At what weight do get the most attention?

LemurianStarseed11 · 2020-12-18T22:15:38+00:00

Studies show a BMI of around 20.7 is most attractive to adult men, that can go down even lower (18-19) for college aged men.

WonderfullyCommon · 2020-12-18T17:30:49+00:00

What is the race & ethnicity of said guys you’re referring to? Where are the locations of these interactions?

Your results may vary based on who you’re around and where you are in the world. In certain parts of the world, thin is not in.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2020-12-18T18:12:39+00:00

Studies across cultures find that wealthy men prefer slender women. Men in greater financial peril prefer heavier women.

oneconfusedwriter · 2020-12-18T18:50:07+00:00

In the US, yes, the girls who get the most attention are on the thinner side of the healthy range, but it's by no means necessary for landing a good guy since there is a lot of variability in individual preference. I think that for a lot of us, being at our thinnest also coincided with being quite young, and I think that age is a better predictor of male attention than BMI overall. We also might be more confident at lower weights and put more effort into our appearance and showing off our bodies when we are thinner, which can play a part. I'm in a long-term relationship but even if I weren't, at this point in my life I'm much more interested in being healthy, toned, and confident about my body than I am about being tiny and liftable.

I will say that as someone with a history of starving myself, I know discussions like this would have set me off in the past, so I really hope that no one reads the comments in this thread and lets it fuel an eating disorder or encourage them to pursue an underweight body type. Good men value real health and pursue women who do the same.

TheBunk_TB · 2020-12-18T18:25:12+00:00

Depends on where you are. I once visited Jamaica while slightly overweight, and even though I was dressed modestly (long flowy bohemian dresses), I got catcalled and hissed at like you wouldn't believe.

I'll focus on America, where I live. Right now, I'm the healthiest weight and in the best shape I've ever been in (and it'll only get better). I'm 5'7" and currently weigh 141lb. My body fat is around 22% because I'm very physically active and lifting has done wonders....and I've only been back at it a few months since the gyms reopened in my area. I haven't even reached my "peak" physicality yet -- both in terms of beauty and fitness/stamina.

I never weighed myself at my heaviest (2015-2016), but if I had to guess, I'd say I was around 190-200lb. I get more attention now than I ever did in the past, and for the past couple of years have never really had trouble attracting men. I do have well-defined bones in some parts of my body (collarbones, hip bones, ribs), but my thighs/butt store more of my body fat. In that sense, I'm on the curvier side, but I am still fit and healthy.

Don't forget though: Your character and behavior count for a lot too. There's more to loving yourself than keeping your body healthy.

Jiatingzhufu · 2020-12-19T00:08:42+00:00

I’m 165cm (5ft5ish) and at my lowest I was about 55kg, received almost no attention.

Now I’m around 75kg, happily married and receive honestly much more attention. I think it’s due to how I carry myself. I’m much more confident, happy and honestly I just FEEL pretty, and people around me seem to respond well to that

arabiandoll · 2020-12-18T17:26:40+00:00

I’m interested in this too. I’m confused lately because Ive always thought men preferred curvier, thicker women but apparently women get more attention when they’re thinner. So idk

jonmarli · 2020-12-18T19:32:46+00:00

Weight as in numbers or whatever is honestly pretty irrelevant as body composition can drastically change how much volume your body occupies at a given weight. If you’re strong and have a larger skeleton you’ll weigh more but still be smaller (sometimes considerably smaller) than someone who is the same height and weight but who isn’t strong. And on top of that, general body shape and how the body carries weight has a huge impact on how much fat the body can carry while still looking very attractive. Of course overweight is not usually attractive (though some men love it) and underweight is not usually attractive (though some men love it) and a slender, relatively fit body with a bit of softness seems to be favored by most men. Think Marilyn Monroe, who was quite petite but still looked “curvy”.

Also, how you carry yourself really matters more than your body shape as long as you aren’t at an extreme. Most men find body confidence super hot.

Nneka7 · 2020-12-18T18:18:51+00:00

I am thin with a protruding collar bone, but I have a round butt that pops out in a noticeable way. For context I am 5'8 and 125 pounds. I think the balance between being thin yet having some healthy curve to my body helps. I assume that rail thin without any womanly curve at all is not ideal to some men. I am a black woman, and i've noticed that my body type attracts men of all races due to my thin frame balanced by some sort of feminine softness or curve.

