What is AF and what is BB?

AF/BB stands for alpha fucks / beta bucks. That sexual arousal and relationship needs are motivated by different - sometimes opposing - character traits. Let's delve in with some definitions first.

Alpha - in the animal kingdom, the alpha male is the biggest, strongest, fastest and/or most dominant male of the group. It's the top dog, the leader of the pack of wolves, the lion in charge of the pride etc. Likewise, the idea of an alpha male in humans is the strong, brash, pushy, bully (etc) who doesn't care about anyone's feelings. He'll brazenly go for what he wants with little to no regard for what others think.

Fucks - the idea that alpha qualities in men inspire sexual arousal in women.

Beta - if alpha means first, beta means second. Second in terms of boldness, brashness, strength and all the things that make an alpha, alpha. However, the beta male is a civilized male, whereas the alpha is not.

Bucks - the idea that civilized people inspire civilized behavior. Beta civility and caring for other people etc is stable, good mannered and upstanding. However, it's also boring and taken to the extreme, this can be a direct conflict to the excitement needed for sexual arousal.

Constructive or destructive

To put these concepts into other terms - AF comes from a standpoint of SMV and BB comes from a standpoint of RMV.

If people were to live like animals in the jungle, the strongest, most dominant man would have every woman to himself after killing off or chasing away all the men who won't be enslaved to him and do his work. This will carry on until one of the men who ran away, comes back to kill him and take over all the women. This is the way it works in many parts of the animal kingdom and to a certain degree in humans as well. After all, war brides has been a thing since forever.

However, we all know that such behavior is extremely destructive to society. Having men kill each other and stealing the women from each other will ensure a turbulent, murderous society which lives in the dark ages with no modern inventions. Because the more peaceful and fair a society is, the more it'll prosper, the more will be invented, the more everyone's lot in life is elevated.

As a side note - the idea of monogamy (religion aside) taps into this concept. If every (overwhelming majority) man can be assured to get a woman and not worry about her hypergamy destroying his life because it's very difficult for her to divorce, society becomes more peaceful and calm and everyone benefits. When large swaths of horny young men are unable to obtain a decent woman, societal instability becomes a real possibility. For centuries, monogamy ensured that almost every man was able to have a wife and family. The stability and responsibility that came along with it helped prevent societal collapse in many cases (although collapses can still occur for other reasons too). Monogamy and the shunning of divorce was far from perfect, but it was still immensely beneficial for society as a whole.

In past generations it was understood that sexual desire cannot be fully fulfilled in a constructive manner. Restraints on sexuality prioritized individual and societal long term stability and prosperity over the complete momentary actualization of sexual desires.

What's right for you

The above is the actual idea of AF/BB and how each has constructive and destructive parts. Constructive in an alpha is that he inspires wild and intense sexual attraction, desire and arousal in women. Destructive is that it leaves a lot of destruction in its wake, personally and on a societal level. Constructive in a beta is that he's stable and responsible, sensitive and caring and everything else you want in a husband and father. Destructive is that he can be boring too and boring is the antithesis to sexual attraction, desire and arousal. Without regular passionate sex, the marriage will fall apart.

What should be done as a result of this knowledge is where various RP communities and individuals will differ drastically.

  • A PUA will try to become that alpha male who has sex with all the women with no regard for the potential destruction it will cause to her or society. He will "enjoy the (societal) decline" as he gets his fun.

  • A MGTOW might decide that the game is not worth playing altogether. He'd rather have sex with a doll than to invest all that time, effort and money into becoming an alpha male, just to get sex.

  • A husband might try to incorporate more alpha traits into his personality.

  • A wife might try to be more respectful and yielding in order to inspire some more alpha traits in her husband.

Conclusion

AT the end of the day, beta males are better for society, for marriage and for raising children. The downside is that they can be boring and that may cause the women to lose sexual interest. The ideal happy medium (therefore) is to marry a beta male with a some alpha traits. This can only be accomplished if both husband and wife are absolutely committed to making it work.

For the husband it means being more clear, direct, assertive and decisive (and other such qualities). For the wife it means being more yielding, more respectful, more of a soft landing space and to focus on the parts of him that do turn her on sexually, so she can keep her sexual flame for him alive and well!

Both husband and wife, BF and GF, need to be ready to overlook "mess ups" without it interfering with their respect, attraction and commitment for each other if they wish for it to work long term.

Cheers!