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A hateful negative woman is an ugly woman.

March 24, 2020

We always talk about our roles as wives and mothers, but I've personally never seen this important trait out.

Hatred makes you ugly, as does constant negativity.

Part of our role is to be a refreshing part of our spouses day, a breath of fresh air when in a rough patch. Maybe don't ask your spouse about the stressful question you're worried about, instead have faith that he as a man can take care of the issue and instead focus yourself on making the situation lighter or simply be a sunbeam of distraction.

Another thing is being hateful. I dont believe you can be a proper woman while holding onto hate, whether it be a small grudge or something more severe like homophobia or racism. Overall, being a negative person is not only harmful to yourself and your heart, but also your partner. Love everyone and be kind to others, I feel as if this is a massive trait to being a beautiful woman

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Post Information
Title A hateful negative woman is an ugly woman.
Author Strawberry_Drops
Upvotes 164
Comments 26
Date March 24, 2020 11:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]Sparkeliez42 points43 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I so fully agree. And anger and hate really start having an affect on your face too as time goes on. I've seen some pretty attractive girls start looking terribly ugly over time because of their attitude. It actually can change your face.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]Sparkeliez0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So true!

[–]readishmaelandtrip3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Went to a gay men's weeklong gathering of about 20-30 called Queer Magic run by Radical Faerie. As one of maybe two straight men there I had a blast. Brought a hetero girl with me. Was run by a hetero woman named Stella and a really amazing event. Almost everyone else there was a gay man.

Except this one woman. She seemed like a radical feminist. Always scowling, especially at me.

So at the end I had a teary check in with her in front of everyone during circle. I told her how hated I felt (I'm a tall, boisterous, outspoken, good-looking white man).

She broke down too and started crying and her face melted. Only way I can describe it. Softened dramatically. I couldn't believe the transformation.

This person who looked so ugly to me (because she was always looking so disgusted with me) suddenly became this gorgeous woman, this beautiful young lady, a pretty girl, in a split second, because her face was showing nothing but a hardened heart and suddenly it broke and out she came.

We hugged and cried a bit together.

[–]Dr__Noonian__Soong25 points26 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

This makes me think of something perhaps lesser which is nagging. I think nagging comes natural to a lot of us, but why? My grandmother was a nag, and I vowed to never be one and I’m not, but it’s a conscious effort. I work at it.

[–]homestead_house_wife9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It really can be a struggle to not succumb to the learned behavior of nagging. I was raised by multiple nags (my mother, my sister, and my grandmother) it was like it was their language and they tried to teach it to me. I guess i learned whether i wanted to or not. I always disliked the way it sounded when they talked in their demeaning way but sadly find myself as an adult accidentally speaking in a similar fashion. I have to be very conscious when I speak but i sometimes slip. How do you keep yourself in check? How do you keep positive when you where raised to always find the negatives?

Edit:grammer and words

[–]Dr__Noonian__Soong12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“Raised to find the negatives.” That’s really accurate and really sad. I do a lot of stopping. I don’t just blurt anything out when I know I’m in that moody mood, when I’m a little annoyed. If I’m happy I blurt away! But when I’m feeling annoyed with him, I pause and breathe before I say anything or else it will be negative and naggy. It’s a struggle, but I never want to sound like my grandmother.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]Dr__Noonian__Soong4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

We can overcome that bullshit. We don’t have to be that way!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think there is sort of an emotional valve that gets released with nagging that makes it so appealing. I think it also makes us feel like we are better people. If I nag at my husband because of his mess, what I'm also saying is "I'm a better person than you because I live at a higher standard and I deserve better than this." It's a lot harder to swallow your frustration and try to come at something more graciously, or worse acknowledge that the thing you're nagging about isn't important. My husband the other day had friends over and he beamed at me and said "I cleaned up the kitchen first" but what he really did was put away the leftovers and dishes were stilk everywhere and the counter was dirty. I did unfortunately say with a gentle smile, "Your idea of clean is different than mine" but he did laugh because it is a running joke between us. Later I said I really appreciated it and gave him a big hug and kiss and we laughed about it and I finished the clean up to my standard without any kind of resentment because I know it's a me problem and he just tries to do his best. Which is a big improvement from the start of our marriage where I treated him like nothing he ever did to help was good enough. We are much happier now.