2020-12-18T17:31:55+00:00

I think in general at least in the US, men enjoy naturally thin women. However my husband prefers the fit and healthy look. My collarbones still show (I’m assuming that’s what you mean) but my abs, calves, inner thighs, arms, butt, and back are defined but nowhere near body builder-ish. I weigh more than I ever have because muscle is more dense than fat, and my body fat is 18% which is the norm for female athletes, yet my BMI is still at 20.

Overall, health is most important. I think men are turned off by women who starve themselves to maintain a bony look...and this can affect female fertility in the long run if he wants a family.

Edit: from my experience living in the US

Brendadonna · 2020-12-18T19:19:35+00:00

I’m a bit overweight but I have a waist and large chest. I’ve never had trouble attracting affluent men even at my biggest. And I live in the states and in area where most people are thin

That being said, I’d look way better if I lost 20-30 pounds. I’m waiting to start dating when I do. Hopefully that’s around when covid will be over

JadedByEntropy · 2020-12-18T18:55:12+00:00

Bmi is a bad indicator if fitness. Im fit and most attractive when Very Fit. I was also my heaviest when I was most attractive and bmi was nearly "overweight" even though my waist was tiny tiny. Muscle weighs a LOT. I dropped 2pants sizes and at the same time gained 15lbs!

Asking for a goal weight or bmi is dangerous as it is not an indicator of attraction at any normal size. Its just mass per length, which is quite pointless for analyzing curves.

Also as someone who used to have an ED, the lust for bones is itself dangerous.

It is more sexy that you can play and jump and run than being boney feeling exhausted and tired and every muscle aches to exist.

Fitness and youth go together ❤ so to look young you must be capable and strong.

Thin is definitely not in. It's just weak.

cactusflower8 · 2020-12-18T20:58:31+00:00

I have gotten most attention when a bit over ideal weight.

peachblossom241 · 2020-12-18T22:39:45+00:00

I lost ~30 lbs on my 5’ 3” frame and got sooo much more attention almost immediately. The type of person doesn’t really make a difference, I live in the south around several different ethnicities and get hollered at/hit on equally amongst each group.

I’m about 110-115 now, I think the secret is my flat stomach makes my small titties look bigger. I’m also bottom heavy which is trendy now, but I think men generally prefer a balance between thin and curvy.

Gerealtor · 2020-12-19T13:11:01+00:00

I've personally always been slender and not yo-yo'd too much, but when I was underweight I didn't get more or less attention from men; I just got patronized more. I got the sense that, when they would hit on me, there'd often be a sense of "I can easily manipulate this little girl". I got far more praise and compliments from other women when I was that thin, though, from model type comments to "I wish I was as thin as you, how do you do it? Show me your waysss", even if I'd tell them it wasn't healthy and my hair was falling out lol.

I think with weight (within the 17-23 bmi range) and men, it comes down to the type of man you'd like to attract. If you're slender, as in between 17 and 20 bmi, I think you'll attract the more composed, well-spoken, less overtly sexual type of man. Possibly higher education and/or socio economic background. Possibly more "respectful" attention rather than just really wanting to have sex with you. With the curvier type of body, you'll probably attract more lustful looks because, let's face it, if you have more bodyfat, you have more boobs and bum. I think you'll probably have to be more wary of weeding out the ones who just feel initially sexually attracted to your womanly curves and the ones who genuinely prefer that body type in women, or genuinely like you.

As a rule of thumb, and yes I'm probably biased so keep that in mind, I think you'll have more success in terms of attracting high value mates who want something serious with you by being more slender. Just look at the most famous and rich men in this world, the ones who could have any type they'd want; you almost exclusively see slender women on their arms.

girlpearl · 2020-12-18T20:32:36+00:00

I would say men 18-24 like skinnier better and then 25 and on they start to prefer tits and ass over bones

Anonymous_fiend · 2020-12-18T17:32:22+00:00

Healthy and fertile/youthful (yet shapely/slim) is the most attractive to men. It's why men like longer shiny hair other and feminine traits. This can vary per person by body and muscle composition. Usually it tend to be around bmi 19-21 that is the most desirable (by various studies). I have very fine bones and look the best at bmi 18.5-19.5.

luxeluxeluxe · 2020-12-18T18:01:12+00:00

I’m naturally skinny and have found I attract men most when I’m fit and slightly curvy. I make and effort to eat well because I’ve found men whatever the race or gender like women who are fit but still feminine. Flat stomach, boobs and a butt. A flat stomach, perky boobs and a tight round ass will always win.

