~ archived since 2018 ~

A little message of hope.

September 24, 2019

My youngest child just got married. His two older siblings are married; one married for four years with two children and the other married for a year. Both of my sons married women who had more education than they did (they have bachelor degrees) and my daughter married a man who matched her in education and salary. None of my son/daughters in laws were previously married or had children. All three of my children found good mates because they had high standards and the patience to keep searching until they found the right person. All three were close to thirty when they finally tied the knot.

Two of my children had a LTR with a SO that they lived with. MY daughter walked away after three years in what became a potentially abusive relationship. My son’s girl friend left him after four years, shortly after she convinced him to move closer to her parents and buy a house. It broke his heart, but it was a godsend. She was looking to him to be her meal ticket so when he did not agree to marry her until she finished her degree and the money didn’t come in as she expected, she bolted.

The point I want to make is this: They loved and lost and went on to love again. They didn’t become bitter; they didn’t give up on the opposite sex because they fell in love with a couple of bad apples. Instead they learned from their mistakes and vetted well the second time around. My third child also vetted well. He was with his girlfriend for five years and waited until they were both mature enough to make a forever commitment before he proposed.

I believe all three of my children have a very good chance of staying married because they all entered into it with the understanding that it was forever. I am not suggesting their lives will be all happy ever after. They will have their disagreements and hard times. Marriage is hard, like anything worthwhile in life. I am also aware that the chance of divorce is also a possibility, because there are no guarantees in life. As to any of my children being divorced raped, I will say that we as parents will do everything in our power to see that does not happen. My husband and I have been married for close to forty years. We believe in marriage and have done our best to instill that value in our children.

Do not give up on a forever marriage. Wait for it. Sacrifice for it. Fight for it. There are good men and women out there who are looking for someone to share their life with.

edited to say: Thank you for the gold.

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Post Information
Title A little message of hope.
Author stevierose789
Upvotes 145
Comments 6
Date September 24, 2019 9:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/a-little-message-of-hope.287710
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/d8tdi7/a_little_message_of_hope/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]lovin4415 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

[–]young_x22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

they learned from their mistakes and vetted well the second time around.

I'd wager this could take care of ~70% of relationship questions on reddit.

[–]yinonline7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. I mean that, thank you really. <3 :')

[–]mairymb5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much for sharing, it gives me hope ! 🙏🏼

[–]vintagegirlgame0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like you and your husband were good role models for them and provided a stable foundation as they were growing up. Props to you!

[–]stevierose789[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I cannot say we were the best of parents. We got married young and had our kids young. My daughter is really a much better mother than I was, because she is mature enough to do her research and dedicate her time to seeing that her children do grow up in a secure, stable environment. She has established healthy routines into her family dynamic that I could only dream of as a young mother. I learned as I went, but in my defense there was not the wealth of information out there at the touch of a button that today's young mothers have at there disposal if they care enough to tap into it. Granted, much of it has to be taken with a grain of salt. There is alot of horrible advice out there.

My husband and I did the best we could. We both came from backgrounds where criticism was the norm. Yes you did well, but you could do better. We swore as parents we would not use criticism and would try not to be critical of each other. Of course we had moments when we fell short and I have guilt that I live with because there were a few times I crushed my child's spirit instead of giving him/her the praise that was deserved. I remember these times, I don't think they necessarily do. The point I wish to make is this: You have the opportunity to have a good marriage and be a good parent if you decide to bring children into this world. You can overcome those experiences that were difficult growing up and use them as a reminder of what you do not want to do.

Edited to say: Although we did our best not to be critical of our children does not mean we did not have high standards in term of morality and work ethic. We worked hard and were honest. We expected the same from our children.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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