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Why complaining is literally killing you

whistling_dixie
April 3, 2016
22 upvotes
/r/RedPillWives

The art of shutting up, and the science behind why it's good for you. Quit bitching!

http://www.scienceandnonduality.com/the-science-of-happiness-why-complaining-is-literally-killing-you/

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Post Information
Title Why complaining is literally killing you
Author whistling_dixie
Upvotes 22
Comments 9
Date April 3, 2016 4:47 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWives
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/why-complaining-is-literally-killing-you.210217
https://theredarchive.com/post/210217
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4d6u94/why_complaining_is_literally_killing_you/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Complaining is one of the quickest and easiest ways to make yourself miserable to be around. Nobody likes a complainer, it is really bad character.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never realized that a lot of the things I said just as passing comments came off as complaining until my boyfriend pointed it out. I started paying a lot more attention to what I say before I do it, and though I am obviously not perfect, it has definitely made a positive impact to eliminate the negative speech.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I've gotten so much better at STFU-ing but I would still describe myself as a high-stress/high-negativity person at times. Granted, each affects the other so choosing to speak more positively has made massive improvements on my state of mind..but there is more work to be done.

I notice most hours of the day I'm literally holding my breath or breathing shallowly or completely tensed. Then I have these moments of perfect clarity where I can actually smell the air and process the moment and feel great. Those moments are amazing, but when I become the most aware how far my daily minutes are from it. I would like moments like those to be my default, but that seems like quite the long-term goal that I don't quite know how to tackle.

Negativity is absolutely a poison though. It's a huge battle to win even just choosing to speak more positively even if you can't quite feel it all the time yet.

[–]PixieDelightsMid 30s | Married 8 years | total 122 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I started this 30 day yoga beginner thing and at the end of each segment she sits cross legged and tall, and put your hands together. Then she says/does

Hands to forehead to remind us to have clear and loving thoughts

Hands to the heard to remind us heart to have clear and loving intentions

Hands to the mouth to remind us to have clear and loving communications

If I take nothing else away from doing this, I hope it is those three things.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh I like the sound of it! Do you have a link maybe??

[–]PixieDelightsMid 30s | Married 8 years | total 122 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEs9dX8UXFZqbJf-Cbm3zYDVkS53PlThW

I am on day 4, and I am really enjoying it!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I figured out not verbalizing my problems or other complaints and instead trying to directly fix them first was the major step that's made me happier and healthier. This is especially true when I'm having an issue while I'm having a nice time talking to a guy who I'm considering dating. Even if I'm having a minor issue, I don't mention it anymore like I might have before. Now guys think I'm much more happy and attractive as a partner to them.

[–]Camille113252 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is great!

Thinking before you speak and having a filter removes a lot of stress from our men as well. When we don't mention every little problem or negative thought they can focus on what is important to them. And when we do bring things up, they take it seriously.

When someone labels you as a complainer they will automatically write off everything you say, and that is the last thing you want your SO to do!

[–]jade_cat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When someone labels you as a complainer they will automatically write off everything you say, and that is the last thing you want your SO to do!

Exactly. Cry wolf too much, and no one will take you seriously after a while.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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