Do you also remember the answer "why do you care?" when you asked the question "what does he want?"
Do you also remember the question "why do you need a man to define who you are?" when you wanted to talk about wanting a boyfriend, husband or partner?
Do you remember the question "why don't you feel pretty the way you naturally are?" "why do you even want to be pretty?" when you asked about what you should wear or which make up to apply for a date?
Do you remember the question "why do you not love and respect yourself?" when you asked if and what you could have done better, after an argument or after a break up?
They sound like questions that seem to have your best, your feeling of self-worth at heart, but in fact they direct you away from what you actually need to understand in order to learn, improve and become better. They teach you that it is wrong wanting to be loved by a man. They direct you towards believing that love can be demanded, that love is deserved, irrespective of how unlovable one acts. They even deny that unlovable exists. They will feed your anger if you don't improve and fail again and again because everybody rejects your attempts of trying to understand what you could do better. They all have in common that they assume that what you want is wrong and make you feel bad and guilty for wanting to be feminine and loved.
Essentially they will make you feel as if you cannot be loved because they deny you the right to become who and how you want to be.
And usually they are asked by those people that will stab you in the back as soon as you don't meet THEIR expectations.
Update: Since I feel that my intention might not have been clear. The OP refers to the thoughts and feedback that I and probably many other women were growing up with. It was an evironment and mindset with that I constantly had to defend myself against the accusation of being a doormat, not respecting myself enough, or thinking too much when I questioned the "as soon as he loves you", "you just have to find the right one" narrative. It creates insecurity and guilt for the most natural desire to please ones partner or to seek harmony. These statements serve as examples for the subtle way in which the appeal to self-love and self-respect are used as manipulative instruments to justify hostility and mistrust against the man with whom one might spent a life-time.
It is easy to ignore this as soon as one understands the redpill. For a BP girl those statements are relationship and love destructors.