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Affirmation matters!

Cara_shammy
June 27, 2020
105 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen

I read somewhere,
No matter how mad you are, if your partner says I LOVE YOU, you gotta say I LOVE YOU TOO. Can't have them thinking your love is conditional.
Because you're upset doesn't mean, you don't give them reassurances. Yes you're mad but you still love them and you trynna work shit out.
This is so important ladies.

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Post Information
Title Affirmation matters!
Author Cara_shammy
Upvotes 105
Comments 14
Date June 27, 2020 4:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/affirmation-matters.703000
https://theredarchive.com/post/703000
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/hgncaa/affirmation_matters/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I have learned that a question to always ask during a fight is "What do I want the outcome to be?". Because some people will threaten the whole relationship just to be right or just to get their way. Or they will hold grudges, retaliate, or do other things that might not explicitly be to end the relationship, but absolutely do increase the chances of it happening.

So, absolutely affirmations matter. If you are just mad but still appreciate the relationship, then the relationship must be the top priority.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is something my husband and I have said a lot to each other. “Do you want to be right? Or de we want a good marriage? Because right now you are winning but it isn’t helping us at all”.

Of course there are somethings that warrant being “right”, but often they are just gotcha moments to make one of us feel better, but puts the other person down.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I definitely think it gets overlooked in some couples. They go on a full-attack at their partner and don't realize they are increasing the risk of things failing. They might say something, do something, or fight so frequently that the other person just says "This is too much. We are done". It is a form of taking the relationship and partner for granted. It is unreasonable to expect a partner to constantly put up with bad behaviour.

[–]Cara_shammy[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. This is so painful sometimes because the one whose world revolves around that relationship might give up on so many things just to make the SO happy. People should stop throwing tantrums just to get things done their way. Yes they can be upset but should not make their partner guilty into doing something. Disagree but don't hold back this i love you thing.

[–]girlpearl13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Very important. As a female with PTSD I need a constant reminder of this, and that's okay. What's not okay is acting upon your impulsives and straying from your goal.

[–]Cara_shammy[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Very much true. Don't want any regret later.

[–]girlpearl6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly! If someone says you need to fix something, consider it! Don't write it off as "their opinion."

[–]Pola_Lita4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I tell him he's such a fathead and good thing I love him the way that I do. He smiles and says he knows all about it.

[–]Cara_shammy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

sweet.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Cara_shammy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha we can be moody. Please bear with us.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Cara_shammy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Glad to hear that. Some partners won't even let their SO hug them.

[–]Noob_in_Dating2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Roger that !

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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