So I posted a few months ago about being more interesting bc I wanted to keep my so interested. He read the post and assured me those things were not so much issues, just observances. Things have gone well since then. We were making plans for me to move to Denmark, we knew there was a waiting period, and marriage and children (originally his idea) were all future plans.btw we were in a ldr,and yes we've been together, so this wasnt just flirting. I know recently I have been kind of irritated with the situation (us not being together regularly) but I was willing to reevaluate how things were being done. We had been talking about me losing weight, I'm not fat but I've not been in the shape I'm used to, and 3 weeks ago I was excited to tell him I'd lost a good amount of weight and he was really proud of me. So then he says he has a surprise as well, he's going to Thailand for a few weeks. In my gut I knew it would not end well. I wasn't happy at all, but i know both of us love traveling, and i wasnt going to complain. Anyways, the first week was okay, the second week was valentine's day and he apologized bc we didn't have a chance to do anything together and he said he would be leaving the next Sunday. So I figured the last week I would not bother him, so he could enjoy his last bit of time in Thailand, and then I could be super excited to see him. Monday he arrived home and Tuesday morning he says we need to talk. I knew it was the end, like I just expected it to be the worst. he wanted to do it face to face, anyways he says he realized being in Thailand that he was really happy for the first time in a long time and that he didn't find it necessary to talk to me constantly. He said that he is very happy with me, but not when I'm away, and he wasn't happy thinking about me and our situation all the time. I'll admit, I was going to have the same conversation when he got back, but i wanted to work on it. He also said he still loved me, but we both deserved better relationships than just waiting all the time and being miserable inbetween. We were almost 3 years together and had planned on being the last either of us would ever have.

I'm not angry with him, I understand his reasoning, and i have nothing bad to say about him. I still think he's the only one for me. He was not perfect, but he was perfect to and for me, and he was all I wanted. I told my sister, even if there was a chance of there being someone better, it wouldn't matter, he was all. I'm sure i sound melodramatic, but i always thought i would and could do anything for him, i still feel that way. And he says maybe with time it could work, but he doesn't want to drag me along hoping for something more. I feel broken now, I haven't eaten in days, can't breathe, and on Saturday im going back to a place where all i have are memories of him and I feel like I'm going to crack.

I'm really sorry for the bad grammar and incoherence, but he was my everything. I have friends and family, but no one is him. Every event in my life for the past 3 years he's been there. Before we went out I'd told him I hate being close to people bc no one wants to lose. I've shared everything and now I've just lost everything. Ig I need advice on getting over it, bc it is my first significant breakup. I don't want to forget him, it's the most alive and loved I've felt, but i need to be able to function, and i feel that I'm doing a poor job of it right now and im going to do something I really regret.