Javret · 2020-12-18T20:17:34+00:00

I noticed I got a lot more attention when I was thinner.

I got really sick one weekend when I was younger and lost around 10 pounds in a weekend. I recovered and gained the weight back pretty quickly but everyone kept telling me I looked incredible!

I have since gained some weight beyond then, but I am trying to lose 10 pounds because I think I'd look better if I was back where everyone told me I looked great. It's incredibly hard to do but I have been working out and eating healthier.

I wouldn't recommend going TOO low though. I was underweight during a different time in my life and that was a mess.

aussiedollface2 · 2020-12-19T05:43:55+00:00

I’m 5’10 and I’ve gotten the most attention at about 54kg. BMI around 18 seems to get me the most attention, this is in Australia and the UK. Here in Australia I feel like men definetly prefer thin women, sometimes extremely thin. The “curvy” or “thick” trend doesn’t seem to be a thing here as much xo

LateralThinker13 · 2020-12-19T09:12:44+00:00

.7 has been shown to be the ideal waist to hip ratio, even in men blind from birth.

Jubilee222 · 2020-12-20T18:40:43+00:00

BMI is a very poor indicator of health. It was never designed to be used as such, only as an arbitrary measurement
There is SO much that plays into attraction like ethnicity, culture, region, personal experience, bias, and preferances, and so on. It's really impossible to give much of a blanket answer beyond some basic generalizations that still won't apply to everyone.
Age plays into this as well. Most women naturally gain some weight after the 18-21/22 year old range. I work in women's health, actually, this is getting into prime fertility stages and lots of women, it's almost like a second growth spurt. They may go up in bra size and even a little in pant size. Age of the men in context is important to. What men prefer when they are 18-25 and 25+ tends to change as well.
Women need a healthy amount of body fat for optimal fertility. Progesterone in particular is a fat-mediated horomone. Women with a body fat percentage below a certain amount are at risk for amenorrhea, irregular cycles, difficulty conceiving, and difficult breastfeeding. Poor childhood nutrition can increase the risk of small and less than ideal pelvic shapes, leading to increased risks of difficulties giving birth.
"Healthy/ideal weight" is going to vary by individual body type, genetics, ethnicity, etc. I, for example, have about 43 inch hips (was about 40 before I had a child). I've got extremely wide hips, I've actually gotten a pelvic x-ray. There is no fat on either side of my hip bones, it's just my bones, with a very wide pelvic opening. I could diet till I died, it would not change my pant size but more than an inch max. This also allowed me to push out a malpositioned baby, unmedicated, without intervention. My husband loves it, and it's literally the way my body was built, we joke that I actually have "birthing hips". I've learned to love them, dress them well, and accentuate them, which is way more attractive then dieting myself to ill healthy to go down maybe one pant size.
In the past, a healthy amount of body fat was a wealth and status symbol. Thinness was associated with poverty. We now have the opposite experience where thinness is a wealth/status/education symbol.

Men that I've talked to when I was dating (married now), who were looking for long-term partners, women to start a family with, were not as interested in excessively thin women in general. There was a preferance for a healthy weight, but also not having an obsession with weight. Excessive dieting, not being willing to indulge, and obsession with appearance, were all very unnattractive qualities regardless of appearance.

I follow the 80%/90% rule. It's the rule that states in life that you can do 80-90% of the work on a various thing and the vast majority of people will be please, impressed, happy with your work, whatever. And you can do that 80% comfortably without pushing yourself beyond your limits, becoming unpleasant to be around, and without causing harm to yourself or those around you.

You are likely the only one that would notice the difference between 80% and 100%. And that last little peice would be ten times the work of the 80% that came before it. And it could potentially take away from other important things in life, could cause harm, could make you deeply unpleasant to be around, etc.

