Being a wife vs. being a girlfriend -- a small thought

snackysnackeeesnacki · 2019-03-27T05:48:38+00:00

Reminds me of John Mulaney in Comeback Kid.

"My wife. That's my wife. Has a much better ring to than pre-pubescent voice "Erhm can my girlfriend come along?"

theawaregirl · 2019-03-27T11:00:02+00:00

This is so true.

Before we were engaged, if I mentioned "boyfriend" to a coworker, they'd get a weird look on their face, so much so that another coworker would regularly jump in to clarify, "oh but they're very serious, they live together, they blah blah blah" as if my relationship had to be defended.

It is clear as day that if you're boyfriend/girlfriend, you're just children fooling around, no matter how serious you actually are.

In ancient Sparta, men above 30 who were unmarried were shamed endlessly. Here, we simply call them bachelors, and some idolize them in some ways, but at the end of the day, they still don't get the same respect as men who are married.

"Girlfriend" gets an eyeroll.

"Wife" gets a very different reaction.

The same thing works for women when they switch from saying "boyfriend" to "husband."

When you get married, you're displaying a very different level of commitment. And the rest of the world sees it, too. Marriage matters, 100%. For many more reasons than just this one.

enamite · 2019-03-27T12:01:01+00:00

I like being married because I don’t love being a free agent flapping in the wind. I like knowing someone has stamped my heart officially, that I wear their signature, on my finger.

I tend to enjoy the kink community too, but in the vanilla world, a wedding ring signifies what a collar would be in the kink world. At least for me, because I wouldn’t let just anyone collar me.

I am committed to ONE, no matter the realm we play in.

Vellore992 · 2019-03-27T06:30:37+00:00

Our status among our peers changed immediately and drastically upon getting married. It was actually quite shocking the increase in respect we both experienced at work, from our families, from our friends, etc.

kmjyu · 2019-03-29T05:06:52+00:00

I much prefer the term partner- and it’s gender inclusive! I’m married so I say husband but when I talk about other people’s boyfriends or girlfriends I say partner because we’re not children...

Dancersep38 · 2019-03-27T08:43:02+00:00

Yes. Being the wife is a total game changer. Fiancee was also a notable step up. I've always felt like there should be a term between girlfriend and fiancee. I was always annoyed talking about "my boyfriend" like some 16 year old kid. We were living together, had joint bank accounts, had been monogamous for 2 years, and so on; I was mid twenties and he was early 30s, hardly kids, we just hadn't officially gotten engaged yet, but we knew we were going to get married.

I'll never forget having to ask my cousin if my boyfriend was invited to her wedding too (I hated doing it as it's rude, but long story short, I asked.) She said he could and was all bitchy about it at the wedding, even had a super snide remark about if I ever got married. My husband literally proposed 2 days later. She did a complete 180 and was so happy for us. It still pisses me off. We were no less serious at her wedding than 2 days later, but that title changed.

To be fair though, I definitely think there should be more respect paid to a wife. We're in this legally. We took vows in front of everyone and have totally intermingled our lives. It is way more serious than 2 people just dating and should be treated as such. I know a couple who has been together for 10 years but they're still just dating. They're those "why do we need paperwork to prove anything" couples. That's fine, you do you, but they're all pissy when people point out it isn't the same as being married. Sorry, not sorry, it isn't the same. Now, I do think we need a term that conveys the seriousness of cohabiting couples, but it is still not going to earn the same status as a married couple. Life partner and similar feel so bland and usually just leads to more questions instead of clarifying the situation.

titamc · 2019-03-27T09:10:50+00:00

My husband and I aren't legally married, but our relationship status is legally equivalent to marriage here, so it left us in a weird situation in which we kinda could choose what to call each other. He never had any kind of problem with saying "my girlfriend", so he kept referring to me like that. I had all kinds of troubles for saying "my boyfriend", so I went with "my husband". I guess women have it worse.

padpump · 2019-03-27T12:30:52+00:00

Wife is another word for woman 👩 of course it sounds better than my girl(friend).

One is an actual contract (marriage) the other “thing” is just a temporal “fling” thing.

Reference:

https://www.google.ie/search?q=wife+etymology&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=de-ie&client=safari

Weib means woman in German. These days it’s however mostly used in a derogatory or demeaning fashion.

foid4you · 2019-03-27T22:52:39+00:00

I find it interesting the moment you say you want to check to see what your boy/girlfriend's opinion is on something, people tend to either comment that their boy/girlfriend is either controlling or have you on a leash... however, if you do the same with a spouse/fiance it's completely normal. It's normal to want to check in with your S.O. if you live together, it's normal to want to have your SO's opinion on things that would affect both of you, and should be socially acceptable to bring your SO to events that you would have no problem bringing if they were a spouse/fiance.

I expect there will always be friends that would tease you in good fun when it comes to a spouse/fiance saying no to something but will turn around and jeer the moment you mention a boy/girlfriend doing the same. People see the term "boy/girlfriend" and see it as noncommittal or don't take it seriously if they have been together for years, we can't even take people living together into account anymore because it's common for people to move in the beginning of the relationship these days.

This is my own opinion of course.

LittleMissAfrodite · 2019-04-24T12:02:21+00:00

There are definitely arbitrary social benefits to being matried if you care abiut those type of things. My captain and I refer to each other as "partners" and it carries a certain aura of respect as well. It is of course very arbitrary in our case but we don't blame people for making that mistake. It is just one of those social norms which will probably become less and less common over time given the trend of reduce marriage rates and higher rates of divorce. I am glad it makes you feel special though. That is always a nice feeling no matter how you get it.

Title	Being a wife vs. being a girlfriend -- a small thought
Author	aftertheafter-party
Upvotes	129
Comments	40
Date	March 27, 2019 5:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/being-a-wife-vs-being-a-girlfriend-a-small-thought.223423 https://theredarchive.com/post/223423
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/b60ib3/being_a_wife_vs_being_a_girlfriend_a_small_thought/