In Female Sexual Strategy I outline the resources that women have at our disposal and give an overview of the way RPW information can be applied to maximum effect. As explained in that post, girl game, traditional dynamics, and good character are the foundations of our strategy whether we are married or somewhere along the road to marriage. This post will explore how body language can be used effectively in conjunction with these three categories.

A thorough grasp of how people communicate with their bodies will give you an edge by improving the quality of your interactions. When it comes to girl game, charisma is an essential component of seduction, even in non sexual contexts. Mastering body language helps you time your actions and expressions for maximum effect. In general, your relationship dynamic will improve if you can pick up on your man’s subtle signals and adjust your behavior to meet his needs. And I feel like keeping the following information in mind (as well as general body language info) will lead to greater self awareness and patience, both directly related to good character.

Here’s what you should remain aware of as much as possible: posture and bearing, body movement, gestures, facial expressions, eye movements, touch and personal space, voice (tone, pitch, and speed), and micro-expressions. Most of the time we process signals automatically and react instinctively. If you practice noticing what others are doing and being more intentional with your own body, pretty soon you won’t have to actively think about all of those things at once.

Reading Your Man

There are a lot of avenues to explore when it comes to strategic use of body language, but I wanted to focus today on what to look out for in your man and actions you can realistically take on a daily basis. First, here are a few resources that break down simple and more complex ways of reading body language:

Before you approach or speak to your man, take note of his body language. This will only take a few seconds but it will give you so much useful information. Is he upset, stressed, angry, tired? Evaluate what you are about to say/do and approach in a way that doesn’t bother him. For example if he looks stressed and tired, don’t storm into his office ranting; if he is angry and closed off, don’t try to force him into a lighthearted, insignificant conversation if you know he’ll just get more frustrated. Watch his torso and feet - if they are pointed towards you he’s most likely interested in what you have to say, if not wait until he’s in a more receptive mood instead of forcing it.

Something to pay attention to while speaking to him: over control. This refers to super obvious attempts at friendly, non threatening body language in order to avoid being caught (in a lie, doing something wrong, etc). It could also manifest as clumsiness if they aren’t as good at self control and try too hard. If your man seems exceptionally strained and unnatural, he may be up to something. Don’t jump the gun and accuse him based on body language alone, but do pay attention, especially if he has a history of deception or infidelity.

Be sure to figure out how your man specifically expresses his emotions. Some men are more reserved and serious, and seem upset when they aren’t. Others may say they are fine but if you look closer, their body language tells another story. We don’t discuss this as often on the sub but you should be able to pick up on when your man feels embarrassed and if possible help the situation. If you are embarrassing him, stop. If someone else has embarrassed him you have to be careful about when and how you interfere, but definitely make a point to understand when he feels this way and what it looks like.

Of course this information can also be used when he is feeling positive! When he’s in a good mood, mirroring is a great way to keep that going. More on this later.

Body Language When Interacting With Your Man

Weakness vs. Femininity

When researching body language tactics, don’t just try out every gesture or expression labeled as “submissive” under the assumption that this will make men want to protect and/or sleep with you. Legitimate displays of weakness can inspire feelings of aggression, disgust, pity, or contempt in men. They may feel an urge to crush the weakness and act harsher or even violent towards you. Or if they feel like you are beneath them they could ignore you and say cruel things. All of this is instinctual and subconscious of course; and it generally remains a subtle undercurrent beneath their words. The ultimate result though is that he will not be more attracted to you, and it may contribute to conflict!

What are the key differences between feminine body language and weak body language? Weakness looks like shrinking and hiding, avoiding violence or judgement. Placing a physical barrier between you and your man - crossing arms, holding a book or bag close - makes it seem as if you are protecting yourself and bracing for impact. Tensing up your body and making tiny movements is interpreted as an attempt to stay guarded and avoid being a target. But in doing so you might actually make yourself a target, depending on the situation. Creating distance between you and your man is also seen as an act rooted in weakness and fear.

