discipline is hard and takes conscious effort and practice. For instance, I haven’t always been gracious, agreeable, etc, but through habit and practice, I am all those things now. I didn’t rely on the will to be all those things, because wishes are just wishes. I practiced, until I became it.

You need to start implementing, remember wishes are just wishes. Start today and everyday after until one day you become what you’ve wanted. “I will give a hug to my husband today (acts of gentleness)”. Take it one day at a time and focus on your goals of gentleness for that day. I hope all of this makes sense

f1018 · 2021-05-22T21:00:25+00:00

I am also working hard on these things and I have come a long way from being taught as a child that being headstrong, stubborn and argumentative were virtues, so just know that if I can do it you sure can! Feel free to message me if you want to talk about it with someone with a similar struggle

HappilyMrs · 2021-05-23T09:49:48+00:00

Try to welcome the physical affection as you would with your kids. Even when you dont feel like cuddling them, you fake it so they know mummy is loving and they are safe to come to you whenever they need that touch. In that regard, your husband should be welcomed the same way.

Are you overloading yourself with child-related activities that means you dont have the energy and headspace for your husband? If so, can you cut back on them a little?

Him working from home wont be forever, but you'll never have this time over to show him your love and support during his work day, nor the time over to model the resiliency and adoration tour marriage has through a time of global crisis for your kids.

You've totally got this. This too shall pass.

teaandtalk · 2021-05-22T21:44:01+00:00

As you've been reading Laura Doyle, have you been following the advice about self care? Being a 'soft place to land' can only happen if you're tending to your own needs and ensuring that you have the emotional space and strength to be 'soft'.

Title	Soft Place to Land
Author	Lightandlush
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	May 22, 2021 5:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/nindb7/soft_place_to_land/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/soft-place-to-land.755509 https://theredarchive.com/post/755509