What is the problem? (Neutral phrasing: use words like "we," and "our" so that you aren't trying to off-load problems at your SO's feet when there's actually plenty of blame to go around) I(22f) have been with my SO(30m) for about 10 months now. We are very serious about each each other and taking our relationship to the next level. We are long distance right now because of his work and my studies(law school)

From previous relationships, he has a son(2) and daughter(8). The 1st relationship ended 4yrs ago because of his ex cheating. The 2nd relationship ended 2yrs ago because she was with only him for his money. They are on speaking terms and co-parent well as far as I can tell. The 1st ex has since moved on to another relationship but the 2nd one is single.

I found out that a paternity test was never done on any of the kids. My SO has shared custody, supports the kids and spends time with them. He is a very good father. He loves them to bits.

I don't know how to discuss with my SO about paternity tests for his kids or even if it's appropriate. I'm scared of being the stereotypical step mom who comes in an kicks up dirt.

What are your faults? How have you contributed to the creation of these issues? I tend too ruminate and stress out over issues beyond my power.

Why do you think this (these) problem(s) manifested? The horror stories I read day in day out about women stringing along innocent guys for child support for kids that aren't biologically theirs.

What steps have you already taken to try and resolve the problem? So far I refrain on commenting on how he is raising his kids- he is a wonderful dad. I ask about their health and what they are up to that's it. I just brought up the subject and he confirmed that he has never asked for or thought of getting a DNA test for both his kids

How long has this been an issue? It's something I've been thinking about for a few months since we started getting serious, talking marriage and having 4 or 5 kids of our own.

Are you making a mountain out of a mole-hill? If a woman you really despised came to you with this issue, would you still think it's a legitimate concern? Or would you tell her she's throwing things out of proportion? I need help in discerning whether I am making a big deal about this.

How's your bedroom life right now? Are you taking care of his needs emotionally and physically? We are ldr right now. We role play and have phone sex almost every day.

TL,DR: Should I urge my SO to get a DNA test for his kids? Should I stay out of this? Am I being self-serving because I want to have children with him one day?

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