So, eat healthy, within reason. I love Micheal Pollens work on diet and lifestyle. But if achieving a certain look becomes obsessive, inhibits normal life functioning, makes you unpleasant, takes up way too much of your mental space and energy, that is inherently unnattractive. No one cares about collarbones that much, except the people trying to arbitrarily achieve them.

Yes, be healthy. But also indulge. Work out, but don't obsess. Take care of yourself, inside and out, and cultivate a healthy mindset and healthy relationship with your appearance. Vanity and obsession doesn't look good on anyone.

I had many men in my time of dating say that they loved just average women. Women who weren't "a bag of bones", and had a womanly, feminine figure. Someone who wasn't ripped with a six pack. Someone who wasn't overweight. Women who had breasts to grab, a butt to hold, some nice curves, but more than anything, a fun, easy-going, enjoyable to be around personality who had diverse interests, intelligence, and so forth.

Anyone can get someone's attention momentarily with looks. But it's a much deeper and more profound ability to keep that attention in the long term. Looks will eventually fad, long-term health, mental and physical, won't if you cultivate them.

arabiandoll · 2020-12-18T18:15:39+00:00

I’ve never weighed over 130. But I feel like I got the most attention when I was slightly underweight. (110-115). I’m 122 now and feel way better at this weight and healthy for my height.

2020-12-18T18:26:51+00:00

I have noticed that BMI 20-22 is what gets me the most attention.

writtenpragma · 2020-12-18T19:28:26+00:00

I'm 5'1and around 90 pounds. I was heavier in my teenage years, I didn't weigh myself at the time but I think I was 120lbs when I started college. I lost 30 pounds in a year, and I've never felt prettier. It helped a lot with male attention. Well, mostly. I've gotten a few comment here and there about being too skinny, or looking childish now. Other than that, it's pretty good right now. I'd definitely say men prefer skinnier and more feminine women.

femmewoman · 2020-12-18T20:12:09+00:00

I'm 5'10 and weigh 100lbs i do get a lot of attention

2020-12-20T17:02:46+00:00

Honestly I've found that the thinner, the better in terms of male attention (as long as you're not unhealthily thin.)

lovelyllamas · 2020-12-19T02:50:23+00:00

5’4 115-120. I just dyed my hair blonde(r) and noticed I am getting a TON more attention now, too.

-Raksu- · 2020-12-19T11:56:09+00:00

I feel like I'm too thin to look good (like, naked), but men seem to like what they see out on the street.
I'd say I have a thin/curvy figure, a sexy gait, and a twinkly smile. Maybe those things help.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-12-19T12:56:30+00:00

140 aka when I’m fit.

RiseAndPanic · 2020-12-19T19:11:40+00:00

I don’t think you can quantify a certain weight as ‘ideal’ as everyone’s best ranges are going to be vastly different. It depends on a variety of factors like height, frame, muscle, etc.

I may get downvoted for this, but whatever. It needs to be said. This is one of the RPW views I take serious issue with. We NEED to stop glorifying overly thin. This is triggering for people prone to disordered eating patterns (myself included). Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all advocating for being overweight or obese, but y’all need to keep this obsession with thinness in check. Strong and healthy are what we should be striving for.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-21T16:46:33+00:00

18-21ish probs. I think what type of build you have plays a key role too

LateralThinker13 · 2020-12-21T19:49:23+00:00

As long as you don't look anorexic, the less you weigh the better. YMMV. May be different in different ethnic communities (example: in black communities, a small butt is not as attractive as a large one).

Also, it's not the weight on a scale, it's your figure and apparent weight, not actual weight. A 5'4" woman who weighs 150 because she does a lot of bodybuilding will look a LOT more attractive than a woman at 130 who has zero muscle, just fat.

Waist-to-hip ratio is more useful than BMI or weight.

caffaccino · 2020-12-22T06:34:27+00:00

when i started weight lifting! it made my glutes and biceps tone while giving a nice ample curvness to it :) i am happy that my breasts are 36dd still lol i used to be so focused on cardio but i'm happy i took up weight lifting, i started to let go of jealousy and see my beauty and strength from taking up weight lifting

Title	At what weight do get the most attention?
Author	Davidoff24
Upvotes	68
Comments	97
Date	December 18, 2020 5:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/kfpae6/at_what_weight_do_get_the_most_attention/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/at-what-weight-do-get-the-most-attention.459874 https://theredarchive.com/post/459874