My youngest child just got married. His two older siblings are married; one married for four years with two children and the other married for a year. Both of my sons married women who had more education than they did (they have bachelor degrees) and my daughter married a man who matched her in education and salary. None of my son/daughters in laws were previously married or had children. All three of my children found good mates because they had high standards and the patience to keep searching until they found the right person. All three were close to thirty when they finally tied the knot.
Two of my children had a LTR with a SO that they lived with. MY daughter walked away after three years in what became a potentially abusive relationship. My son’s girl friend left him after four years, shortly after she convinced him to move closer to her parents and buy a house. It broke his heart, but it was a godsend. She was looking to him to be her meal ticket so when he did not agree to marry her until she finished her degree and the money didn’t come in as she expected, she bolted.
The point I want to make is this: They loved and lost and went on to love again. They didn’t become bitter; they didn’t give up on the opposite sex because they fell in love with a couple of bad apples. Instead they learned from their mistakes and vetted well the second time around. My third child also vetted well. He was with his girlfriend for five years and waited until they were both mature enough to make a forever commitment before he proposed.
I believe all three of my children have a very good chance of staying married because they all entered into it with the understanding that it was forever. I am not suggesting their lives will be all happy ever after. They will have their disagreements and hard times. Marriage is hard, like anything worthwhile in life. I am also aware that the chance of divorce is also a possibility, because there are no guarantees in life. As to any of my children being divorced raped, I will say that we as parents will do everything in our power to see that does not happen. My husband and I have been married for close to forty years. We believe in marriage and have done our best to instill that value in our children.
Do not give up on a forever marriage. Wait for it. Sacrifice for it. Fight for it. There are good men and women out there who are looking for someone to share their life with.
edited to say: Thank you for the gold.