~ archived since 2018 ~

A little update for you: “my husband sends me Instagram models daily”

June 12, 2021

Hello everyone, a few days ago I made a post here about my husband sending me pictures of Instagram models and asking for advice. I apologize because I’m not very familiar with posting on Reddit and I’m on mobile so I have no idea how to link the original post to this one, but it is fairly recent. When my husband got home from work that day, (after I gave him a minute to unwind and eat dinner) I brought up my concern about him sending me these pictures. I made sure not to get emotional about it or come off as accusatory, but I also stood my ground and did not back away from the conversation when he tried to say he was just joking. As a reminder, we are still fairly young (24f and 25m) and we’re just married a few months ago, although we have been dating for over 6 years. I expressed my feelings and asked him to be open with me about any areas that he is wanting me to improve in and I clearly stated that he is being hurtful by sending me these pictures and communicating in that way. I also told him that now that I have fully expressed how it made me feel, I will take any continuation of this behavior as being intentionally hurtful and would not tolerate it. We had a good talk about it. He tends to shy away from having talks like this but I made sure to convey how important this was to me and I feel that he listened and took it to heart. He told me he would stop and that he did not realize how much it affected me, and he has not sent me anymore pictures of other women, just our normal memes and silly stuff. I think part of the problem is that I am very meek by nature and have a hard time setting boundaries. As I said in the previous post, we are very happy in our relationship and I am so in love with my husband! This was one of the very few behaviors that was causing me stress. We talk a lot about STFU here, which is very important and still a necessary skill to improve on, however I think this was one of those rare occasions that calls for speaking your mind. I know it’s a little silly to be happy that he has not sent me pictures for a couple of days but I trust his promise and I’m so happy that I was completely frank and honest about how it made me feel. I appreciated the support in the comments and especially appreciated those who encouraged me to dig deeper into the problem and consider his point of view before letting my emotions get the better of me! This little experience has emphasized to me that you can be a traditional or submissive wife and still expect respect from your husband, and in fact those two need to go hand in hand . It is ok to hold your significant other to certain standards. I almost feel embarrassed that I did not fully express my hurt sooner than this, as if he wouldn’t be able to handle my concern appropriately. Anyways, just wanted to update you on the progress and encourage any other meek RPW’s that might have the same mindset as me!

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Post Information
Title A little update for you: “my husband sends me Instagram models daily”
Author spazzkitty
Upvotes 164
Comments 13
Date June 12, 2021 12:49 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post

[–]milkycocoa-puff 28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Whoo hoo! That’s awesome 😎👏🏼

[–]ApartTonight 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yay that’s great!! I’m glad you two talked about it. Communication is very important in relationships.

[–]MirriMazDuur 70 points71 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

" I also stood my ground and did not back away from the conversation when he tried to say he was just joking", " I will take any continuation of this behavior as being intentionally hurtful and would not tolerate it." You seem to be very good at handling relationship conflict and this is a good demonstration of defending your dignity in a relationship

[–]Iluvalmonds83 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is my favorite part of OP’s update. I’m very glad she had an effective and very constructive conversation with her husband. I suspected from the first post that this issue was simply from a lack of having that conversation.

[–]spazzkitty[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you! After reflecting on this situation I think that was definitely the problem on my part, I wasn’t being completely honest about it because I was (unintentionally) scared of being vulnerable! I’m glad I took my problem to him.

[–]InteractionUpper3409 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

she's better than most women...i think they should all take more. fair but firm comes to mind.

[–]bsuri089 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Im so happy for you!! And you got to exercise boundaries! Good for you!! Ahhh seriously this was a good one to read. please don't be embarrassed about how you felt, it's so understandable :) this is such a productive breakthrough

[–]Time-Astronomer-145 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well done! I love what you said - we can still be submissive and expect respect from our husbands. Wise beyond your years, love! I hope things continue to go well after the talk!

[–]DaisyDuke24 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much for the update! This is so wonderful to hear.

[–]SunshineSundress2 Star 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good for you, girl! Brava 👏 You were vulnerable and honest, and were able to let him know WHY you found it so hurtful.

[–]Honey_and_you 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well done ♥️

[–]cowgirl2990 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm proud of you. I saw the original post and didn't really have advice to contribute. It sounds like you handled it really well. It's hard for me to set boundaries, sometimes, too. The good news is, sometimes people take it more seriously when you do, because it's kind of a rare occurrence. Good job!

[–]nicksbrunchattiffany 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great news! ❤️

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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