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Anyone else notice that people (men and women) are nicer to you when you dress feminine?

March 18, 2021


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Title Anyone else notice that people (men and women) are nicer to you when you dress feminine?
Author [deleted]
Upvotes 210
Comments 27
Date March 18, 2021 7:04 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
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[–]melissasue22477 79 points80 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! I work in a factory and how im treated when I'm out running errands after work vs when I have a day off and can dress feminine, is like night and day difference. I love it! I think people see feminine women as more innocent and in need of protection. I think it brings out peoples desire to help, even unknowingly.

[–]CauliflowerBlossom 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Women who show femininity bring out people's instinct to support/protect. For example, most of the questions asked on r/socialskills only get 2-3 answers. But there was one girl who wanted to get advice on how to act less "soft". She got 11 answers.

[–]Lilviscious 40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When I wear a dress with heels I notice men are much more thoughtful: holding doors open, asking if I need asisstance with anything. At first I thought I looked uncomfortable and was actually looking distressed because it's not often that I wear dresses or heels, but after several similar situations, I came to the conclusion that men (mostly older men) become more attentive to me. Not so much women.

For the men I think it's because it appeals to them in general and it reminds them 'oh yes, this is a lady, let's hold the door a bit longer so she doesn't have to push it'. Which is fine, I can do it myself, but I appreciate someone wanting to undo me of this 'burden', haha.

[–]neverendingtasklist 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've noticed this as well. It seems to be off putting for a lot of women I interact with, unless they are older. Maybe due to insecurities? But for men it is the opposite. All ages are more attentive.

[–][deleted] 71 points72 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am a man so this is going to be from my perspective.

If a women dresses feminine the chances of her being compative , rude and man hating is drastically lower usually none.

We feel more comfortable around feminine women who do not hate men and are not going to take everything we say in a wrong way.

Feminine women are approachable and usually when she is not interested she is not going to embarrass a man infront of bunch of people. They usually turn you down in a nice and polite way so you know that the risk of being hugly embarrassed infront large amount of people is way lower compared to your average modern women.

About holding the door or helping out i only usually do it for older women or feminine women. Because in my experience when i have done it for modern women they tend to get offended and say stuff like the following : You think i can't open the door for myself or some comment about do you think women are weak.

It's unfortunate but it is what it is

So yeah overall women who dress feminine are usually polite , nice and not man hating.

But this is largely based on mine and my friends experience.

[–]MilesDoodling 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

so true!

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have also noticed people being nicer to me, men and women alike.

For my part, I think it's because I'm in my mid-twenties and have lived in two college towns (cities) in my adult life. Most of the women in my generation have two settings when they get dressed: slutty as hell or I-woke-up-20min-before-class-and-I-don't-care-at-all.

The latter style is in literally every clothing store now: loose crop tops, boyfriend jeans, leggings, sweats, just a bunch of unattractive baggy clothes that don't fit. You know the look I'm talking about.

So when a young woman walks around in a floral A-line dress or jeans + a classy sweater that both fit.....yeah, no wonder I stand out to people.

[–]aussiedollface2 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% yes! Society respects a well-put together woman and I def notice men opening doors etc more.

[–]JadedByEntropy 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No. Women get really cruel when I dress up. Men aren't any nicer than usual.

[–]lovelyllamas 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Same I always feel like women are threatened around me when I dress up. Then when I don’t, treated like crap by them like if I’m way inferior to them.

[–]JadedByEntropy 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you think we're on the line of friend vs competition and any "effort" is a threat? Or is it like, we're always competition no matter what and the jealousy is what makes them mean?

[–]fullmooninleo8 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Same here. I have found it difficult to befriend women in work because of it. I am polite to people and engage in conversation but I’ve heard remarks that I’m “stuck up” or “think I’m better than everyone” and I’m pretty sure it’s because I wear dresses and skirts. Also, some women tend to give you evil eyes when you’re wearing something pretty. I work in a very casual work environment where people wear hoodies to the office. It’s quite upsetting to me at times that people view me in such a way just because I put effort into my appearance, because it’s who I am, I never show up without makeup or a nice outfit, and that makes people believe other stereotypical things about me, like I’m snooty, bratty, the list goes on. Feminine women are definitely not respected by ‘modern women’.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree.

[–]SamathaStevens 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes, 100% nicer! I always wear heels and a dress anywhere I go and I get so many compliments.I also always wear a headscarf but more of a 40's snood sytle rather than a bandana or hijab. People are just so much more open and enjoy talking with you. If I am trying to pick up a big bag of dog food or need help loading something ,I don't have to ask someone always offers. I have heard the argument that people are nicer because of the sexual element to femininity and that men are chasing women even if they can't have them. I don't think that is the case for me, I am still madly in live with my husband of over 25 years and I am certainly not flirting or trying to get attention. I just think people feel more comfortable around feminine women.

[–]arabiandoll 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey, I’m really curious about how you wear your scarf, do you have any pics(not of you ofc, just of the same style)? Thanks :)

[–]SamathaStevens 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure I can find something. It will probably be tomorrow but I can find a picture.

[–]Severe-Ad5200 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's because men are competitive with other men and also because of modern day practices and the like.

[–]Newkker 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I believe it has to do with conformity.
You're conforming to a traditional role which causes others to treat you in the way they were taught to treat people in that role. Its adaptive and prosocial, one of the reasons gender roles exist in the first place. Your style of dress implies something about who you are and what you believe, it can convey certain group signifiers. It can make it easier for the general public to view you as part of their in-group and thus be friendly. Most people are still fairly traditional with respect to gender roles and there are soft benefits to being in that in group.

[–]flounceymagoo 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. I notice when you have make up on, hair nice, and clothes looking good you get a lot better responses from people in public.

[–]NicoleInBlue 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men are nicer. Women (except for those over 60) aren't.

[–]CH705-807 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men too. When i dress more feminine i get instant looks and people are nicer

[–]RP_Bear9 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This makes perfect sense. And thank you for bringing some more beauty and kindness to this world!

[–]cast-away-ramadi06 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

FWIW, I get a lot more deferential treatment when I'm wearing my work clothes (well tailored suit, shined shoes, etc) than I do when I'm just bumming around the city.

[–]mamabearbug 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]softshadesofcream 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes! folks are more polite to me, especially when I'm in a high-end store or upper class place. I always dress casual like jeans, but I make sure my clothes and makeup match with one another. I like to wear flats and quilted purses.

[–]ArthurGayFrog 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to dress feminine. Women felt like i was trying too hard, men were neutral. Nothing changed

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