In contrast, feminine body language is submissive in that it involves exposing yourself to your man. Being more open and vulnerable is central. So is subtly suggesting sex, highlighting your best assets, and making men feel at ease. More on this later. Insecurity can read as feminine or weak depending on the full context. Are you extra concerned because you want to please your man? (Preening) He can tell and it’s attractive. Are you worried due to feelings of inferiority or fear? Not attractive. I think a core aspect of communicating feminine submission is indicating trust and having an inviting disposition. Inviting looks, comments, and of course physical touch (or at least implying that you’d like him to touch you).

Dominance Signals To Avoid

If there’s one thing you don’t want to do, it’s challenge your man and appear as a threat. This page lists so many signals that convey dominance, it’s definitely worth the read. Here are some indirect/subtle body language cues that you may not realise indicate disrespect and aggression:

  • Making a point to stand or sit higher than him e.g. he is seating and you are standing when having a negative conversation.

  • Invading his personal space or territory and using what he owns in a casual manner. This can even include “helpful” things like rearranging a desk.

  • Touching and holding his upper body in a way that indicates of ownership. E.g. leading him around by the arms. Ordering him around in front of others.

  • Interruptions.

  • Hurrying. This can mean rushing him to get ready, walking too quickly so he has to follow you, or speaking too quickly.

  • Avoiding eye contact - ignoring, not giving time of day, not pausing what you are doing to listen to what he has to say.

  • Intense staring - find the middle ground!

Even if you aren’t aware that you’re doing this, he can definitely tell. Most men are very sensitive to signs of disrespect and will instinctively react to perceived challenges. If you are in the middle of an argument it is especially important to be mindful of your facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc. You can escalate a situation just by going from a neutral to a more hostile stance. Many situations can be diffused by following the principles outlined in this post, but when your man is especially angry and the conflict resolution techniques don’t work, the least you can do is not make yourself a bigger threat!

Responding To His Displays Of Dominance

If you are with a masculine man (greater beta + all the alphas) then your man is going to use body language to convey his level of confidence, pride, aggression, sense of ownership, etc. When he does this, it is important to respond appropriately - and you likely already do 90% of the time. Obvious things to avoid: weakness signals, challenging signals. Sort of obvious but not as easy to catch is body language that is: closed off, disinterested, and impatient. You want him to know that he is the center of your world, even when you’re actually busy or stressed you can adjust your demeanor so that you’re not making your bad mood his problem.

If you are newer to RPW or if you have a low dominance threshold, you may be less comfortable with overt displays of dominance. Especially displays of ownership and aggression. If he is trying to communicate protection, lust, or even comfort around you: don’t tense up, look terrified, or act awkward. As he advances, receive him - both literally and metaphorically. If you embrace appearing “owned” in public (in the traditional sense), you will definitely give your man a status boost!

Strategies You Can Use Every Day

The most common way to use body language is to reinforce what you’re saying and doing. This occurs when your expressions, gestures, etc. and words are in line. So when you are with your man and you want to show that you care about him, doing things like leaning forward, slightly tilting your head, adopting a patient and open position, and everything else listed in the charts will communicate a consistent message. You can also use body language to complement your words. This happens when your body language adds more, different information. Timing is key here, a well executed glance or expression to punctuate a statement can make all the difference in the world. In combination, mastering the two approaches will improve your interactions with your man.

Most readers will be familiar with the concept of mirroring - copying what the other person is doing in order to make them feel comfortable and connected to you. When done properly this is an excellent way to build rapport. From what I read, men are more expressive with their bodies so when a woman mirrors her man, she should reduce the amount of facial expressions she makes and focus on what his body is doing. Following his lead when it comes to pacing is important as well. The speed at which you talk and move should be in sync with him. The same applies to tone, vocabulary, and inflection. Something more advanced but definitely effective - I have tried this personally - is breath matching. This is when you sync your breathing to his. It is hard to do when you’re just talking, and I feel like it’d be too distracting to try that anyways. I’ve had success when laying down together. Breathing in unison is a really subtle way to enhance intimacy.

Finally a great way to put body language knowledge into action is to use it to improve your mood and boost confidence. If you assume the stance, expressions, and breathing patterns for different emotions you will start to feel that new emotion. It’s pretty awesome and a great way to turn things around instead of wallowing in a bad mood and dragging others down.


Thats it! Hope it was helpful. Would love to hear your thoughts and how you use body language to strengthen your relationship :)

Edit: clarification on what I mean about not showing all of your negative emotions to your man.