Cheat codes

Some easy ways I have found to quickly make my sweetheart happy:

• Don't have time to clean: Do the "good babysitter's cleaning job" which consists of neatening items, straightening piles, etc. It's not invasive or intensive, but it replaces randomness with intentionality. Use essential oils to clean a place aromatically. Spritz a little lavender on the bed sheets, put sage oil in the doorways, lemon-eucalyptus in the entryway/bathroom/kitchen. It's an immediate & total refresh on the energy of the space if you don't have time to do a full clean.

• Lacking sex/romance or stuck in a rut: Again, use smell / muscle memory. Put an outfit together with perfume that conjures memories of an awesome romantic day together. Take a walk outside or dance to your favorite music to brew up joy within yourself. Wear something sexy that doesn't "require" sex as a response (not spendy lingerie, but maybe nice sweatpants + a crop top or a silky robe + panties). When he does give you that good dxck, tell him how good he was & give him the pets he likes immediately afterward. Train him how to treat you.

• You are not communicating well or have "nothing to talk about": Do something new on your own. Listen to your old favorite album. Put on something sexy just for yourself while you do self-care. When you are with him next, tell him a story about how you are/were feeling: What does the weather smell like? What does the fabric of your dress remind you of?

• Sweetie had a bad day, or you have fallen down on your duties: Thank & compliment. Thank sweetie for patience & giving you space while you are not doing your best. Thank him for how hard he works. Compliment him on how sweet he is during your hard times. Compliment him on how impressive he is at what he does.

• Dude is pissed: Don't defend; if you defend, you are attacked. Listen, apologize, keep an open stance - physically & mentally. Stand your ground by vocalizing your wants & needs. Don't voice what you want as a solution ("I want more time with you"), voice your problem ("I'm feeling lonely, I want to feel connected").

• If you feel like a raisin: STOP GIVING OR DOING TOO MUCH. If you aren't feeling juicy, stop putting yourself there. Yes, it's great to be caring & supportive & provide comfort - but you can't authentically do this if you don't already feel juicy in yourself. Work yourself back up into a juicy state, & then you can go back to being a love-bug. You don't have to be mean, but there can be a storm over your waters - without you blaming it on anyone else - so buckle down, protect your resources, & be a weather reporter about the conditions on your island if asked.

Also, never do this shxt for someone who is not a Good Man. Don't do this unless you feel amazing whether he is with you or apart from you.