I spent 12 years of my life in love with a man. He has been cheating (emotional, but he denied it’s cheating), flirting, pursuing other females most of the 12 years. I never knew what i was to him but he has told me he loves me many times. My attempts to get clarity on our relationship gets him angry and makes me feel like i am just being used for sex. It feels like a relationship for me because i’ve only loved him and do my all for him, but for him he is always acting “single”. I get extremely jealous and insecure when he talks about his other plates. Even sends me their pics. (Younger, prettier women)

How do i break free from him emotionally? I loved him since i was 19. I have so many memories of us being in-love. Those memories replay in my mind constantly. Its deeply planted idea in my brain that he was the LOML. I feel my heart is stuck on him. I made excuses for all his bad behavior and forgave constantly because i thought this is love. I thought love was about giving freedom to your lover and not being selfish. But my heart keeps breaking over and over by his actions. He says i don’t understand masculine energy that its purpose is to “spread DNA”.