[–]Dr__Noonian__Soong2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re right. It is very much an emotional valve that gets released, that’s an excellent way of putting it. Now when I start the nag, I can feel the regret I’ll have when I’m done way before I’m done. It’s like regretting eating the whole cake while you’re eat it. Sometimes that makes me stop, most times, but not always. It’s a constant effort and one I’m proud to undertake.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nagging is totally emotional cake. That is a great example.

[–]spacebubbletea2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If your husband is a lazy unthanful drone then no wonder a woman can be a nag

[–]Ani_Infijar16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was riddled with anxiety and other issues which caused me to be negative for a large portion of my life. With the help of my doctor (and medicine) I was able to change my perspective and one of the things I noticed after time was the change in attention from both sexes.

I never realized how much of an affect my change had on others until an old coworker and I were moved onto the same project after being on different ones for the last few months.

After catching up he said "you know after you moved you were sorely missed." I joked that they all just missed me because of the food I brought in, and he said "well, yes. But you were just always so positive. It was nice to have that around a bunch of surely coworkers."

It was honestly flabbergasting to hear this no nonsense guy say something like that, and I've taken it to heart. It's nice to be the one bringing the sunshine. :)

[–]trenchfootbaby2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im glad you were able to find what you needed in order to be a source of energy (as opposed to a suck). Thats really great feedback!

[–]spacebubbletea3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Watch out for toxic positivity. When someone is like „positive vibes onlyyy” - this is a huge red flag. We are humans with all spectrum of emotions. Negative, positive. Sometimes we love sometimes hate. We can be happy, sad, sometimes red from anger. Don’t let yourself be dehumanized.

[–]TheBunk_TB3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ugly is a state of mind first.

[–]homestead_house_wife1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was definitely raised to find and see the negetives too. Thanks for the reminder, i need to be better and breathing and thinking when I'm in those moody moods also.

I didn't necessarily have a strong male figure in my life, atleast not one that was close enough with my mom, grandma, and sister to get them to want to be more positive. It was just a bunch of women feeding off each others insecurities and paranoias. I am learning every day that I can wake up and decide it will be a positive day and remind myself to put on my positive glasses to adjust my vision to see the good in things instead of all the bad or possible scary things that may happen. My husband has helped me a lot with this change and is mostly very patient with my learning a new uplifting language and way of thinking.

[–]HelenaJo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Getting away from people, like taking a trip or just looking myself away, helps. When I do this I become more optimistic and my outlook changes back to a positive one on its own.

[–]PeanutbutterDruidess0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This in part explains why a few of my friendships were struggling. They became so bitter, negative and ugly. I was getting settled into my roll as disabled homemaker and the anger I felt back in high school faded away, I was finding my peace and love, but they didn’t. It only caused a rift between us that grew and grew until things exploded. Looking back there was so much ugliness, just unnecessary hate for not reason to be hateful.

It can also bleed into you if you aren’t careful, it’s like the anger is contagious and taints everything if not careful.

[–]homestead_house_wife0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am sure you are doing great girl, keep on keeping on. I know your loved ones appreciate your positivity and the light you bring into their lives. You won't be like your grandma in that way because you are changing and learning to be your best self.

[–]applepies4kittens-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's good to always focus on maintaining and growing femininity and nurturing energy, but looks still matter the most: usually men would rather have a bitchy but model-esque 9/10 on their arm than a heart-warming but nothing special 6/10.. don't underestimate how visual men are, as 80% of a woman's value to a man is looks. (Don't believe me? Check AskMen subreddit)

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link


[–]applepies4kittens-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Beautiful women are very rarely bitter or negative, usually unattractive women are the ones who are bitter as they don't get the same privileges and attention from men that their more attractive friends get, but for those Plain Janes being kind spirited and gracious won't lift their smv up anyway and won't help them to compete in the dating market

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Argue with ideas not insults.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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