What is RMV

RMV stands for relationships market value. The combination of the three concepts encapsulated in these three words is RMV.

Relationship - what's valuable in this context is only what's valuable for the relationship. (As will soon be explained)

Market - this has been covered in detail in a previous post

Value - this too has been covered in detail in a previous post

Some examples of what's valuable in a relationship

  • Love
  • Commitment
  • Devotion
  • Respect
  • Generosity
  • Forgiveness
  • Nurturing
  • Strength
  • Kindness
  • Empathy
  • Bonding

And much more.

These are valuable in both sexes but men and women Excell at different traits. There are certain things that are valuable to one gender more than the other or that are valuable to one gender but mean nothing at all to the other. Each one of these examples warrants a post in its own right, so I won't delve into them today. (Example - providing for men and N-count for women).

The abovementioned traits are valuable to most people, but what's valuable to you may be drastically different than what's valuable to someone else. This is more true with regards to RMV than with regards to SMV.

Stability and excitement

One thing that seems to be clear across time and culture is that stability is a key component of RMV. Different people may have different ideas of what stability means, but it seems clear to me that stability is a key component in relationships.

OTOH, sex and the sexual tension that leads to it is the opposite of stability! It's excitement, stirring and a strong sense of discomfort that gives you the desire to rip each other's clothes off and go wild in reckless abandon. That's the opposite of the calmness and firmness of the never moving, never budging, always the same, boring stability.

It's a double edged sword. Some people go to one extreme, allowing sex and passion to die off in the stability of family life, parenting and other constants of life. Others go to the other extreme, making passionate love with reckless abandon, to the point that things fall apart. Often the relationship itself falls apart with it.

A relationship is like a home

The difference between a house and a home is - a house is a structure, a physical edifice. A home is where you live, a non-physical being. The intangible part of you that fills your house, transforming it into a home. Likewise, this idea of a home is the joint element that is the two of you. Where 1+1=1 because there's something strong that binds the two of you together into one sturdy being, a unit, a family.

Every home has a foundation, the core values upon which your home is built. We don't all share the same values even if we live in the same city. However, if you're to enter into a relationship with someone, certain core values must be shared. These are the foundation of your home. These are the unlovable bedrock upon which your home stands. As mentioned in a different post (linked above), certain elements are so foundational, they're deep underground and never seen even though everything stands on them.

But a sturdy foundation and sturdy walls, ceilings, floors, roof etc only create a safe place within which to live. However, with all that safety and security, it'll still be quite cold inside. The passionate fire of sexual lust provides heat to warm the entire home.

Fire is amazingly constructive and destructive all at once. If it's contained and properly channeled, it can bring great benefit. If it's let loose, it'll burn down the entire house! So too with regards to the fire of sexual desire and lust. If it's missing, your home is cold. If it's properly channeled, you'll have a beautiful and pleasant home. If it's let wild, it'll consume everything in its path, leaving heaps of ashes in its wake.

Conclusion

On the surface it seems that SMV and RMV are in direct conflict with one another. What's good from a sexual standpoint seems to be detrimental to relationships (and this is often true). What's good from a relationship standpoint seems to be detrimental to sexuality (and this too is often true). However, if the home is built upon a solid foundation and has solid boundaries (walls etc), it can be constructively heated with the fiery passion and excitement of sexual lust and desire. Indeed, you can make regular passionate love with reckless abandon without banging your (proverbial) head in the wall.

Cheers!