Being looked down on because you are a well kept feminine woman, anyone ever been there?

PrincessTeex · 2019-11-19T01:23:48+00:00

Just accept it and use it against them lol.

“No-one to impress here” - “Aww, I impressed you?”. “You were hired because you’re the prettiest” - “Aww you really think I’m pretty? Thank you!”

Who cares what other people think? They’re just projecting their own insecurities onto you.

covfefeismydrug · 2019-11-19T00:31:58+00:00

I live in the rural midwest and felt self conscious about wearing a flannel skirt on Saturday. I did it though, because I wanted to and I like looking dressed up. Everyone around here is very casual, which is fine, too. I actually got two compliments out and about, though, and it encouraged me to be my own “trendsetter.”

You do you!

Banincoming · 2019-11-19T01:26:09+00:00

They sound like the crab bucket people.

melitele3 · 2019-11-19T01:35:06+00:00

I can definitely relate to all of the things you have described here.

First of all it is a very common thing that has been studied that women tend to be very hostile towards attractive girls.

An attractive, smart and well kept woman is definitely very desired and on a high position in a “dating market”. Since other women subconsciously see this as a threat, they will try to make you feel bad about yourself so you stop caring and conform to their standards so that you aren’t a “threat” anymore. If you have strong personality and won’t give in, the gossips about you to ruin your reputation or diminish your success will surely start.

I don’t think going on a war with them will do you any good.

My advice is - heads up! Be proud of yourself. Don’t apologize for things that should not be apologized for. Do what makes you happy. After all you will be the one who is the winner and they simply know it. Living in constant anger and frustration or denial will age you fast and it will put off any person from you.

Living in rural place it isn’t easy. But think about it? Maybe there is a girl who likes those things just like you but she was tamed down? Maybe you will give an example to your community and after some time women around you (at least some of them) will feel inspired by you?

I remember I was very disliked for those very reasons in my village. I always heard nasty comments. But one day group of smaller girls came to me in shop and they said: oh you are so gorgeous! We wish we could have a sleepover with you so you can share your secrets! You are our inspiration! And that... was amazing to hear. So think of it maybe even as a mission as well?

Let’s beautify the world :)

hopefulalbatross · 2019-11-19T00:29:40+00:00

It’s always uncomfortable. It’s not hate against me but someone projecting their own insecurities which sucks. A lady at work complimented me on my dress and said she doesn’t deserve to Wear such nice things. :(

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-11-19T03:03:06+00:00

They don't look down on you. They envy you.

i-am-the-prize · 2019-11-19T03:48:41+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality

“... Crab mentality, also known as crabs in a bucket (also barrel, basket, or pot) mentality, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you".[1] The metaphor is derived from a pattern of behavior noted in crabs when they are trapped in a bucket. While any one crab could easily escape,[2] its efforts will be undermined by others, ensuring the group's collective demise.[3][4][5]

The analogy in human behavior is claimed to be that members of a group will attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings, to halt their progress.[6][7][8][9]...”

Translation: keep being wonderful and forget all those bitches.

jessica_3112 · 2019-11-19T00:55:57+00:00

Ignore them. They must be really unhappy/insecure to make those comments. If it makes YOU happy, then it’s all it counts.

giza_rohi · 2019-11-19T01:53:07+00:00

It’s projecting and jealousy, sadly

2019-11-19T00:24:05+00:00

Just keep doing you and ignore those haters. I'm more on the sloppy side: nothing but yoga pants and t-shirts here. But I'm not judging. If you like dressing up and being feminine, you should! Life is hard enough. We should all do what we can to be more comfortable and happy :)

pet_every_dog · 2019-11-19T04:26:54+00:00

Don’t change yourself to please others. A lot of girls like to talk trash and put others down. Sometimes it’s teasing other times it’s to make themselves feel better.

2019-11-19T02:45:26+00:00

Keeping a nice figure, taking care of yourself, doing your makeup, and putting together a cute outfit all require skills and effort. Our society today tries to get away with as little effort as possible.

These women are insecure and feel bad about themselves. They don't like seeing another woman take care of herself because it emphasizes their own lack of effort. I would just ignore them. Bask in the jealousy! :P

icanbingsu · 2019-11-19T05:59:38+00:00

It’s their self defense mechanism to help them avoid their insecurities. As long as no one is physically aggressive towards you or does anything to impede you, ignore the snide comments. They’ll get over it at some point. Or never! But that’s not your problem. I hope they come around though. I hope your hair grows back fast!

StrawberryCake88 · 2019-11-19T06:37:44+00:00

It’s them feeling less than. You hold a mirror to their own faults. It can happen with any positive attribute.

Sobinia · 2019-11-19T21:16:44+00:00

I can totally relate to this. Once I started applying redpill principles to my daily life, my mother immediately tried to put me down. I went on a diet? I'm anorexic! I put on a dress, let my hair loose and stopped wearing dirty rags? I dress up like a whore and am TOTALLY doing that to get the attention of men and sleep with them! I started cooking for myself? The dishes aren't clean after 5 minutes of cooking! How dare I take things from the fridge without her permission?! Luckily, I only need to live with her until April.

TheBunk_TB · 2019-11-19T12:30:33+00:00

Without using the "haters hate" trope?, I wanted to mention that many people sneer at what they aren't willing to do themselves if it requires work or is way outside of their knowledge/comfort zone. Many people would rather be slovenly (or in many cases "hambeasts"). It is easier to criticize and do the crabs in a bucket thing. People that have value for your actions appreciate what you do.

Zegiknie · 2019-11-19T07:33:58+00:00

Look, you have your values, others have theirs. Of course everyone thinks their own values are superior, so everyone kind of looks down on people that are too different from themselves.

The issue here is subtle rudeness. Act as if they are genuine compliments like PrincessTeex said.

FreeToBeTired · 2019-11-19T15:03:03+00:00

Rural Midwest here too. I honestly wish I had the guts to dress up more. Unfortunately my job is is ag and if I dress nice I don’t get acknowledged by my clients or coworkers. I just dress up at home.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-11-19T17:14:05+00:00

Simplest answer is this: "Bitches be jealous."

No more confusing than that. You do you, and consider the haters' criticisms as badges of honor.

Neuroentropic_Force · 2019-11-19T17:32:01+00:00

People behave this way because they are either insecure or jealous, or both. All of these comments reflect on them and not you. I'd remember that, feel bad for them for being so miserable, and move on with life. Use that kinds of behavior as a way to see who is and who isn't worth your time.

WildernessGirl247 · 2019-11-21T20:13:46+00:00

I live way out in the country and work from home. I put on a little makeup and style my hair everyday. I workout and lift weights, I care about how I look. I also put on mud boots and do yard work, and look like a Tomboy when I am doing out door chores. You wouldn’t know it if you saw me out for dinner with my husband! My husband will tell you I am very much feminine in the ways that are important. I have never regarded the remarks from other’s about my femininity, I don’t really care what others think. I take care of myself for me! Don’t let lazy people whom have no concern for their appearance bother you, they are Jealous of you and feel the need to try to bring you down to make themselves feel better.

2019-11-19T12:15:18+00:00

If you are going to go against the grain where you live be prepared to stand out. The comments that people are making are not particularly unkind.

I think women feel insecure when they see another woman made up all the time because they feel like you are holding them to that standard. Just say "you do you" and leave it at that.

vintagegirlgame · 2019-11-20T02:36:08+00:00

My philosophy is that a woman can never be overdressed if she knows how to work her personal style. I work on stage so I’m usually the most overdressed person at the venue so it feels natural for me. My makeup is pretty simple but I like expressing my style in what I wear. If someone were to judge me from the outside I want their judgement to actually be spot on!

Since I travel a lot I like the challenge of different settings/cities/occasions/activities. There’s a way to look put together even for informal occasions. If I’m going to the gym I like to have color coordinated exercise clothes. Going for a hike, I’ll wear a comfortable yet stylish outfit like I’m in a magazine. Even my hiking boots are super feminine. I don’t indulge in the whole instamodel thing but I like to look the part anyway.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-11-19T05:48:10+00:00

[removed]

nevomintoarce · 2019-11-19T17:17:30+00:00

People don't like seeing other people put in work because it exposes the lack of effort that they're putting in. Ultimately, this means that you make them feel bad about themselves because you remind them that they're lazy.

powerpuffgirl3 · 2019-11-20T15:54:50+00:00

Thank you for your post. I needed this today.

cmj87 · 2019-11-26T19:19:25+00:00

I'm really sorry you are experiencing this. & I don't have any advice, you could probably be a role model for me. I just started to let myself look sorta slovenly to blend in so that they would leave me the hell alone. It is a lot. I don't get people at all sometimes. But I definitely want to go back to being completely put together a majority of the time. Deep down inside I felt the most secure even if I was being negged to death.

2019-11-19T09:36:48+00:00

[deleted]

Eugenius666 · 2019-11-19T07:58:46+00:00

YOU are the one doing things the right way. YOU are the normal one, just remember that. We live in upside-down times. Thank you for being an embodiment of the ideal...a shining example for others, and remember the younger ones looking up to you as well. Breath of fresh air.

ShawtySayWhaaat · 2019-11-19T15:18:23+00:00

just ignore them, they're lowkey jealous that you look better, and smell better. Misery loves company.

Title	Being looked down on because you are a well kept feminine woman, anyone ever been there?
Author	ChuckYouFarleigh
Upvotes	163
Comments	44
Date	November 18, 2019 11:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/being-looked-down-on-because-you-are-a-well-kept.295771 https://theredarchive.com/post/295771
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dybnk1/being_looked_down_on_because_you_are_a_well_kept/